things are brewing. could be some changes coming up, but I can discuss them until they are either accepted or denied. it's making me terribly anxious, Mark too.
on the up side, we had a date on Saturday. we have been goign at each other more then not (fighting) since well before Christmas. neither one of us communicates very well, but we had a pretty good time Saturday. Sunday we get the boys down and he gets downright frisky. I was a little surprised, but we were w/o anything to fool around on. the floor did just fine and neither of us had rug burns
anyway, he took Monday off and we went to Yakima and had lunch. Brian stayed with the girls in Prosser (our sitters ) and Alex went with us. we walked around a lil, looked at some furniture, found......NOTHING. disappointing *sigh*
so anyway, it is late, I need to shower, but I wanted to journal really quick. Alex has been mega cling too lately, altho he will play now with Brian. they do fight but THANKFULLY I get way more play then fighting and wailing/ yes, Brian, the oldest, makes the most noise. this after he clobered his brother with one of the train remotes. clocked him on the forehead really good. bled too, freaked Mark out a lil. he lost them for about a week, so now instead of retaliating he WAILS. oh joy. ah well, Alex didn't like me putting htem away either it worked!
oh yeah. head cold or allergies. betting the latter, could be either. we weren't lucky enough to "loose" our neighbors (they tried to sell their house for WAY too much). and they are burning all sorts of crap in the wood stove. even I am allergic to soem of it. irritating, but.......I can always burn tumbleweeds to irritate the crap out of her right? *evil laugh*
OH YEAH, quick note, Yvonne and Glenn came over on Sunday for dinner. Yvonne and I sat down at the table in the addition and WORKED on jewlery. we had a BALL! I love working out there. it was nice and sunny, well lit and comfortable! WOOHOO, I really liked it!
that's it. I am shaving both girls again. I do'nt care if they look "better" with all that long fur, it is EVERYWHERE and I have had MORE then enough! YUCK. never mind it was like day before yesterday we vacuumed, the piles on the floor are about to come alive
ok, from my cryptic msg earlier. Mark officially resigned from GForce effective later this month and has taken a position with another company. same pay, probably slightly better benefits, but WAY more vacation time
and as he was trying to figure out what all was going on, which way to go, we started finding out GForce isn't doing so well. it's pretty sad really. they had so much potential. guess one of the owners is really screwing up everything else. nothing we can do about it, but it is becoming aparent we are leaving a sinking ship in the nick of time.
so, basically nothing changes other then we get paid every 2 weeks instead on given days and he will have VACATION available! I am SO excited about that part!
and we had a pretty good game tonight. DANG it was BRUTAL. we went at Everett with a vengence and won. never mind there was a TON of head hunting going on, both teams played pretty darn good.
ah yes. and just when I think I have left the drama behind (a reason I am not here like I used to be) I find myself in it up to my neck on my bead board. NICE! guess I am looking for yet another "home". am on a couple yahoo mom's groups, should be interesting. will really miss bam, but I don't think it'll work out at all. Drama is NOT something I like dealing with.
another fun fact: what happens when you don't get sleep and you are fighting off a sinus infection? you get DOUBLE WHAMMIED by catching it good AND getting a nice double ear infection. nice, eh? and those horse pills wipe me OUT. ICK. Alex has the ear infection too. betting Brian might get it as he is starting to show signs of the upper respiratory issues. am feeling rather nasty until the advil kicks in. not good, been taking quite a bit lately.
I hate pills. got a new one for my now high bp too. and starting to loose wt, but OH so slowly. dang I hate that too. I want to wake up TOMORROW and be 50 lbs lighter. wouldn't that be NICE? WELL, I guess it took me awhile to get this fat, it'll take me awhle to loose it.
well, at 2 am, I am starting to feel A LITTLE tired. I should grab a touch of yogurt and go to bed. been running for the bathroom for the last hr. dang, dinner went STRAIGHT thru with the amoxy on board. peachy. hey, at least it isn't the walking pneumonia, RIGHT?
