So many trials, and so many blessings - Page 11
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Thread: So many trials, and so many blessings

  1. #101
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    What do you do when you love someone so much, you have to let them go because it's what's best for them? I found myself in that place today...a place that hurts immensely because I love him....but having to choose to say goodbye so he will choose to get the help he needs? Nothing hurts more than this. I almost feel as though I did when I got separated from my ex...I don't feel like eating or sleeping. So if you're a praying person, say a prayer for Ryan, ok? He really needs everyone's prayers right now.
    Ryan and Rachael
    Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate

    ~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~

  2. #102
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    What happened? I hope you are ok. You're in my prayers.
    Kendra


    Kendra
    Happily Married
    Parents to a beautiful daughter, age 4
    Pursuing adoption!

  3. #103
    JenSF580
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    I hope you're ok...

  4. #104
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    God, you know how I feel today. I am angry. I am heartbroken. I am sad. What should have been a joyous time has turned into a night of weeping. I've been ok the past couple of days. God, I know he ended our engagement in anger but God, he still said it and I am in agreement. I left him on the altar on Wednesday night during church as you asked me to and there he will stay until you have worked and moved in his heart and mind. I wish I knew God, I wish I could understand. I still hold out great joy and hope that he will come around and his eyes will be opened, and we will eventually become husband and wife and work in ministry together. Oh God, I will wait, no matter how much it grieves my heart. I need joy unspeakable, peace that passes all understanding....

  5. #105
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    I hate the emotions of up and down that go through my heart right now. One moment, I can be at total peace with how God is working things out...and then I can be upset at how it's all going. Being a single mom and having absolutely no money, but knowing God has promised me that He will supply for all of my needs...and today I need gas money. My unemployment is stuck right now...so it may be a few weeks. I have a new PT job, and the pastor asked me to tell him how much I need per week...but how can I ask for any money, knowing full well that the pastor and his wife don't draw a salary and the financial state of the church? I'm trying so hard not to dwell on the circumstances, but today, it's difficult.

  6. #106
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    Hang in there. Keep positive. Things will turn around...I know God is listening to you.


    Kendra
    Happily Married
    Parents to a beautiful daughter, age 4
    Pursuing adoption!

  7. #107
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    Oh, God, where are you? Two different people have told me this week that I will lack no good thing, that You are going to provide. My landlord left a note on my front door and the rent is due. How do I come up with $550? You are my husband, my provider, all of my needs are met according to your riches in glory...I know what Your Word says. God if you don't move, it isn't going to happen!!!

  8. #108
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    And maybe I should tell you this, maybe I shouldn't, I dont know. I've started a thousand emails trying to tell you this but I couldn't bring myself to send them. I miss the man that I've seen God grow in you...the one who preached his first sermon...the one on our "official" first date...the one who held me and prayed over me...I miss that part of you the most because that's when God gave me glimpses of the husband I need in you. Today, I need you to kiss away the hurts and fears and hold me...I had to leave quickly today just so I didn't break down in front of you, and I'm sorry if that hurt you. I love you.

  9. #109
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    Ok, wow is it ever time for an update....

    God never ceases to amaze me, but He never surprises me. A few days after my post about my rent, a great friend of mine and a complete stranger sent me exactly in the mail what I needed to cover the rest of my rent for January, as well as some money for food and some new clothes for my boys.

    February 5th, I went in for a job interview at a bank, and I got a job after 5 1/2 months of rejection after rejection. The pay is the same as my last job with the same hours! Better yet, one of my bosses is a Spirit-filled Christian and said she's been praying for someone just like me. I could have danced for joy after finding that out. I didn't tell them I was pregnant when they hired me. 4 days into the job, God gave me the opportunity to tell them and they are more than excited! My Christian boss said God had already told her I was pregnant, but she didn't want to start prophesying to someone she doesn't know very well yet. God has shown me over and over again that this was the job He had for me I really love this place, too. It's been worth the wait!

    Then I got my tax return and it was larger than I expected, and I got my extra school money and it was more than I expected. I've put the money to good use, paying ahead several utilities and getting myself entirely out of debt!

    Other, small things have happened....like my mom sending me a gift card to the mall on Valentine's Day, and my new boss giving me a gift card to Burlington Coat Factory, where I'd planned to buy this baby a new carseat.

    The state finally stopped messing with my food stamps and I got two months worth at once, so we were finally able to buy groceries and have plenty left over.

    God is so good--in a month's time, He's thrown open the doors of heaven and has blessed me abundantly. I've been able to give more in tithes and offerings in a month than I did the entire time of last year!

    But, on another note, the wedding is still on hold. Just in the past few days, I have sensed that it's time for Ryan and I to get married, but CPS is involved in both of our lives. It's really strange, but it's more like the enemy is attacking our family. So please pray for this mountain to be removed. We have a 5 bedroom house on hold and a nanny waiting in the wings who will live with us and help me take care of the kiddos.

    My health has been attacked lately as well. Ryan gave me a cold that turned into the flu and then last Saturday my blood sugar crashed and I had a severe insulin reaction and passed out and had a siezure. I bit my tongue, peed my pants...and when I awoke, I couldn't remember where I'd left my kids nor that I was pregnant! That was scary. So my docs are keeping a close eye on me and the LO. I had my cerclage put in on the 12th and all I can say about that is I never want morphine again. I was sick to my stomach for days.

    My big u/s is on March 17th...I can't wait! I hope we're having a little girl! Ryan has been incredibly supportive of me. He's the husband I wish that I'd had with all of my pregnancies--the kind that talks to the baby, constantly rubbing my belly and is just excited about all of this. I can't wait to marry him.

  10. #110
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    Woo whoo! CPS called me and my case is getting closed, praise the Lord!!!! One down, one to go!
    Ryan and Rachael
    Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate

    ~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~

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