Thread: the Sleepy Sheepless Shepard

that's it, I should just shoot one of us and get it over with...it certainly would be so much easier than this on again off again war...and war it is, man is getting brutal too...I got married FOR THIS?!?!?!?!

I DON'T THINK SO!

and I can't help but feel this has something to do with my weird "conversation" last night....day-yam! I don't go postal all over him when he talks to his ex...even when I think he is just trying to hang on to his past! AND I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM CONTACTING ME! I was pretty weirded out and now I think maybe I SHOULDN'T have told him! love and trust my ***...and that includes ALL the back *** acreage too!

of course I am not "cleaning" enough...he knows where he can go with that, I told him he says he always has to clean up after me, HOW ABOUT HIM! damn whisker hair all over the bathroom, clothes on the floor...EXCUSE ME, if you ARE going to wear them later, pick them up, and NO that doesn't mean wad them up and throw them in the closet! how about the bed, how f'ing DIFFICULT is it to MAKE THE BED! and doing laundry, pay attention, is that so much to ask? see if there are stains on it! and doing laundry DOESN'T MAKE YOU A SAINT! NEITHER DOES CLEANING THE DAMN KITCHEN!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG

now back to the normally scheduled boring, driving me crazy life...cleaning house WITH a now toddling toddler attached to the leg....UG!

OH GOD I HATE THIS HOUSE, please wait til I get my pets out and BURN IT DOWN TO THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and Brian's baby pics...I don't want to lost those

oh yeah, and my new sewing maching that Mark knows nothing about have I mentioned that? a neat lil embroidery one from Walmart...brothers, clearance, something I can download stuff for...can't get it out yet, he might see it not that he is going to make me take it back, but he might try and we don't want that!!

FLAME ON BABY FLAME ON!!

ever heard of the expression of spitting in the wind? is blowing outside...not too bad (so far only 10-15 with 30 mph gusts) at least not yet, but I had quite a few things I wanted to do today cuz it is supposed to be warm...yuck, guess it is warm cuz of the wind, why can't it FEEL warm too?? I know I know whine whine...I hate winter already, I am ready for my bulbs to spring, to be able to go outside and dig my corner fence posts in and get started on my pasture and this years' gonna be gigantic garden (I have like 1/4 ac or more if I WANT to do it)

and I think we have discovered the cause of our fights...drum roll....STRESS...Mark is so overwhelmed at work and so tired of working 60+ hrs a week, and I am so tired of being here alone (or just alone) and neither of us is sleeping well and making BOTH of us tired and grumpy...not a good combination and we are trying to just get thru Feb, which is when this big proposal thing is all supposed to be finished....he is still learning and he isn't sure of himself and he hates that....learning fast tho....

and with that I need to get back to my son, who is currently in the hobby room which is a def nono...he is pushing around the girl's food bowl, and they need to go outside anyway...I need to get with life today no matter how uninterested I am in today itself, wind and all

well, I would love to say nothing is new, but.....here a bit ago I had some spotting...ok, maybe not really even spotting, and it was old, nothing red, all brown (hey, this IS my journal, sorry if it is tmi), but it was there...oh yeah, so run out and test, right? *sigh* I did...no, I am not...BUT, today, run to the potty and OMG there is TONS of cm (that is what that is, right?) and it is gooey, stringy...and I STILL feel gooey (yuck, really)...yeah, we were fooling around a LITTLE this morning, but didn't finish (don't ask) but we WILL tonight! man oh man but we DID have some FABULOUS sex on Sun...I was starting to think it wouldn't ever go back to that good...it has been good, but WE ARE TALKING FABULOUS HERE! oh man, talk about peeling me off the ceiling

hey, maybe I can join Kym in the Jan preg column...wouldn't that be fun??? altho I am not sure she wants to hear about it, I don't actually get sick, I just don't eat much...but who knows, maybe with A LITTLE GIRL I will!! (still thinking pink)

on the other hand, I had a dream Sun or Mon night...I dreamed about another lil red headed boy....altho this one looked more like my sister, not quite as much hair either.....she did loose her baby at about 9 weeks...she is dealing with it I guess, I am worried about it, but she says she is....how on earth do you DEAL with THAT? so now my question is who's child did I dream about? and he was all bundled up real warm too, like it was winter, and with her being in AK, is hard to tell...it was SO vivid! yeah yeah, I took another test, it came up neg too....just checking....hey, if I can't spend the $$ we have, WHAT GOOD IS IT DOING US???

well, my lil mooseling is shaking his crib...is about time he got up....is lambing season and Mom has her hands full....so I get to go back down AGAIN and help her out...damn but the crazy lamb lady wants some bummers (that would be me!)....went and held hers and I WANT SOME!!!

ok, gotta go rescue him...he is makign happy sounds and if I wait for him to complain I will pay for it!