this is f'ing pathetic. I find that when Mark went to order the bunk beds he ordered he put it on the d@mn Gold card. NOT the no interest no payments until (1 or 2 yrs). what an f'ing idiot. of course, I NEVER said anything. we NEVER talked about it. we NEVER do. ARG :blowup4:
I am so pissed I can hardly see straight. going to make him cancel the order. what bs. we need that f'ing dresser. never mind I am ITCHING to evict the lil bugger from our room. NEVER MIND he is sabotaging me every time I turn around
oh yeah, and the beading group I started. yeah
just what I need
just what I f'ing need
I give up. I need a drink
several might help
I don't even want dinner right now and I am so pissed off it hurts. never mind it doesn't matter how I feel. he knows he can go to hell
if he doesn't I can always remind him shortly
and of course I am on HIS puter because MINE is screwed. I am SO sick of this.
I have no idea if anyone is still reading this, but it looks like things are changing. if you still want access I need to post a list of persons that want to continue getting in. please LMK if you want to continue reading my occasional drivel. not sure, thinking maybe I should go back the general journals? who knows
will update soon. have plenty to say, just rarely time to say it, kwim?
it has been ages since I have updated, but......here goes:
Mark and I are getting really good at fighting with one another. it isn't good. current one has NOTHING to do with hormones, and it is going 4 days later. he was feeling stressed out and thought I would make a great target of opportunity. I think he is changing his mind, he doesn't like his results.
but we are also getting things done. since he has decided to be 'the man' I decided to be 'the woman'. I no longer go under the house to fix pipes. he can do heavy lifting as well, and he doesn't get sympathy when he is sore afterwards. I don't, why on earth should he?!?!?!?! but he did get the remainder of the pipes under the house fixed. the only grey sh!t left under the house is some SMALL amounts left in the master bathroom. Mark said since we were going to gut the bathroom anyway.......I was like, oh, so now we are?? THIS IS NEWS! anyway, this all spring from a leaking pipe under the house. it heaved the floor in the new part of the kitchen into the bath. ya know, under my beautiful yr old linoleum. how depressing. we are going to have to totally redo the kitchen, and we are going to redo it in tile. another fight and we aren't doing the dining room now. I can't stand carpet in the dining room. LIGHT colored carpet to boot. what a pia with two sm boys. but, I also decreed that since it is HIS house, he will be heading down to Lukes to get the new tile. since I don't do anything right, I don't pick out tile. he thinks I am going to let it go. he thinks WRONG. everytime I suggest something he delights in telling me how wrong it was or how much he doesnt' like it or *whatever*. ok. works for me. don't ask for input, you won't like my answer
but, on a different note; been gardening as well! I actually have little tomatoes on my brandywine tomato! WOOHOO! I have SEVERAL tomato plants, some peppers and one zuccini (which I NEED to find a place for! I also have a couple of grape plants that actually made it, I should call around to the nurseries and see if I can get one or two more and we are finishing the windows, all except the 2 deep windows have casings on them, we are out of trim, so I need to go get that, if I call the nurseries first, I can hit Lowes on my way to one and the blackberries are going TOTALLY nuts NICE! and I have about 1 dozen walnuts on my walnut trees. this is their first producing year. WOW. fences are going up soon too so maybe sometime this summer I can have the sheep here too. I WANT a horse. ok, I want two. will see what I can do about that, not sure just yet.
oh yeah, and started on the garage. I need to have a garage sale, I have SO much stuff to get rid of. a little bouncy horse thing, a lil rocking horse thing. Mark got the bigger sprung one down for the boys and they LOVE that thing! CLOTHES. lots and lots of clothes. a few items from Idaho, some left overs from being single. too bad we can't get rid of some of Mark's left over sh!t. but it is too valuable ya know. stupid
oh yeah, and on a vain note. I am loosing wt! I have been tryign too for awhile, but now that I am totally off the shot, AND cutting back on intake, AND getting busy outside, last I checked I was down about 10 lbs!! if I can keep this up, I can loose enough to be visible by mid summer! WOW. I feel pretty good about it too.
