well, the trencher was down all of a day. I found Ditch Witch in Portland, and it GOT here the following day! it took maybe an hr to replace while Mom watched the boys. Mark kept Alex at bay while I finished digging late Tues night! of course, not until after the hydrolic pump sprung a seriously irritating leak. of course, only when you pitch the blade left or right to fill in the trenches. ACK. told Dad about it. he wasn't surprised. said I would help but not do, he said no sweat. SO! onwards. trenches are all filled. need to do a bit of tamping around the valves, but they are all RUNNING!
and more good news. FINALLY, good news. I really really have needed it. there is a show I am going to do in Puyallup. going to be 3 days, I might go alone. no clue if I can handle it, but we will see what I can talk Mark into ANYWAY, it is a Victorian thing. so, I need a costume. OH MAN that sounds like FUN! so I went to Joann's to pick out material (found pattern when I got a bridal order last weekend) and ended up being there a couple of hrs. found myself a gal that does phenom work. she is doing the corset, the dress, the jacket........the WHOLE thing! I am all sorts of excited! found some WONDERFUL material, can't wait to see how it all turns out
and the bridal order......WOW, a good challenge I get to make my first tiara, and I am seriously excited to see how it turns out. I have a host of ideas. I have the rest of her order finished. and as soon as I get her check, she can have what I have finished.
OH YEAH, and we are changing providers. to Clearwire. it looks like Red Cynders Designs is going to have a Web Presence SOON!
so. despite the anxiety of all I have to do, now that things are settling down, now that we are figuring out where to go next, things are going WELL. I have no idea why, and I know this too will come to an end and I get to deal with the sh!t soon enough. but HEY, for now I am going to enjoy it while I can!
oh yeah, have been making some more jewelry too. might have 2 classes coming up in Oct, and am excited to do them too! things MIGHT be turning around. Red Cynders Designs might actually turn solvent in a yr or so! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO
ya know, my ex bf gets under my skin. I dont' talk to him, haven't in awhile either. but I have been beating myself up for the stupidity of our relationship lately. I do this now and then. it was 5 or so yrs wasted. I can honestly say I remember VERY LITTLE of the 'good' parts. there is very little to remember. what the HE!! was I thinking??!?!?!? he was a really good friend before we screwed around, and that is gone. I just wanna thump him and tell him to grow up. not that he will. he is 40something now and God knows he STILL hasn't. so why the HE!! was I so stupid?!?!?!?!
ug! is going to be a long week
BUT, I do have a bit of news that is actually news! first, the good part: the barn is here! we need to put it up, but the parts are here except the new 4x4;s we need Jazzy will soon have a nice little barn to be offended by :rofl: yes, I know. she is a horse. they dont' LIKE barns generally! is ok. we are working on getting her a buddy
bad news: there won't be any sheep here. I was all but set on getting the sheep here and Mark said he doesn't want them here. we talked about the neighbors dogs, the coyotes, the work. he would rather have horses, and the dog issue.........well, let's just say there is likely a coydog and a hybrid. I have had a hybrid before, I know what will happen. it would be harder for me to have to put my sheep down after being chewed on then I want to have to deal with. and then it could cause SERIOUS issues with neighbors. yes, I would likely shoot any dog I catch chewing on my sheep. that would end all good relations with neighbors. and I would be angry enough. it is something I have done before. I had to shoot my own dog, and that kind of pain just isn't something I want to have to deal with ever ever again. I am all sorts of torn up over MY decision, but Mark is bending over backwards to accom more horses. he even said he MIGHT agree to ride in the future. right. pigs fly, but he is trying. he gets an A++ for just making the suggestion, he has been on a horse ONCE before (our honeymoon) so I know what it took to just MAKE the suggestion.
so I am thinking I MIGHT 'rescue' a slaughter horse. I am not sure. we will see. have a friend that wants me to work with hers. I won't do it. she has one gelding that I won't touch PERIOD. he bites and kicks and is generally worthless. can't have that around the kids. I KNOW 'Granny' has issues as well, and won't deal with her either. she is now saying no she doesn't, but I do NOT trust her. she has a 4 or 5 yr old 'filly' that I would loosely consider, but...........not if I have to pay for her, and not if I can't trust her around kids. I know she called just to see if I would do anything with any of them. I guess my answer was basically no. she never talks to me anyway. oh joy. just what I need. she has a EXTREMELY serious drinking problem. she walked away from most of our friendship because I won't deal with it. I feel for her kids. I know she has tons to deal with. I do worry about her, but I can't deal with the alcohol when it has lead to where it is.
oh yeah. my birthday is coming up. Friday. oh joy. Happy Birthday Grandma, I miss you.
and let's end on an UP note. I have a NICE bridal order I am finishing! and I joined themompack on yahoo. what a zoo! but it could really help for the bridal order I am making (all matching) 1 bridal choker, 1 mother's necklace, 1 tiara, 2 bracelets for the bridesmaids and a pr of earrings for the bride. all is done except the tiara, which is getting there. is my FIRST tiara, and I am really liking how it is turning out oh yeah, and there is a show in Puyallup I am going to do. the Victorian Country Christmas this is a make or break show. if it doesn't make it, at least in a small way, I am out of jewelry. however, between themompack, and the show, I am betting it COULD turn around. will see, I am getting excited. ok, having anxiety attacks too, but hey, I am good at that, right?
