Steph's Place

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Steph's Place

Hello!! I guess I am starting over....for the best I guess....I thought my posts never made sense....like I was making some kind of shopping list. Don't have long or much to post. The morning is beautiful and hopefully it STAYS that way!!

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Well, the sun was shinning for a bit. I wish it was longer! I did get outside and re-pot some flowers. I got my strawberries today and now I am starting to rethink the idea of growing somthing like this. I haven't dealt with flowers via the mail and they come in a bundle and they just look like more roots than anything. I did plant about twelve but that leaves MANY more...instructions say they can be kept in a cool place like the fridge or garage for a few more weeks or until I want to plant some more. The weather just doesn't seem right....too chilly but they take several weeks before the roots take hold so by then weather might improve. Anyway, we shall see. My green house plants have sprouted...only took a week. I am very impressed. I think I might do a few more flowers that way. I have cleaned this house and now I need to get myself and Da'rel presentable Smile

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Well, I had all kinds of things to say but my mind has went blank. Must be that tub & tile cleaner I inhaled! LOL! I have cleaned floors,tub,dishes,clothes....I am tired!! The weather is half sunny half cloudy skies and some wind. Sure hope my strawberries survive!! I think I am going to visit my mom tomorrow. She lives about 45 mins away. I am tired of sitting home so, after I drop DJ off at school will go see her. Going to give her some of my strawberries....I don't need 50 plants! LOL!! Baby is napping and all I need to do is shower and I can relax the rest of the day Smile

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Oh, I feel so guilty now!! I decided to switch Da'rel from his doctor to our family doctor. It's just easier that all of us see the same doc. When we lived closer it was fine but now I have changed my mind. Anyway, his doctor called to let me know he was sending out Da'rel's medical file and to find out if I was leaving due to bad care...Of course it wasn't! Gosh, just to hear him say that made me feel like crap! Sad I said NO! He did give Da'rel awesome care and made me feel like the best parent ever....However, the other two docs in his office are JERKS! LOL! I love our family doc and she knows all of us even, the baby Smile I do feel good that we have had such great medical care. Anyway, I just feel bad....like I am taking away business and that his practice will fall! LOL! I am sure it's not THAT bad ... I just don't like having those kinds of conversations.

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Dang I am SLOW! Man, all I have to say about this journal squabble is if you don't like what someone is writting like *K* said before DON'T read it....continue on to another journal or stop reading alltogether. I don't understand some women....I don't know everyone here but I respect them and would never pm them about what they are writting.

Anyway, on to my day. Visit with my mom and sister was great. Baby was so good. He had lots of things at mom's to keep him busy. The dog and cat were his toys Smile

My mom's husband has a niece who had a baby back about 2 1/2 months ago. This gal is a recovering drug addict who seemed to get herself together while she was elprego but now has gone down hill. Her poor baby is just so sweet and pretty. The biggest & brightest blue eyes I have seen. Well, this young mother is NOT ready to have a child. She wouldn't give her up for adoption because she was adopted. I am telling you ....this girl will pawn her 2 1/2 month old baby off on anyone. The mother I will call *M* is back to her old ways. She looks like she is back on drugs. She looks like she is dying. You can see all the bones in her face! After the baby was born *M* needed day surgery for some small problem that she milked for a week in the hospital....they finally kickded her out. Meanwhile my mom is taking care of a seven day old baby all day(for a week) and then the baby's grandma would take her for the night...my mom called me and said *M* hasn't even called to check on her baby since she's been in the hospital....several days by then.....when *M* finally got KICKED out of the hospital instead of coming home to see, hold and love her baby she went to a friends house and stayed. She didn't actually see her baby for two weeks and this baby was BRAND NEW!

I couldn't believe it! I couldn't! I know for me I wouldn't let my boys out of my sight and if I was in the hospital I would have my DH or mom bring them to me daily!

So, speed ahead to 2 1/2 months (today) and the baby has been battling...get this....SCABIES!!! The grandma is saying it's from *M's* boyfriend who she's no longer with but yet the baby keeps getting this over and over(second time in a month she's gotten this)....the baby, who I saw today, is so tiny and innocent and nobody is even taking good care of her. I wanted to cry. Then again I was trying to keep Da'rel away so he wouldn't catch anything from her. I guess her head is where she is infected. HOW?? How on earth can a small baby get that and WHY isn't *M* taking care of her!!!????? My mom doesn't think she will have the baby much longer. All of my mom's in-laws are up there in age and no one wants a baby. How sad!