Originally Posted by Ghostess

hey, maybe I can join Kym in the Jan preg column...wouldn't that be fun??? altho I am not sure she wants to hear about it, I don't actually get sick, I just don't eat much...but who knows, maybe with A LITTLE GIRL I will!! (still thinking pink)

Why wouldn't I want to hear about it? I'll keep my fingers crossed, I need some company on the Jan. board! Not liking the fact that you don't get sick! I am majorly jealous! I still feel like crap!

OMG! I am a BIG idiot! I really didn't mean to post that in YOUR journal! Not sure what to do!

I AM SOOOO SORRY!

and here I thought I was going to have to be postal on someone!!! silly silly Kym! are you having a major blonde moment??

*sigh* I hate Mark's job...I really do...first they tell us we ARE headed to ID, which, face it, I don't want to do anyway...so he is making preparations, I am looking at the post falls paper for apts, making arrangements for a house/pet sitter, and he tells one of his contract contacts and BAM, she in turn talks to his boss, who FLIPS OUT...what an ***...I don't care for him (greasy lil bugger)...he would make a good car salesman, beef things up on one hand, stab ya in the back with the other...so he is in ID and calls the other owner (there are 5 I think) and Mark can hear him on the phone, he is that pissed off...Mark was like WHAT DID I DO? he was tryin to get things taken care of and then it was like "well why did you tell her, it is only a bid?"

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? they TOLD Mark he WAS GOING to ID! there was NO mention of a maybe, we were TOLD to pack up and go on March 1, not you MIGHT be going....welcome to the private sector...

so anyway, I got some curtains made for Brian's room...oh man I haven't done that bad a sewing job in ages, but it works....they are at least done (I guess)...won't be telling anyone WHO made them either! but they are lined too and that is a great thing....was a very bad girl today between ebay and Walmart....did get some snoopy fabric today to make a twin comforter (really cute too!)....still have some sewing to do but is all doable and I will get the curtains hung as soon as I find the hardward to hang it with

forgot THAT at Walmart...sheesh

and feeling off...I want to say I am preg, but it is too early to test by about a week (I think), but still....had a baby dream already, think I mentioned that (or tried too earlier, I lost a good post earlier)...THINK it was a he...most likely I am developing a head cold, peachy! headache, drip, cough, upset tummy (from drip)

speaking of he, HE is up....been quite a grump today...so far he has 5 teeth, the other front one is all but in, got some premolars coming in, not gonna put MY fingers in there to find out....tickling works better for a quick peek! looks like 3-5 more are coming in...why can't they COME IN ALREADY!!

hm......he is quiet....false alarm.....so anyway, was packing up to get Brian etc in the house and found A FLOWER!!!! a yellow one, OMG!!! A FLOWER!!!!! think is a crocus....altho I don't remember BUYING those, that doesn't mean I didn't, I got more than plenty coming up! is 50 deg outside today and sunshine....got the roundup on some of the grass, will see if it works (it says 60, but if I remember, it just takes longer if less then 60 and it isn't supposed to freeze tonight)...grass is growing like crazy already and I would say we need to start mowing before March is done...got the buds on some of the shrubs swelling too....OH MAN, I LOVE LOVE LOVE SPRING!

ok, got another complaint, don't want him good and pissed before I get him up....will peek first to see if he really needs "rescuing"

he did, and man has he been grumpy today...SHEESH, even Daddy doesn't want to put up with it and he got an extra nap, which, btw, did NOTHING to improve ANYTHING

finally got him to eat some dinner at 8...found the brackets to hang the curtains, played in the grass and talked to the neighbor til Daddy got home...then he got grumpy again, I hung his curtains...they need more work

*sigh* I used to be pretty good at this sort of thing...guess I just have toooooo much help

well, IF this is the month I get preg, I certainly am ready for it now! I WANT ANOTHER BABY!!! and now I am really sure and, according to the preg.org calander we did just about everything right IF I am cycling...not only did we bd on Valentines, we did it twice! (just to make sure...NOT) and OMG talk about mind blowing and here I had been worried I couldn't do that anymore...not that Mark hasn't been trying his best, but my bod just hasn't been able to "hit that high note"...boy has it been tho, starting about the 6th

*whew* talk about peeling me off the ceiling...

man am I getting impatient (ok, I am anyway)...it is WAY too early to test, even with the ultra early test and I am fighting off jumping the gun...which I want to do sooooooo bad....sheesh

and this head cold...man I so hate head colds...starting to cough now too...YUCK