and the boys. my lil boys. my babies are....GONE in their place are two handsome and rambunctious boys. just getting thru another growth spurt with Alex, and Brian is getting so smart! when he is in a good mood he can recognize all but a couple letters, and I am betting if we keep at it, he will be reading shortly! of course, when he isn't in a good mood, he doesn't recognize anything :sigh:
and Alex still doesn't like talking. he jabbers and we had a 'stuborn' contest this morning. he wanted out of the chair, I wanted him to say, 'Mama, up, down, OR please'. any one of them. 20+ mins later, he finally said Mama. lil scamp noise yes, words not so much. that's my boy. the two boys play now too. they also fight, but this is expected.
and Becky and family are down. they are raising support for Arctic Barnabas, Jonathan is to be Director of Maint if he can get the funding. if I remember correctly they are at 20%. they are heading down to CA for 6 weeks, they leave on Friday. my gut was right too, I shouldn't put this in writing but I am. she is about 8 weeks preg. she is scared to death too. she is rightfully scared to death. I would be too after 3 miscarriages. not sure when she is due to go on her heparin (sp?) but since they don't have health coverage out of AK she can't do anything. I have a good feeling about this one. just like I knew she was preg, I know this one will be ok. it is chanting in my head 'tell her it's ok, tell her it's ok'. no, not psychic. psychotic I am sure, but not psychic.
Thanks Grandma I hope I am right!
anyway, this is plenty long enough. plenty left to say, but nothing that can't wait. I need to do this more often, it can be cathartic!
oh yeah, how exciting is it that Jamie is pregnant?!?!?! I wish her all the luck with this pregnancy, and I pray everything is a-ok. and I agree, boy!
and Tif, I still see the lil dark haired girl for you. born of your heart.
my life, a roller coaster ride
Mark and I have been fighting more then not for the past month. it came to head about 2 weeks ago, I haven't been sleeping with him. not good, I know. but d@mn it, I am tired of being taken for granted, for being treated like I know nothing, that my opinions are a nuisance. I don't deal with that *shocked look*
he is officially not a G-Force employee anymore, he has switched jobs. benefits are going to be WORSE, not better. oh joy. I know he is stressing, but I am NOT a handy verbal punching bag. I need an apology. he!! hasn't frozen over so I don't expect to get one. ARG
oh a better note, even tho it is 2:30 (ish) I have been CREATIVE! will post pics later, but I have a friend with a shop and she wants me to send her some stuff. there will be about 4 of us all together with stuff there (she is the main one ) and we are ALL really excited for this opportunity. I feel rather blessed to be getting it too. she is a real sweetie.
and I did a stupid thing. been drinking a lil more, like when I was single. and I wanted a drink recipe, and since the only person I know that is good with drinks is the ex bf, I emailed him. feeling stupid about it. shouldn't have, but I did. ack
anyway, is time for a shower. will tell the gopher story first.........
I am touched. yeah, you read right. I AM TOUCHED. d@mn thing was in one of my raised beds and I was trying to set the trap. reach in to dig it out and the %^$%# THING TOUCHED ME!! OMG, I SCREAMED. Mark came running. seriously, I am not quiet at all. deafened it, and evidently the reverberation stunned it. I leaped back (oh say about 15 ft) and it ran out the hole (I said stunned, right?). back another couple feet and it is going to run. OH SH!T!!! so now I have to get over myself enough to grab the shovel. D@MN THAT MEANS GETTING CLOSER.......so I took a deep breath and brained him with the shovel. Mark got there just in time to save me and I handed him the trap (still clutched in my hand) and the shovel and said I couldn't trap any more gophers. I am serious. 9 or 10 hand washings later, and 2 tums, I was still shaking. don't ask me why, it's just a d@mn gopher. rodent. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW
so, needless to say, Mark is now the mighty hunter. he went and retrieved the other one in the trap I set, but I am serious, I can't do that again. give myself a heart attack. geez.
ok, off to wash my hands. I should use bleach. I hate rodents :P
so many things going on!! WOO!! ok, so.......first, HOUSTON, WE BOUGHT A HORSE!
