the house sold to someone else. at least it is under contract. I am alternating between dispair cuz we aren't finding anything else, relief cuz it is a done deal and I was so worried about Mark's eventual reaction, and anger cuz now I am stuck here. again. peachy
found out one of our neighbors is a real redneck. told him I had dated a hispanic and he asked if "Mark knew about that?!?!?!"
I laughed and said "why *name here*, you lil ol redneck you!". was slightly disappointed. made a bit of a joke about it. "of course he does!" (he does too), and said there isn't anything wrong with a lil dark meat. he got "real" concerned then and said, hispanic or black? and i said, why *name here*, the OTHER dark meat, HISPANIC!"
I had his g/f almost howling. and I said I had a ton of respect for most of them, they are usually very hard workers. not all, but more then not. different culture, but that isn't always bad. gonna stop here before I offend someone
anyway, I did/am still getting tons of things done. the textured out "wainscotting" is also painted. of course I have to redo parts of it. part of the back room has been gone thru. Brian's room looks TONS better, and got the extra dresser out (Alex's dresser). the crib is up and in our room (not sure I put that in yet), and altho it does help some Alex still isn't sleepign great
I did get out one day and dig a TON of bermuda out of my flower garden, AGAIN. it looks way better, and you can see the lil buds of the bulbs coming up so they can't be that pissed at beign dug up!
and I am still gearing up for my first buy on BaM. that'll be interesting. going to open up an Ebay shop, both for beads and jewelry, but not just yet. going to start in lil baby steps. I am going to list a bracelet and probably one or two earrings, hopefully within a week
ah yes, and if I didn't put much else in here, Mark did have hernia surgery about 1.5 weeks ago. he is one hurtin unit. I do feel for him, and I know he hurts. dang he can be such a baby sometimes tho. he is a borderline hypochondriac on occasion. I am starting to think he believes he is going to kick the bucket any day now I know it hurts babe, but DANG!
hehehe, there was some interesting bruising patterns, and it is common for the blood to settle in the lowest point, which would be in the scrotum and penis. I have been keeping an eye on the incision and other things, and I even got to say DANG, at least it isn't falling off oh man, I got quite the hoot out of that. made him laugh a lil too, and he swatted at my fanny. not too fast, I dodged *thb thb thb* he is starting to get faster now tho, I had better watch my step! :rofl:
seriously tho, the bruising was pretty nasty. it looked......really bad. purple, blue, red. I know he hurts.
anyway. on to more news. the army scootch is FAST now. and he goes where he pleases. another big problem is the dog water. is his favorite destination. we are now working on the word NO!!! AND making it stick. I can't believe my baby is growing up this fast. some days I can't wait for him to get bigger and more interactive, some days I want my baby baby back. he is so happy tho. he loves to smile and flirt with everyone. G-ma has a real soft spot for him, altho big Bud is still a ringer for her Dad, and she will always have a "special" spot for him
anyhow. things are going. AF reared her evil head again today. damn, I should have got that shot. I am almost scared to do it tho, last time it really messed me up. BUT, this time is way different
still makes me terribly nervous. we will see
oh yeah, and I have decided to start the legwork on a new addition. and try to loose a lil wt. will see hot it goes, I suck at doing it. I love food. I am fat for a REALLY good reason, I love food, food LOVES me!
damn it, I am so trying not to hate my father. and my mother for that f'ing matter. it shouldn't matter. I am being borderline psycho/petty about this, but DAMN IT, I am the one that is here, I am the one that helps out Mom, NOT my f'ing "perfect" penis endowed brother. yeah, that's right, I am just the f'ing worthless GIRL. no f'ing wonder I have issues with men! my never here, can't be bothered to call, doesn't have the BALLS to stand up to his wife and spend an odd holiday with HIS family always busy with everything BUT HIS family worthless BROTHER is the executor of my parents will. he is only here when Dad pays for gas, he is only here on "special" request, he is NEVER here on holidays, he NEVER helped around the house
but the lil F#CKER has a F#CKING **** so HE is going to take care of it. it shouldn't matter.
but it does. and I don't want my sons going over there to learn that BULL SH!T from ANYONE.