I was day dreaming on the way home....I would LOVE to take care of her...give her all the love'n' and attention she needs and deserves. I wonder if DH would ever let me?? Probably NOT! :cry:

I just keep praying and praying for this little one.

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I took my multivitamin for active people and I was hoping it would kick me in my butt and give me some damn energy!! I NEED something! I am always on the go but always TIRED! :?

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Look at these cute baby butts! LOL! So CUTE! Smile

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Ha, it's been AGES since I have wrote in my journal. I had a post yesterday then deleted it. I haven't been in the mood to write.

Easter was good. After church I hid some plastic eggs in the back yard...I filled them with candy and $$. Da'rel had his basket and grabbed the eggs and put them in there with out any help from us...I guess he just knew or he was watching DJ Smile What sweet heart! After that we took off to some friends house. It's brand ass new! VERY, very beautiful. My only problem was they homes are spaced so closely you can fart and the whole dang block can hear you! LOL!! I had an ok time. I just seemed on edge and somewhat crabby. I have known most of these people for almost 7 years. One gal was really getting on my nerves. She's just a year or two younger than me and made some commet about she could NEVER have kids at our young age....I am thinking cuz no one wants to hump you! LOL! No, I just said that I wouldn't change having my boys for a thing....you see how different you life is with kids....I see how fun and exciting life is through their eyes...anyway, normally I am very talkative and what not but that day I found a chair and sat basically the entire time. We are the only ones out of those friends who have kids....and all the women have careers or degrees and I am the only one who sah and I really didn't have anything to say. I felt so out of place. I am watching everyone talking about their jobs and what not and I am playing with the kids. I felt so left out Sad I keep getting this impression from other gals who don't sah or even have kids that what I do is a piece of cake....they (even with out kids) can clean their house in one hour, cook a meal from scratch all this with even traveling across the state for a quick business meeting and back home before 5pm.....This is what this gal was saying and I wanted to puke. I bet she gets the worst ms and her baby is up all hours of the night the first three years of it's life! LOL! I wanted to choke the shit out of her!! Seems easy when your single but add two kids and dinner, bath and homework time the house can get messy, loud and crazy in a matter of minutes. She'll see one day.

Anyway, DJ had a great report card yesterday. I am still wondering when he is going to be tested for the TAG program. When the school year was going to end in May I was told the paper work wouldn't be in, in time for the tests now, that the school year will end in mid June I am hoping the school will get to it.

Da'rel, is watching Blues Clues. We are going to run to town and see about getting some summer clothes for the boys. I haven't had much luck with sales. I know Target will have some cute things for Da'rel and will check out Old Navy....I haven't been liking that place. They changed the lay out and there hasn't been any sales racks! Sad Off to start the day!

Below are Easter Pics I had taken of the boys....I LOVE Them!!! They look so much like their dad it's unreal....not as dark as him though...I keep telling DH...see how beautiful our childen are we need to have ONE more! LOL!! Fat chance!

DJ-6yrs & Da'rel-1 1/2yrs.

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So, I got this idea to have someone put together DH's new desk that has been sitting in our entry way for over two weeks. DH is away on business and last night they came over and did it. It looks so great! My only problem was after everyone left I reconnected the computer and printers and all that jazz accept the DSL modem wouldn't come back on....so, I was waiting and looked over and there was this haze of smoke coming from the DSL modem...I about shit my pants. I turned it off. The house reeked of burnt plastic for hours. I called and hopefully a new one will be here in two days Smile I have skills and managed to hook the computer up on dial up while we wait. I was proud of myself. So, today I go and pick up things for the desk...cd rack, pencil holder and I get him some paper clips and file folders and even though I am not on his companies payroll. I file all of DH's work cc statements and travel expense reports. I sure hope he likes this. I did it as his anniversary gift. Sunday we celebrate 7years! Yahoo! At this point I could careless if I get anything. I have been cleaning and cleaning the last two days....his old desk was a mess of crap that I had to sort through. I think I have gotten it done.

