I seriously wish the doc had waited until this coming wednesday to give me those results and then let me know about the u/s the next morning. I'm having serious nightmares and flashbacks (of my first child's birth). Argh. God's assured me everything is ok but my mind is kicking into overdrive when I sleep!
I am woman, hear me roar! Ok, it's my thoughts that husbands should know how to install toilet parts but my husband has no idea of how to do home improvement anything. So I managed to get them all replaced and now our toilet flushes again. Thank goodness.
Abby and Rach are soooooo tired. Rach just took a bath after 6 p.m. and she's been complaining and whining and crying ever since. And of course woke up Hannah with all of her carrying on. Good grief. I swear some days, I wish they had a mute button for kids.
Last edited by ShiningLight; 06-12-2009 at 07:10 PM.
Oh mama. This kid is a cervix hugger. And a mover. I swear I'm having contractions every so often. Hopefully I can hang until Thursday morning so I can ask them to have a good look at my cervix to make sure it isn't shortening.
Today's favorite place: a little nook in my left side, about belly-button level. I probably looked quite odd in church, trying to lean to the right to get this little one to move. Still trying. Sitting just isn't going to happen the rest of the day. I look like I need a V8! lol
I lost about 20 lbs today when I cut off about 3/4 of my hair. It was mid-back length and now it's nice and short, and I have bangs. I've not had bangs in 20 years or so. And now I feel old just reading over that post. I'm in my early 30's...I guess that makes me young. lol
Tomorrow's the day when we find out if this AFP elevated level for spina bifida is true or not. I'm guessing not. Either way, an added bonus of an u/s and finding out the gender is fun enough. I'm so thankful God has brought me through this week with the peace that passes all understanding...
First, the good news. We're having a ! DH is thrilled as he never thought he'd get a boy. He's measuring consistently at 18w 1 day.
Now, the not-so-good news. The cut off for my afp levels was 2.0 since I'm a diabetic. In a non-diabetic mom, the cut off is 2.5. My level was 2.56. The geneticist said those elevated levels can also mean that a mom is at a greater risk to develop pre-eclampsia, which I've had in a prior pregnancy.
After a very detailed level II u/s, the docs cannot rule out spina bifida. There are no classic markers for it-no hydrocephalus (fluid in the brain) and no club feet. However, there is an area right in the middle of his spine that is noticeably crooked. The doc can tell that there is no fluid filled area there and there's obviously skin covering that area, so here's the possible outcomes:
1. The baby has a couple of vertebrae out of alignment.
2. The baby has mild scoliosis.
3. The baby has the mildest form of spina bifida.
The first two can be easily corrected by a chiropractor after birth-the last may or may not require surgery and I'll definitely be having a c/s. I go back on July 15 for another level II ultrasound so they can get a better look. I declined an amnio for now as I would rather wait until he's reached the age where if it causes me to go into preterm labor (I'm at a high risk for that anyway), he will survive. So say some prayers for us. I'm kinda numb right now and I think after a good cry I will feel at least sane.
Yay on your boy!!!!! That is such wonderful news! I can only imagine that the other news is weighing heavily on you right now. Think of the "footprints in the sand" poem and just let Him carry you. He can give you the strength to handle anything that will come. I will keep you and your tiny one in my prayers.
After my husband left for work last night and the girls were in bed, I let myself finally have a good, long, cry. I couldn't cry in front of him, especially after seeing how excited he is to have a little boy finally . I did a lot of praying last night. Not only for Natertater (Nathaniel-which means gift from God-is this little guy's name), but for my DH's job situation. I picked up The Power of a Praying Wife about a month ago and I've been praying specifically for his job.
This past Friday, we learned that the company he was working for had been sold to a nationally known, very good company. That was an answer in prayer simply b/c his former boss was cheating him out of pay and we sometimes had to wait days after payday to finally get a paycheck. When he found out that the site he was working for hadn't been transferred to the new company, he left that site and so did one of his coworkers. His former boss was angry-threatening not to pay him or this other guy, threatening cuts in pay. The new boss had already told us that even if the old boss didn't pay DH that he would pay him for the time. But to see how this old boss was acting...I know we made the right decision when DH went over to the new company. We began finding out the old company's troubles were simply bad business-not paying employees timely, not paying the employment taxes. Yeah. You reap what you sow, buddy.
But, it gets better. DH came home this morning and the site he was working for now wants to transfer their contract to this new company. He wanted to know where his good security guards had gone-and mentioned my DH by name b/c of the great job he was doing there. So he's going back to the old site and the company is negotiating a pay raise . DH has been working a new site this week and the manager has already called the company owner, wanting to know where they've been hiding such a good security guard. That's my baby! I've been praying for God's favor and for a massive pay raise and promotion for my hubby and it's exciting to see God working it out. Especially when I know this is an area where he really needs prayer b/c he's been through so many jobs over the past 10 years.
I'm starting to hate those two little words. I know that my Savior, my Redeemer, my Jesus is Jehovah Raphe-the healer! I know that it's by his stripes that Nathan is healed.
And if I even stop to think about Nate, those two little pervading words surface. I'm really wondering how moms deal with in utero diagnosis. It's got to be maddening. DH and I sat in marriage counseling today and I just wanted to scream at him, Can't you see I'm dying inside right now??? Who cares what your dad and brother did to you! Do you even see my pain??? Do you??? Do you even realize how much this waiting is driving me crazy? This is our child...my baby...my gift...oh God, nothing can be wrong with him. Please don't let anything be wrong with him! This coming from a man who says he wants me to tell him how I feel. But he's lost in his own pain and doesn't realize. Do I dare pray that God would put me on my husband's heart...how much I need him right now? I know I have You, Father...but right now I need him.
Time to go cry again.
Last edited by ShiningLight; 06-20-2009 at 09:20 PM.
The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. John 6:63
It was as we talked last night, DH & I, that he told me he forgot to tell me something. Just after we got the news from the doc, God put in on his heart to tell me to read through John 6. He couldn't tell me what would jump out at me, but the above verse is it. Something so simple, yet so profound. I keep thinking of all that God has told me about Nate before I knew about this possibility. So I'm going to remember and focus on that. For someone who has experienced so many losses it's an area where my faith has to grow. I worried with Hannah and she turned out fine. Thankfully my DH keeps me God focused and keeps me covered in prayer.
We got incredible news Friday. Even more so than what I blogged about a few days ago. Abby got approved for SSI. Way sooner than the 3 months they told us it would take. I'm amazed 'cause I so know this is God. We're fixing to test God in another financial area. We're short to pay the rent and the car payment. So we're sowing every dime we have left into God's economy and we're going to pray and trust that no matter what, God is going to provide right on time. I can't wait to see how God pulls this one off! Our housing appointment is Tuesday which comes just in time-we should have assistance come October. Didn't want to move into a larger house just before I give birth, but we have to get into something bigger. No more room here. Now we've got to figure out how to afford a crib, new carseat, and a 2nd, bigger car that will seat all 9 of us . Not figure out persay, but we do gotta pray about it and wait to see how God provides.
Speaking of Hannah...she's cracking us up. She says "uh-uh-oh" all the time now. And when she sits at the table, she has to prop her left foot up. What a ham.
Last edited by ShiningLight; 06-21-2009 at 11:30 AM.