damn it I need friends. ones that I can go run around with. we should move. like to the E f'ing coast. far far away. just not where there are NorEasters or Hurricanes. damn, Idaho is looking better and better
this just f'ing hurts. I am so sick of it. it is like, OH LOOK, she has so much to stress over, to worry about, why not poke her while she is down. yeah yeah, that's a good thing, let's just remind her how WORTHLESS we really think she is. the ball-less ***** is, after all, JUST A GIRL
damn, I am going to go clean something before I cry
well, another day......still geting things done, more off then on, but hey, at least forward progress IS forward progress, right? not much done in the house. haven't been feeling fantastic. Alex has a few days of "good" nights and naps, and then more of nights from hell and me not dealing well with it. never did deal well with a lack of sleep!
on the other hand, LOTS of things going on. is the goings on that makes things interesting. like 2 new teeth (bottom) and more coming. like the army crawl isn't always on his belly, sometimes he is up on all 4's. like he sits up on his own now. like he has all but pulled up, def falls over really well now OH OH OH , LIKE MAMA!! it isn't just mommommommom, it is now MAMA or MAMAM. he gives hugs, still snuggles in quite nicely, and is (or was) eating really well, not just nursing! he and his brother play together, altho we do have to watch Brian so he doesn't WACK his brother or take ALL the toys. he is becoming a real "human" pretty quick. he claps too, zerberts, "flies" his airplanes and makes appropriate noises. he is such a doll
and, on another front, I also got wireless internet today. NICE! ok, not quite a nice as cable is, but it sends pretty quick, and is LIGHTNING fast in comparison to dial up! signed up for that internet phone thing too. oh yeah, and af was supposed to show a few days ago, so I did go blow a preg test (we never did have Mark tested afterwards). IT WAS NEGATIVE!
damn, that so had me sweating bullets!
oh yeah, and we also are going forward with an addition. mud/laundry/pantry type room. went and talked to our bank. that didn't go well. gotta go to the one that holds our house note. I guess. ah well.
SOOOOOOOOOO. anyway, Brian is at G-ma's house. we are getting things ready for the addition. will see how things go tomorrow.
oh yeah, and drove by the house we made the offer on. it did sell for sure. there are horses out there but, guess it wasn't meant to be. found out that YES, most of the houses out there are having problems with wells drying up. and altho we were ok with the floor plan it wasn't anything special. it did have other problems for us too. but I hope they enjoy it. who knows what is in store for us, we are still looking!
and with that I need to go. Alex is melting down. think he is about ready to go to bed! needs dinner for sure, and a lil nursing. still. *sigh*
something I didn't put in my journal yesterday. not sure I am handling it all that well, but my sister just lost her child. she was 4 mos or so, she had a sharp pain and went in to the dr. she is high risk, heprin shots and the whole shebang. the ultrasound showed no heart beat. she is devastated. I know, who isn't, but......Mom and Dad already have airline tickets to go for her due date, and they are scrambling to see if maybe they can change it if she wants them too. I might wait another day and see if she wants me to fly up. not sure I would do much good with the two boys.
THIS MEANS WAR!! that SH!T-HEAD has been throwing my stuff in the garage out! I have no idea if it is just one box of if that is why I can't find my stuff out there. what an INCREDIBLY STUPID thing to do
guess that means I don't have to wait for him to clean out the garage. means I can throw away anything I want. seems that is what he thinks, and I am itching to get rid of the stench of his ex wife.
what the HELL was he thinking?!?!?!?!
ok, was there ANY higher brain function involved? damn cave man mentality. he wants to have a pissing contest? don't mess with me honey, I can go from irritating to psycho b!tch in 1 second or less. my blood is boiling. IDIOT!
ok, I have to put something positive in my journal. don't have to go far tho I need to go get more big boy pants for Brian!! he still gets a diaper at night, but he hasn't had an accident in his big boy pants in several days! of course, if we put a pull up on him.....
well, the bank is gearing up to give us an answer on the line of equity. of course, our contractor STILL doesn't have plans done
he is due here tomorrow. if he doesn't show, he is FIRED. can his a$$, have had enough of this garbage!
on the up side, we do have ASPHALT!
