Thread: So many emotions...no longer my own

OK, I could go more in depth with what I want to say, but I'll leave it at this: I can't stand some of my IL's! (Not MY family either, (neither of my SIL's), so those who know me can figure this one out!)

Dh and I got a swing for L yesterday. YAY! She SO enjoys being in it, it's such a lifesaver. I actually got some cleaning done this morning while DH was out changing the oil in our cars. I didn't get enough cleaning done, but that's b/c DH wasn't in here to help. He SAID he would help me clean, but my Sonata took longer than he thought, I guess. Oh well, no biggie, I have all day tomorrow.

Was asked today by my BIL if we were going to have a baby shower for L. I had one last weekend for my side of the family, but didn't invite them. Didn't think anything of it since it was MY family putting it on. Guess I should have invited them, but DH and I plan on having a "Meet the Baby" party sometime after Easter. Hope that pleases them.

We're finally back! Went to Chicago for DH's work last week and actually enjoyed being out of the area/state a LOT! L decided to start feeding every 90 minutes to 2 hours, so I've put in a call to the LC and her Ped to get some idea on whether or not it's a growth spurt or just her/me. The LC said my BC (Depo shot) shouldn't have had any impact on her (or my milk supply) but it could have just been a combination of the trip and her growth spurt. I'm so bummed though, I can't pump worth a darn right now. She's NEEDING to eat on both sides to get full, so pumping has decreased to 1 ounce here and there. UGH!

Her darn Ped needs to call back, this is nuts. It's already been a half hour, what if this had been an emergency!?! I know a bunch of people probably called in, being it's a Monday morning, but COME ON! I think I'm going to rent a hospital grade pump for a month. I need to get my supply back up and pumping after she eats may be the only way to do it. Wish me luck!

Whoa, it's been quite awhile since I last journaled. I ended up renting a hospital pump and also starteddd drinking Mother's Milk tea and taking Fenugreek, along with eating oatmeal once a day and upping my water intake immensely. Everything has since gone back to "normal" and I've even been able to put more milk in storage than I usually did before, so I'm excited.

I also found out just this week that my insurance covers 90% of the Medela Pump in Style Original and I could upgrade to the PIS Advance as long as I paid the difference. No big whoop to me! So I ended up getting the PIS Advance for $75. YAY!!

DH made up for a not-so-fun Mother's Day last week. I didn't get a card from my baby girl (Which I really wanted- didn't need a gift from either one, just wanted a card) and we had Baptism from HE## so it was pretty rough around here. He did go out and buy printer ink though this week and actually MADE me a card and personalized it too from the baby. He didn't sign it, so we borrowed Maddy's idea from my birth board and inked her foot and pressed it on the bottom. SO cute! Now I have a footprint of hers and we'll keep doing this for every major event with cards involved. It's so fun to watch her wiggle her toes in the ink.

I had a bad first couple days this week. It was just NOT my week and I didn't know why. I tossed her/my FAVORITE pink sleeper in the wash with a loads of semi-darks (that had been washed with a pair of red undies before, so I knew they were OK) but then forgot that I had put in there 2 other shirts that I had gotten from my mom that were old ones from when I was in HS. GRR, they must not have been washed enough, b/c they bled onto JUST the onesie. Not my fav pink sleeper of her has blue spots on it. GRR!! My DH didn't understand why it bothered me so much, but he went and tried to get the color out and washed it again. Such a nice DH...trying to fix my crappy week.

But onto the newest news...we're heading back to Chicago. We leave today, sometime after noon when we're all ready. L slept thru the night again (First time was last Wednesday, the night of May 17th) and she's sleeping yet again after her morning feeding, so I think Grandma wore her out last night. We had gone to the races and my mom took her to a graduation for our distant cousin and by the way mom said it, I think she got passed around quite a bit. She did cry a little though, made me sad when I called the check on her and she was crying in the background. She missed her mommy!!

Oh, and she rolled over for the first time too since I last posted. She did that on Friday night, May 12th, after we got home from having dinner with my parents. We had her on the floor on her tummy and all of a sudden she just got half of her boddy over, then wiggled for a minute, then went all the way over. I think she scared herself b/c she started to whimper, but then calmed down. She's since done it for my parents and grandparents as well as our friend Anna. YAY, my baby rolls- YIKES!