OH YEAH! and I have a period correct dressmaker that is going to make my Victorian dress too! she gets upset over things like zippers and buttons, as they are NOT period correct. she is a riot, and I am willing to give her carte blanch to make it how she likes. I can't WAIT to see how it turns out corset and all seriously, the corset isn't bad at all, esp if you don't lace that thing too tight. it actually gives seriously wonderful back support! no joke
now I gotta get serious about inventory. oh joy like I have so little to do, right :rofl:
we now have most of the barn put up. don't mind saying so, D@MN IT LOOKS GOOD! ok, so far
we have all the outside trim on the house. Mark has been busy, and it looks GREAT!
I now have a "third child" 4 days a week. an online friend needed a sitter, and altho it looks like it will be temporary, the boys have a ball with Lynea. and she is pretty easy to watch, so I can't complain! sides, it forces me to be more organized.
got the measurements for the Victorian dress too. I don't mind corsets, and yes I am going to wear one. I will be showing at the Victorian Country Christmas this year. if it doesn't make money at all, this will be the last of the jewelry business. at most it will mean a hobby. if I make $ at it this year, then it sticks. oh yeah, if I make enough, my goal is a kiln! would LOVE a laptop, but for now I am more interested in the kiln.
and Jazzy is deciding I am not so bad. she is becoming my buddy. never mind she STILL prefers Mark (that hu$$y)
so anyway. as a 'treat' for all our hard work (ok, it was ONLY a ton.5 of hay!) we are having pizza. am having all sorts of anxiety issues with costs (like hay and the dress) but it looks like we have it under control. AND, altho not in oodles and scads, but things are selling here and there. I have 2 shows in Nov. trying not to worry about it, but still.............ugh. and the VCC is going to be insane.
and the boys.......ugh. Alex is for sure 2. and yes, he definately is a TERRIBLE two. Brian was a total cake walk by comparison!! but he is just so darn cute and SO cuddly. NICE.
so anyway, Pizza guy is due here any second. better go check on things
things here are more insane. there was the incident at the game Weds, and Mark and I have some major issues. I DIDN'T have any panic attacks, but I have absolutely no idea why not. probably not a good idea to go there, so I am not.
and we have company coming today. need to get dinner figured out. Yvonne is coming over (with Glenn) and we are going to have dinner and then she and I are going to do beading. lil boys will likely pass out, big boys will either watch the boob tube or pass out too
now, if life could just go back to be boring. the decision has been made tho. if Victorian Country Christmas flops I am out of the jewelry business.
it has been eons since I last posted
VCC didn't flop, but it didn't do as well as we had hoped
I did meet one of my Beading Supply members. she and I hit it off very well. we will likely be doing more shows together
Mark doesn't want me out of the jewelry business, as it makes some vacations tax deductable
I think my resolution this yr is to do 5-6 shows, and I mean 'real' ones
we are going to change the way I display, the black cards don't do it!
I now play with fire, OOOOOOOO SWEET!!!
I am currently working on my website. I am going to find me a cliff soon. not sure who is going over, me, godaddy or my puter. egads!
Jazzy has a new buddy, her name is Kitty. she is registered APHA, red dun no color
We also got more hay. both were my Christmas present, it was very early
Brian was asked to take part in Advent (or whatever it was called). he is a natural on the stage. dang that boy is SOOOOOOO cute
now the not to nice part
I got a call I don't ever care to get again. seriously
Christmas Eve about 3-4 Mark came back from running errands WAY before they were done. He had the cell phone, Mom had called. Dad had a heart attack. yup, he spent Christmas in ICU. one of the best Christmas's I can remember, but only because Dad was still with us, albiet not in body. yes we spent part of Christmas in ICU.
and the rest of the not so great part:
we are also going to change our diet. not totally, but I can't afford to loose Mark either. scares me to death.
so, now that I have procrastinated, I NEED to get back to work on the website!