Dan did along the E side of the garage last week, did the rest today. OMG it looks WONDERFUL! I can't wait to get something we can slide down the drive on...just me and the boys! we have this slight hill
and Brian is doing pretty good too. Alex has 3 teeth, will cruise like mad on anything, and has let go for a couple seconds here and there. he is getting so big, so FAST. the bead BUYING is going great. I just got a new shipment of crystals today, they are GORGEOUS. have another coming too. the splits are ready to go out shortly, just waiting for confirmation from my split partners. nothing quite as neat as getting a large package of Swarovski Crystals!
AND found out Mark is still throwing stuff out. it isn't good. he won't like me when I am done. hey, at least this time I am not psycho, but he also isn't stupid enough to be touchy feely. touch me ya big a$$ and I bite. he knows, leaving me alone for now anyway.
dang, I am so disappointed and angry at him. geez.......
VOILA! I FIRED HIS WORTHLESS A$$
and we have a new one. friend of Mom and Dad's, will be interesting to see how it goes. he was tryign to REALLY short notice it and get here today, but is swamped (both a good sign AND bad) and will be here tomorrow or Sat instead. he called first thing this am to let me know INSTEAD of waiting until I was WAITING all day for him. nice. of course, I was asleep. Alex had one hell of a night. not good. still, is nice he is on top of things!
more good news. two nights in a row. Brian is dry in the morning! he went to the game, went potty in the big noisy toilet NO PROBLEM. I expect accidents, but, I can honestly say I am pretty sure I can consider him PT
WAY TO GO BIG BUD!!!!!!
MORE "good" news. ok, it is both annoying, frustrating, dealt with sort of news. yrs ago I trashed my credit. was going to school, got a couple credit cards, got in a bit over my head. cleaned it up before I got married. so I thought. we went for the loan and DING! there was still one out there. I vaguely remember it. they didn't want to work with the credit counsel place. then they marked it as default, and were sold to someone else. oh fun. could'nt find them. no one had my information. YES I looked. and I looked all over! so I let it go. of course, FOUND the a$$ho!es when I tried to get a loan
and after 2 days of solid looking, with at least a starting point to jump off of. I found em. nope, nothing in the mail. nope, no phone calls (of course, they could have hit the online wall too, who knows). so I get them to offer me a settlement and they are SUPPOSED to mail it to me. it "went out" on the 8th. it still isn't here. so I call today, they can't send it to a third party :bs: :wtf: so I told them to send it to "my" fax and gave them the bank fax #. is where it is going anyway. was supposed to be sent "right now" and it wasn't. so I called back like 30+ mins later. pissy b!tch too. it should be sent today, if not I am calling back tomorrow. GEEZ, I am TRYING to send em money!! and, of course, I deal with it the same way I used too. I can't hardly sleep. Alex doesn't help. my stress levels etc are thru the roof. it SUCKS
BUT! it is all but dealt with. a bazillion phone calls later, I finally have the pertinent info, and think we are on the brink of it all being FINISHED. that is the good news. that and the bank is ready to go on the loan, AS SOON AS we have that fax!!
we are SUPPOSED to sign tomorrow and then we get on to new windows, addition, in ground sprinks, fences etc. NICE. hey, if we are going to be stuck here, may as well make it as good as we can, right? I want the ugs with the timers and EVERYTHING
oh yeah, gonna have to get a plan drawn up for Rainbird. get that ready to go
my list is growing, some days by the minute.
oh yeah, going to try to have a garage sale next weekend yeah, I know. that is STUPID. but I am trying. and if we can get enough $ together, Mom and I are taking the boys to Portland Via train to the zoo etc. haven't said a word to Brian. never mind I am pretty excited to be going too. he isn't the only one that loves train rides
anyway. one of these days I have to get my website up and going. really. really really. wish I could hire it out, but.....I would'nt know where to start. any one know of someone? I have a godaddy account I never activated, but paid for. need to work on that. guess THAT is where I start? ah well. I have too much to do to even consider tackling it. I am so stressed out already, I am not even really working on jewelry. or quilting. or even gardening much. I need to do something. was going to do the tanning thing tonight, but got roped into hostessing chat tonight. I need to avoid Jules. think she knows that! next I will be writing another article
BUT FIRST, I need to get more organized. hey, at least I don't have to be dressed or do my hair to chat! hehehehe, I probably won't make much sense either
I need a nap. I can have a wishful thought or two.