Well, off to get something done before we leave. I want to look through my PIS Advance stuff so I can pack it along too. Plus, DH wants to get the rest of the garden in before we go, so this may be a challenge today.

Crappy day, crappy week, crappy month!!

Just got home from my parents house and DH says we can't go to DQ with them b/c we have to make a mortgage payment later tonight. WTF?!? I hate talking about money...why does he have to scare me with this? I know we need money, but I didn't think it was this bad. I think he should talk to his boss about getting a raise. He will have been there a year on Wednesday so I think it's about time. He's one of the top mechanics and he's getting paid crap. OK, enough rambling, it's just not been a good day.

It is so fun to read on the board how other babies are growing and doing things. I enjoy hearing how other's babies are...but I love to compare Lily to them. We had a thread that talked about how baby is copying us...well L is copying me and my DH like crazy! It's like she's a little sponge, b/c there are days when she will just sit on my lap watching my face and mouth for movements. Then she'll watch us, how we act, then will do the same thing.

So I better write it here before I forget it all. Lily has said "mama" already. I am going to put it down as Wednesday, July 26th since that was the day DH was home sick and we know we heard it that day. WOW! My little stinker is really learning- DH always tells her to say mama when she's hungry.

And she stands up too! She hates sitting with help, if your fingers are there then she'll want to stand. She's even taking steps when she wants to get places now. Before it was just when daddy had her and she was hungry and I was across the livingroom, now it's whenever she wants to go somewhere.

Her rolling is crazy too! She hasn't quite mastered the art of getting her bum and her head off the ground at the same time yet, but she's rolling to get places. If I put her down on the blanket, she'll be off the blanket and into something she can't have as soon as I turn my back. She even got "in trouble" yesterday when she was playing with the vent on the floor. We said "No touch" three times, then she got the firm "NO" and was moved away from it. Ha...2 minutes later she was right back to it, so we just got up and left for the Fish Fry.

I was supposed to have Drea today, but Anna called awhile ago and said they had water in their basement from the AC unit, so she wouldn't be bringing Drea over. Bummer! When you plan for that stuff, it's kinda hard not to get bummed when the plans change.

Well, off to bed again, since I have plenty of time to catch up on my lost sleep. Yay...more time with Lily when she's not mobile!!

OK, so it's been awhile since I last posted in my journal. It's been a crazy and frustrating last month. DH has grown to hate his job...again...so that's made it all the more "FUN" to be at home. He hates working more hours for less money than he was getting before, so I know that's causing all the stress...plus not being home with his daughter. His boss is supposedly a "family man" but doesn't act like it. DH is going to ask him for 1 afternoon a month off. He already has to work a half day on Saturdays, which is more than he was working before. Hopefully this family man boss of his OK's this, or DH said he'd start looking for a new job.

The other big news...DH and I had a preggo scare. I call it a scare b/c we aren't ready for another one...not yet. I didn't get another dose of the Depo shot at the end of July when I was due. DH and I hadn't been preventing b/c of the BF'ing and b/c I didn't really think I could get preggo that fast after getting off the shot. Well, I started feeling like crap 2 weeks ago, just tired, cranky, etc. My OB had me get a blood test to check my iron and metabolism...both can get wacky after a baby, I guess. Both came back negative/normal/OK. So...I took a preggo test and it came back negative too. OK....so I am still at a loss...nothing "wrong" with me, not preggo, just simple spotting- nothing really major like it normally was. So I went on vacation with Dh and Lily, no answers, still tired all the time, just plain nasty.

I talked to a friend who thought I could have had a false negative. THANKS, that's JUST what I wanted to hear. I want to get another preggo test this week, but this morning when I went to the bathroom I noticed more blood than before. (Sorry, TMI) My back is killing me and I'm even more tired today than before, so I'm just hoping it's all the PMS symptoms coming back to haunt me. I used to be a horrible b*tch when I was PMS'ing, looks like I'll return to that now.

