Thread: So many trials, and so many blessings

Well, I blinked and our two year anniversary has come and gone. We had big plans to stay in a hotel this year, we found a sitter for the kids, and we were going to a local amusement park all by ourselves. I have a fondness for roller coasters after all.

But then life hit. 2:30 in the afternoon on May 21st, we got word that Ryan's father had passed away. We cried for mere seconds and then we were packing up kids and heading out the door.

When we arrived where Ryan's mom is in a nursing home about two hours away, we had to break the news to her. Oh, how she cried! It broke my heart entirely. She was heartbroken that he was alone when he died.

Ryan and I had two concerns. One, that his mom was okay and two, we really were uncertain where his dad stood on the eternal side of things. After much prayer, God showed us both the same scripture and did indeed assure us that his dad is in heaven.

And then we went back the next day to the nursing home, and his mom had completely forgotten that we'd told her about her husband's passing and that we'd been there the day before. So we had to break the news all over again. The first time was bad; the second time was even worse.

Thankfully, Ryan's aunts showed up and entirely helped take care of his mom. Those three (Torchie, Judy, and his mom) have such a blast together! I really loved watching his mom laugh and smile.

Then Monday came and the will was read and there was a huge ruckus about who mom's executor was going to be-she threw a huge fit that it was going to be her step-daughter who had already swindled a huge amount of money from her late husband. We all left the attorney's office with very heavy hearts but we determined to trust God with all of this.

And God answered within mere hours. The step-daughter stepped down as executor and gave that right to Aunt Torchie and my husband, which we were fine with. We both knew Torchie is a Godly woman and would not misuse finances for Ryan's mom's care.

Then Tuesday came, and Ryan and I spent a day and a half cleaning out his dad's home so the executor could get it on the market to sell. I forgot to mention that his father was dead for five days from a heart attack before anyone found him. The smell was nothing I could ever describe. I hope I never smell it again. It was gut-wrenching. Horrid. Worse than a skunk.

Wednesday morning arrived and we had the memorial service. Ryan officiated it and even did a sermon. I was so proud of him. He didn't even shed a tear this entire time... but I knew it would come.

Wednesday night we arrived home and took a couple of days to rest from the craziness. Friday night it hit us both. Some days I really hate being able to feel God's sorrow... I could feel it for my hubby. I don't think I've ever wanted to wail as much as I did that night.

I know there is more that happened, but some of it is for my heart only and maybe I'll share it later on. I still feel like I'm in a fog some days.

And in the midst of this, we got word that our small group leader's daughter lost her baby at 20 weeks. Even that hurt my heart for her. I couldn't sleep and so I took time to pray for her. I know the pain she is feeling but I can't say I know how she feels exactly.

What I know for certain is that God is still good all the time... that He does carry me through difficult times... that even in the midst of an incredible loss that I can still have a peace that passes all understanding and a joy unspeakable... and that I know my Reedemer Lives and that my father-in-law is now in Heaven and has become a part of the great cloud of witnesses that is cheering my husband on as he pursues full time ministry.

Charles Worley-I know I only knew you for a few years but I will truly miss you. See you one day soon in Heaven dad.

Obviously my uterus isn't the same anymore. My first PP AF showed up and Midol is on the menu. Fetal position, anyone?

Argh. What a crappy freaking day. I'm sure it's because we have had no a/c since Tuesday and it's hotter than a furnace in this house, especially upstairs where it's 89 degrees. Tomorrow promises to be a 95 degree day. And you know what? My attitude sucks horridly and I'm cranky beyond belief. Shame on me.

Who wants a 12 year old preteen?

Were it not for God, I would have gone mental some time ago. Things with the preteen are nuts. I feel like I'm not gonna survive it some days. But then again, none of my children are gonna get away from me praying for them, so really, they don't have a choice but to do it God's way. lol

I'm really proud of the hubs. He's taking initiative to change some things about himself that really do need to change before the real ministry part begins. I can only begin to imagine the frustration he must feel right now. So I do nothing but listen and pray over him. I know God has so much more for us ministry wise and it's really time to move forward.

One of the exciting things about our lives is that we're finally saying adios to state assistance. It takes a lot of time and resources to feed a family of nine... so this is nothing short of a miracle from God. I'm suddenly getting child support consistently and the transcription work is flooding in. Looking around at others in the world and how depressed the economy is... I know God is prospering us. I basically took two weeks off when Ryan's dad died and I've now been working for 12 days straight. That's how busy the transcription world is, especially for the film industry. Plus I get to stay home with the kids!

Speaking of which, time to get back to work.

Say lots of prayers for this family. We need them.

Wow, God. That is all I can say. Two solid years of praying for my hubby and this is such an awesome, jaw-dropping change in him. I like this new husband -- A LOT. Nothing short of you!

Note to self: AF showed up on 7/14. Six weeks between the two. Need I say, ouch?!?!

Ryan's mom is now down in Allen, TX, near her sister, who will be taking care of her closer to home. We weren't expecting that move so quickly.

Two weeks later, and Nate is still recovering from chicken pox. He is such a happy baby -- always smiling and catching everyone's attention.

And then, my Hannah Banana turned two years old on the 13th! She's already growing up so fast, and making us laugh every day.

Yesterday, Nate's first tooth popped through, the one on the bottom right. No wonder he's been cranky.

I have lots of updating to do, but it's difficult at the moment. I've been slammed with a lot of transcription work, and I have to take it, because we've got school supplies to buy!

Sigh. The day I've been dreading has finally happened. My oldest refuses to come visit anymore. He and my DH are constantly butting heads and fighting. He hates my DH so much, he doesn't want to be here. Problem is, my DH is being a jerk and flipping out over the smallest things, and my son is intentionally pushing buttons. They're both putting me in the middle of the quarrel, and I refuse to choose sides. I love both of them. I need me another good cast iron skillet, so when those two start in, I can hit them both over the head. That way I can get rid of the negative behavior by making it painful enough for both of them. Problem is, they both have the stance of "It's all his fault" and point the finger at each other, instead of themselves. Neither one will change until the other one does.

I hate it when my husband tells my son that he can't be at our home. I told him once before that we're a package deal. If Chase goes, I go. Today, DH said, well fine, see ya later when I reminded him of that. Not that he actually meant it, but geez. It's sad when a 35 year old man can't swallow his pride and control his temper.

The other thing we're doing is taking Chase down to our local county jail so he can go through a three hour boot camp there. They also do random, follow-up calls to see if the kids that go through this program are doing what they're supposed to be doing. Right now, Chase is defiant towards any authority figures -- parents, step-parents, teachers, even church workers. He does what he wants and how he wants to do it. I'm just praying my ex will agree to allow Chase to go through some harsh consequences. He's the only one holding this up right now, because even though he sees that Chase is disobedient, he refuses to let me do anything about it. Spanking, grounding, taking away privileges, nothing is working on him anymore.