*sigh* figures, I go to do a quick journal and preg.org seems to be down. Oh joy. Gotta love it, I seem to be a curse *rolls eyes*
Anyway. Things here are going fairly well. Normal insanity I guess, not sure. We are making an offer on a house in a few days, and trying to get a few things done here to make listing this one possible if we need too. If it goes thru, fine. If not, well……it wasn’t meant to be. I really want it to happen, but it is already worrying Mark enough to give him indigestion. I don’t want that to escalate into an ulcer, and am worrying this is not the time to do it for that reason alone. Not sure he will ever be ready to move, but he is at least really thinking about it. if/when we make an offer and we are done haggling with offers I will list a link, but not until.
But I am not holding my breath. My biggest ‘worry’ right now is tomorrow night’s BIRTHDAY PARTY!! my bigger baby is turning 5 *SNIFF SNIFF* will see what is going on with the game tonight, he might get a visit from the bird the Ams are doing well, or at least were until the last 4 games. Will see how the Ams do tonight. It has been fun watching hockey, the team has really stepped up and is exciting to see what is coming up next
Back to the house thing. I have been stressing a little over Mark’s response lately. But I finally emailed him to let him know what is going on, and how I felt. We actually talked a little about it today after we went for a second look at the house. We emailed back and forth yesterday about thigns, and agreed to step up getting things done around here. Some days that man really surprises me. Others I still wanna strangle him, but we seem to fit more days then we don’t. I have so worked at not being totally hormonal, and on days I AM feeling totally hormonal, I warn him. Some days more nicely then others, but at least forewarned is forearmed, right? Life as always is a work in progress, and for once I feel like we are MAKING progress!
And speaking of progress, www.redcyndersdesign.com is up, albeit still in the designing stages! WOOHOO! I am pretty darn pleased about it too. Now I need to get some things finished around the house so I can get back to creating!! Am going to line up shows this year, and Mark is getting excited about it as well. He is talking about making jewelry boxes, and honestly, I think he was kidding, but I would LOVE!!! For him to do that! My beading group on yahoo is doing better as well, as we are doing a beady retreat in Portland in March WOOHOO! I am getting all sorts of excited about it as well. I CAN’T WAIT! Things are looking up slowly but surely. Will see how it goes from here!
UG. what a whirlwind. we just killed an entire forest making an offer on a house. if it falls thru, we are DONE with house hunting. on an up note, our house seems to be worth more then we expected....or so the realtory says. will see if we can sell it. the deal is contingent on the sale of this one. there are a couple of others, but nothing major/aka nothing we can't meet. in a way I want an answer already because I am tired of this game. we have been really (and very literally) slaving over getting things finished. I have built 2 cabinets, installed them. put the countertops on. new tile back splash (HOLY MOSES IT LOOKS FANFREAKINGTASTIC!!)(!!!!!!!)(!!!!!!! )( )
Mark has been working on trim; baseboards and around the doors. he helps with the bigger pieces to cut too (i before e, except after c ), and with the boys so I can work. nap time is generally my work time, altho today I am taking a bit of a break. just a bit. I deserve it! gotta go feed the girls shortly. I love my girls, I can't wait to get back on Jazzy!
now for the not so good news. I finally broke down and went in for my annual exam. ok, only 4 months late, but hey.......I went. nice. I am 37. getting up there. egads. the pap was clean. nothing unusual there at all. BUT, we also did the manual breast exam. yup, they found (I think) 1 or 2 'fiberous masses'. my first smashogram is on Friday. I talked to my sil (nurse) and she said if it did show up with nursing Alex (which is when I first found it) that it probably wasn't an issue, but to expect a biopsy to make sure if it does show up on the smash. I never really worried about it cuz when it did 'show up' I was lactating and it felt like the other 'lumps and bumps' I felt. midwife noticed it too, and the nurse in Nov 06, but neither time was it an issue because I WAS lactating. it just......never went down.
so. anyway. I am not sleeping. at least not well. am a bit irratable. I have baby fever pretty bad. is a down day and I am trying to focus on the house offer and what needs finishing. should see if we can do something soon as a family away from the house. but for right now..........all I can think about is the 'early' smash.
oh yeah, a quick up note. or a try anyway. my crocus are up I love this time of the year. maybe I should go outside and get myself some 'dirt therapy'.
isn't depression grand?
the house sold to someone else. they wouldn't take ANY contingents. there is NOTHING out there we are interested in buying. I am done. I am still looking at houses but that is only because I am a total sucker and our realtor basically pled for me to stick with it. I am PISSED OFF. I try not to be. I keep telling myself that it wasn't meant to be but I am not listening. Mark totally doesn't get it. at all. none of it. and if he doesn't STOP with the trying not to gloat and just STOP being so f'ing happy about it I SWEAR I will move out! WHY does he not get how much I HATE this f'ing house?
