Any kid who goes through surgery and does well afterwards, you are all my heroes. All the mamas who miss out on sleep just taking care of their little ones, you are all my heroes.
We just spend four long days in the hospital. We have so much to be thankful to God for throughout this week. First, Nate's surgery turned from 5 hours into 7 hours. The docs were only going to remove one hemivertibrae, but then went in and discovered the second hemivertibrae was affecting the bend in his spine as well. So he ended up with 2 rods and four pins along his spine, but his back looks so much flatter. And the docs said that they saw immediate spinal cord functionality improvement. They hadn't realized how much his curvature was pressing on his spinal cord. So we know this surgery was God's perfect timing even though it wasn't mine.
I spent that first evening really praying Psalm 91 over him, asking God to keep Nate in His perfect peace. God did exactly that. The nurses kept remarking what a great patient Nate was, because usually, they have kids with spinal fusions screaming their heads off. Nate barely whimpered except to snuggle with me.
And then last night, as though a switch turned on, Nate was himself. He was talking, and happy, and smiling... and walking. By this morning, he was pulling himself up onto his knees and asking to get down to play with toys. Granted, he is still weak when it comes to holding his head up and walking, but my baby is going to be okay. And it's to God we give all the glory and honor because He has kept me calm. He has healed my little one in ways I didn't expect. I continue to expect a great report of the Lord as he heals over the next few months also.
<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="301px" height="326px" id="InsertWidget_afb6b5d5-9f90-4a54-b42e-fad3f8968a52" align="middle"><param name="movie" value="http://www.widgetserver.com/syndication/flash/wrapper/InsertWidget.swf"/><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><param name="flashvars" value="r=2&appId=afb6b5d5-9f90-4a54-b42e-fad3f8968a52" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /> <embed src="http://www.widgetserver.com/syndication/flash/wrapper/InsertWidget.swf" name="InsertWidget_afb6b5d5-9f90-4a54-b42e-fad3f8968a52" width="301px" height="326px" quality="high" menu="false" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" flashvars="r=2&appId=afb6b5d5-9f90-4a54-b42e-fad3f8968a52" ></embed></object>
Okay, God. I keep having I'm pregnant dreams. What's up with that? I know it's not about us having more kids. Last night, the doc even told me she loved me. Now I know you're trying to tell me something, but what?
I am a glutton for punishment. I have two kids in casts now. Rach had both of her Achilles tendons lengthened Friday morning. She's 8, and she weighs around 90 pounds. We live in a mobile home with no ramp, so we figured out a way for me to get her in and out of the house... via piggyback ride. But she freaks out every single time she has to get moved. Very obvious she doesn't trust anyone to carry her. I keep reminding myself that this is for only two weeks until she gets her walking casts. She still freaks out getting her hair washed, too, which I thought she was done with a long time ago. Yes, I'm whining. Just feeling rather frustrated and over-tired this morning from getting too little sleep.
A lot has happened the past few days. Monday, Nate got his cast off. He was scared and very clingy. I know it felt different, too, and his poor tummy was so raw from the cast being around his waist and it being so wet from peeing. I couldn't even get him to take a bath. By Tuesday, he was back to himself and splashing in the tub quite happily.
Wednesday, Rach got fitted for her permanent braces so she can't walk on her tiptoes again after surgery. The doc figured out pretty quickly about her low pain tolerance. It took three docs just to get her new casts on. I don't know if it's necessarily pain or if it's the fact that she's scared. But in two more weeks, she'll have her braces and no more casts.
My hubs lost his job again yesterday. I admire that he has perseverance! I wish I could go to work with him and help him understand his job until it becomes rote for him. It's the same story: He tells people he has learning disabilities and ADHD and how it will affect his job. They're fine with it; they'll work with him; they hire him. Three months later, they're frustrated that they have to continue to explain his job to him over and over again and they let him go. A huge blow to him, I'm sure, especially because it's happened over and over again. Yet he continues to pick himself up and keeps trying. I'm so proud of him. Yet I also wish we could start a training program for employers to help them understand what's going on in his mind and how he learns.
But in the meantime, I've applied for a PT job so we'll see how that pans out. And I'm going to trust God for today and not worry about our tomorrow. He is faithful to provide for our every need.
Note: Hello AF... you are seriously a pain this time around.
It's been almost six weeks since my hubs had a job? Wow, I thought it was less than that. I didn't get the PT, which turns out to be God. My hubs applied at a temp place yesterday. Last week, my hubs, after much prayer, decided that he needed to be the one to work and not do window washing. That was God, not me. I usually tell my hubs that window washing isn't his thing and that he needs to work. But I said nothing this time and was supportive of him. God honored that. So we've really been praying for God's plan in our lives.
But back to yesterday. Even yesterday morning, God assured me DH would be working. He had even shown me a flash vision of my husband standing up at his desk under an open heaven and grabbing things from heaven and money falling out of the sky EVERYWHERE. Jehovah Sneaky (as our pastor likes to call God) showed up. DH walked into the temp agency and walked out with a job that pays great, and the best part is, it's repetitive. Repetition is my DH's best friend with his learning disabilities and ADHD. He'll be doing the same job over and over again. Plus they have them working 6 ten-hour shifts right now because it's an air conditioning company, so his paychecks are going to be awesome. I'll be able to save quickly to get his much-needed dental work done. No insurance, so we have $2,000 to pay in dental costs. We're going to finally go off state assistance!!! Woo!!!
Rachael- reading your journal has my mind racing... I am thinking of you and your support you offered me. I would love to be supportive of you as well.
Well, my hubs lost his job again. I hate this. So now the prayers in earnest begin again. It may just be time we apply for SSDI for my hubs. He can't keep losing jobs over and over. It's killing his self-esteem. The instability is crippling me. When you have a family of 9 with one income, it's hard to stare job loss in the face. And I hate that we can't get ahead this way. So God, I trust You way more than I trust whatever situation is going on that I just don't get. So I am praying for quick, clear direction. I think it's time I go back to work in corporate America. But the thought of not being home with my kids hurts so much, and the thought of not being able to volunteer with the kids at the City Rescue mission sucks too.
Day 1: I am thankful that my husband is out meeting with our pastor and that he's still looking for a job.
"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3 (NIV 1984)
After a couple of days of prayer, God, you keep assuring me. I need to stay home with the kids and raise them. They will eventually grow up, and He may release me then to go back to work. But my heart is at home. So I will keep working from home, but not running myself into the ground as I have been. In a sense, I've been enabling my husband to take his time finding a job.
But you've also shown me that he has to work. You have given him the ability to produce wealth. And you keep assuring me that you are going before him. God, he needs that stable job. You gave me one heck of a test this morning, and you know I struggled to keep my heart in a right attitude about him.
So today, I am thankful that he is willing to allow me to work away from home so I can have a few hours of peace and quiet, and that you are going before him and breaking down the walls.