Even bigger BOO today is that DH went back to work. We've had him home for 10 days and it was heaven. At least he could help out with Lily. I didn't have to be with her constantly (although I was usually) and he could watch her and take care of her too. She turned into a Daddy's Girl while we were on vacay and even worse when we got home. Today is a BEARCAT day...all she wants is her daddy. The cold she's got, her hurting teeth, and the annoying shots pain is enough to top off the "I want my daddy" crying! She wants to be held, but when she realizes it's me, she's even more po'ed.

Oh yay...the queen is calling. Only 4 more hours till DH comes home...can I last...hopefully!

Wow, almost a month since my last post. What's been going on...hmmm, lots I guess.

I took another preggo test about a week after my last post. Again it was negative. Thank goodness! I was going crazy with worry, until the test came back neg. Now I'm figuring it was all hormones doubled up with starting L on cereal and possibly getting my period back. No more spotting after she went back to eating more often.

I had a birthday on Sept 20th...now I'm the big 24. Whoop-de-do! DH bought me roses, the hard-floor attachment to my steam cleaner (Very romantic- HA!), a snowman wooden thingy for the entryway, and Lily's birth stone in a necklace! YAY!! I got jewelry!!!! Now I have to figure out what he wants for his birthday...which is Monday.

Oops, ran out of time again!

I'm not ready for L to grow up. She's already pulling herself up on things. NO!!

My GOSH is time flying with Lily! It seems like every day she is doing something different. She started 4 legged crawling around 7 1/2 months and started pulling herself up around that time too. OMG! She is such a sponge too! DH and I sing "I love you yeah yeah yeah" to her daily and she just watches our mouths. A month or so ago she actually started to make the same sounds and now she'll attempt to sing it back when we're done. Her kisses are SO cute, they're open mouth back and forth kisses across your cheek, but now she's attempting open mouth on-your-lips kisses too. Is she picking up how DH and I kiss? (Not always open mouth though )

I think she's getting her 3rd tooth too. She has been ultra crabby lately and just yesterday she let me look in her mouth. On top I saw a white spot with the black-ish line in the center, so that means another is on the way. THANK GOODNESS! Maybe she'll go back to sleeping through the night since we've been trying to let her CIO.

Last night she ate off me and then had almost 4 ounces of a bottle around 9, but was awake till 10, so I stuck her in the crib and let her cry. Took her about a half hour with DH checking on her every couple minutes. We just needed to sleep since we've both been running on empty since we can remember. He won't let her go to my parents to stay b/c "WE made her, she's OUR responsibility". I get his reasoning, but DANG, I Need a break! SO...we started letting her CIO and she's down from 3-4 waking periods at night to just 1 the past few nights. She's also getting up at 6:30 and that's not cool with me, so this morning I stuck her back in her crib when she woke up. DH will sometimes take her when he gets up so then she's awake, but that's what usually gets her up and keeps her awake. Today I just fed her and then held to get her semi-sleepy again, then put her back in her crib and let her cry. Ended up taking less than 5 minutes this time.

OK, enough babbling, she's sleeping so I should be too. I've got to write more later, there's so much to get out but not enough time to do it.

SERIOUSLY SHUT UP!!!!!

OMG, there is one woman on prg.org that just won't shut up! It's driving me insane! All she does is post stupid crap, posts pics all the time, or just bi*ches about the dumbest crap! SHUT UP, WOULD YOU!!! I can't get over it, it's like salt in a wound. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, enough negative crap, on to the good stuff. 3 of my friends who've had babies around the time that Lily was born are getting together tomorrow night. I've volunteered to bring apple dip and bread and cheese. I'm also bringing a bottle of wine, but only 2 of us are the real wine drinkers, and even we don't go all out wine-o. It should be fun though, since we're getting our pics back from our kids' photo shoot 2 weeks ago. They all wore long-sleeved white onesies and denim overalls, barefoot. They turned out SOOO good, I'm anxious to get them back.

Lily has learned to clap or patty cake this weekend. We were at a friend's b-day party and the friend said "Yay Lily" and clapped, then Lily clapped too! She hasn't stopped clapping since, I'm so excited and happy for her. She also said "Uh oh" last night too. She was walking from my computer to the bathroom and dropped something, so I said Uh Oh. I took a drink of my OJ and she says "Uh Oh" in the CUTEST little voice. It warmed my heart, but almost made me chuck my juice thru my nose.

Oops, she wants me. More later!