dang, I really thought I had posted this? guess not! she is a BEAUTIFUL red/brown and white PAINT. YUP, APHA registered! great conformation, wonderful disposition, great color! in fact, altho he will likely never ride her, even Mark likes MY horse! WOWZA! and the boys like her too, love to go grab grass and throw it at the fence. is electric. Brian FINALLY learned not to touch it. I tried to keep him away, but he refuses to listen. at least he doesn't play with it or go near it! Alex is too small to reach the outside parts, and the split fences he can't reacy :whew: and then I went and found Indy, the stud I halter broke ages ago when he was first born! come next spring, we will see if Jazzy can have babies!! WOOHOO!!
so.......anyway......a month or more ago. ok, more....we discovered we had a water leak under my new $^*(P#@@!!! linoleum. yes, the damage was extreme, heaved the floor quite a bit and was going very soft very quickly. called Mark home from work, knowing what was in store for me. yup, he freaked. nope, nothing I can do about it. yup, that's pretty normal, and nope, I still don't like it! got past it tho. think (according ot my previous entry) that was May?
ok, so Mark's knee has been giving him more and more and more problems. yup, had to have surgery. nope, don't gotta like that either. yup, better get the floor done before cuz it will be that much longer before he can get down and finish. called the folks, amazingly enough, I got BOTH of them to come help ok, shock isn't enough to express, but hey, it was MUCH appreciated. replaced the subfloor. guess what? the linoleum came up fairly easily, but we had already picked out the tile! ARG! okokok, back to the story. subfloor was really bad, it had to be replaced, even some into the boys' room. mold everywhere too. nice, eh? but anyway, Dad helped and even irritated Mark a bit with his 'I don't have to listen' attitude. I will add here, yup, that made ME feel better. Mark actually said something to the effect that he should listen to ME because I did know a couple of things good news: when Dad did 'his thing', didn't pay attention, I wasn't the one bleeding (albeit a spot only). he was first and third time, and he got Mark with the drill (slight nick, but hey, at least it WASNT ME!). so Sat we mix up thinset and put the backer board down, and Sun/Mon we did tile. HOLY COW, seems I am getting really good at it! I need to take pics, altho I don't have them (SORRY!). I LOVE MY TILE! wow it looks FANFREAKINGTASTIC! is all done except trim work now. working on finding pieces to finish the cabinets etc. starting to look like I will be making them. the idiot we talked to isn't pony'ing up a price so I am so not holding my breath.
so, back on track. OH LOOK A CHICKEN!! Thursday noonish Mark went in for orthoscopic surgery. man that scares the caacaa out of me every time. he did fine, and is recovering quickly. still glad we didn't wait for him to heal, but still......I guess I haven't been hormonal cuz I am just so thankful he 'didn't go to the light'. he keeps telling me there wasn't a light. maybe I should tell him that wasn't a good thing? naw. seriously. kept me up a couple nights, and I wake up to check his breathing more now (until last night when I totally passed out!). am glad that is over. I told him both knees are done, he is forbidden to have any more surgeries ever. he laughed at me.
he really didn't have to go THAT far!
anyhoots. garden is starting to pump out produce. plenty of tomatoes, some peppers, onions, sugar peas. think I killed the zuccini. that's what happens when ya don't plant it *SIGH*
anyway. AF reared her ugly head this mornig. just now getting crampy. no mess, so I am imagining tomorrow I will be excessively pained and irritatingly messy. should be fun. nice.
so now I get to figure out what my next project is. ok, other then fixing the mower before Mark gets to it. only cuz it will require him to be on his knee, don't want that! need to get back to sprinklers, put grass see down, finish cross fencing, finish trim, make or find cabinets, finish trim in addition. oh yeah, motivate or help Mark finish the windows. which, btw, are about 80% there. close, but NO cigar buddy!
and.........on a sad note. Becky, my sister, lost her baby. was between 13-15 weeks. this is her 4th loss, second since Alyson, her youngest. she is handling this better then last time, or so she says. I know she is hurting. I know there isn't anything I can do for her but pray. they are getting their support raised for Arctic Barnabas a little at a time, but still. how heart wrenching. they were gone 2+ months and she gets home in time to find out the baby was gone. my heart is breaking for her. I won't have more, I was so hoping this one would make it.
I gotta go to bed. this isn't a good way to end, but it is how it is. will post about Spook later, but for now I am just too darn tired.