and yes, it gets better and better. we are also now having a huge battle with the neighbors from he!!. they have been pissy since day one. our intro to them was to ask them to stop dumping their ^%$#%^@ grass clippings on the lot when we bought it. it NEVER got better. I was raised to treat others like I want to be treated. evidently they go by the addage 'sh!t on thy neighbor'. I can go on and on about things we have done FOR them. I can mention they gave us water when our well went dry. I can also say we have more then paid them back a few dozen times over. the short version is we now have a south fence. it runs from one surveyers pin to the other. we were cleaning up THEIR tumbleweeds and they retaliated? FOR WHAT? so they can drive very wide and drive on OUR property? easement or not, I am not a target. EONS AGO they chose not too pay for the asphalt. on the DAY it showed up! it isn't OUR fault they bought a brand new car and went to the casino instead. hey, if that is where you spend your $ FINE, but it isn't MY problem!! at one point a couple yrs ago or so the b!tchy wife goes on and on about how her 'poor' hubby is too old and infirm to take care of the tumbleweeds. so the OTHER neighbors and Mark and I have been taking care of them. never mind she came out one day when we were burning OUR 'weeds on OUR property she comes out like some deamoness screaming every obscenity she can think of cuz the smoke is getting close to the car, house and motor home (AND she chain smokes, or did). never mind when this all started there were (I am not exagerating) a dozen or more dead downed trees in the yard. never mind it is a HAZAARD in a wind storm to be in the yard because of their still upright dead trees. never mind yrs ago the fat pervert used to sit on his porch with 'noculars and wait for a female to take a shower in the bath that faces his house. we put in a different window (at a much higher cost). never mind I can go on almost endlessly here. 2 other neighbors and I were out burning lots of tumbleweeds, half theirs. Mark helped off and on until nap time (then he was out full time). they come home and drive close to the burn pile we are standing over and THRU another one that is 4 ft from our driveway, 15+ ft IN on our property. just to be pissy. I just went inside and didn't say anything. Mark came out the next am to find that altho they can't be BOTHERED to clean up ANYTHING on their property, they can come out and rake the ashes up against our asphalt drive (I hope they weren't still hot!) and drive thru it! I saw red. I put up a couple of rr tie 'surveyer markers' and lined the property line with rr ties etc. they were out gambling (can we say gamlers anon?). came home and called the cops. he told them (and me) it was a civil matter and wasn't sure why they called. so they went to city hall. guess what they said? CIVIL MATTER! city refuses to do a thing about it so they complain about anything else they can. the city told me not to forget the no trespassing signs I hadn't thought of that! they couldn't win on anything and now we are also putting up a solid cedar fence. that way I don't have to even look at them.
and it gets BETTER! Mark went in for a colonoscopy. they found A LOT of polyps. so far I doubt anything is precancerous, but........that was on a Monday. Tues he went back to work. Weds at 4:30 am we pack up the boys and go to the ER cuz he is bleeding and passed out TWICE. so at 5 something I get to call my Mom to come get the boys. sweet. I made him take 3 days off and I got nothing but grief about the whole thing (tough, I told him at one point if he had to go again he went alone, I could'nt handle that again). it has made getting his check interesting. we got part but because he wasn't cleared for 'work' more then half was not in the direct deposit. so today he gets to go get the rest. nice.
AND! AAAAAARG! I have been trying to work with Kitty for awhile. I WANT to ride her. I WANT to keep her. she has nice confirmation. she has a beautiful gate. she has filled out and is now being B!TCHY! she took up kicking now too. and she goes after Jazzy with a passion. as of Friday she took a pot shot at MARK! oh yeah. just what I want. the nieghbor (used to be a trainer) has her now. but I am so disgusted right now, I am ready to get rid of her. she doesn't even like to put up with being brushed or combed!
aha. a week before the colonoscopy I went in for an annual exam. nothing on the pap, but VOILA! lumpy right breast. nice, eh? so for a week I freaked out until the mamogram. I am thirty freaking SEVEN! it turns out that one or two of the milk ducts never 'went away' cuz they didn'te even show in the scan. but still. this year sucks. I want it OVER. or at least a do over. UG!
well, now that Mark and I have had one hell of a knock down drag out fight, I am back to sleeping in the other room. peachy.
and Kitty is out at the barn on the flood plain (yeah, that sounds bad, but really it ISN'T a problem and NOT underwater!). the neighbor is going to work with her, will see. I MIGHT have her sold, not sure, and certainly not going to 'give' her away. not going to worry about it at all. AND I just found she has Poco in her! on both sides (but WAAAAAAAAY back!) HOLY SH!T!!! am second guessing selling her now. I want to breed her first I think. a Poco! WOW! AND Jazzy has King in her back ground! WOOHOO!
okok. call me crazy, but that is the line I want! now I feel all sorts of silly. need advil for the headache soon, but DANG now I am all sorts of goofy!