So, as I was doing this cleaning of the desk I go into my room and notice that I am getting dizzy the room is moving and my dresser is shaking...I think... EARTHQUAKE....and I hear a rumble and a bang and I say No, it's probably the trains....there is train tracks only a few blocks from here. Da'rel was in the kitchen door way...He was eating and watching tv from his highchair...he called for me in a funny way and I check on him and he's fine. I see the tv to see if there is breaking news...nothing..so I think it's all in my mind...My mom calls about 15mins later to ask if I felt the quake which was centered about a mile away. I was still feeling nauseous....I thought it was the viatmins I have been taking....Too strange. I have been in three quakes before and one was 6.9 the other was 5.0 and they shook like mad crazy but thankfully everyone was fine. I always am thankful nothing serious happens here unlike the ones in California or other countries. We are lucky. I hope the 'big one' never hits.

Anyway, I am tired and want to get a nice hot shower in before bed Smile

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So, DH came home on Friday to his desk put together and he loved it! I was happy. I figured he would like it but you never know. I though I would go get my hair done on Saturday...my anniverary gift...so, I tell the stylist guy that I want realistic highlights....and I end up with BLONDE highlights...my hair is DARK brown. The cut was awesome. Now, I have to decide on if I want to have my hair redyed. I want to but then again...even if I didn't ask for the blonde it still looks good. I like it one minute then hate it the next. I think it's the fact that its so dramatic and that I didn't ask for this. So, having a hard time with it. I feel so wishy-washy...I went to the salon this morning to have a patch test to see if I am having any sensitivity since I thought I might have been. So far nothing. I am just not so sure I want to keep the blonde....I would much rather have carmel/auburn highlights since the color is closer to a shade of brown/red than BLONDE is.

Well, our anniversary was on Sunday. 7years! Wow! Ofcourse we got into a fight. What's new??!! I went off to church with the boys and DH stayed home. It was my turn to watch the kids in the nursery. Shoot the guy I had helping was no help at all! I wasn't very happy about that! I get home and DH is happy and we kiss and make up. So, later that day he gives me a gift....ah, I said getting my hair 'did' was my gift but thankfully he didn't listen to me. I got a diamond/gold bracelet...very pretty. The weather was awesome so, I went outside and weeded my flowers and enjoyed the sun. Threw DJ's football around and then back inside to cook dinner. I didn't want to go out and eat. Easier to just stay home. I figured since my birthday is this Friday that my anniversary gift and B-day gift will be one in the same Smile I don't mind....then again DH might surprise me. We were suppose to go to Aberdeen to see my twin brother and family but yesterday my brother Zach, who has been dealing with a brain tumor, slipped into a coma due to his shunt failing...this is the third shunt surgery and the second time the shunt failed damn near killing him! Mom called lastnight to say he's doing well. His last week of radiation treatment is this week but not sure if the surgery will set that back any. I hope not. I know he's looking forward to getting this over with! I pray and pray for him. I have a picture of us as kids in our underroos...I was wonder woman and Zach was the Hulk. We look so cute Smile I plan on getting the picture blown up for him.

Baby is napping and living room is picked up. My bedroom and kitchen could use my attention but I dont want to just yet. I will soon cuz DJ has soccer today and I don't want to leave the house a mess. The sun is out and it looks pretty clear with blue skies. I hope my flowers/vegs/fruit plants and soaking up the sun. I should get off and check out the weather Smile Then again my allergies are KILLING me and nothing is working! Sad

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I am so frustrated right now. One: DJ is acting like a spoiled brat and crying LOUDLY to make me mad....Second: My mom called to say that my brother isn't do so hot. He's extremely depressed. The first time six months (since this began for him) that he's having this problem. He won't eat and can't control his bladder. The hospital was suppose to send him home today but my mom isn't able to care for him at the place they are staying and she wants the hospital to find out what they can do for his depression and wetting the bed. I am sure wetting himself is part of the depression. We were suppose to go up there to visit this weekend but after this last surgery I am not going to have two kids running around him making noise when he should rest. Mom isn't happy I am not coming up. It hasn't even been a week since his surgery. I think he needs to heal a bit more before there is a houseful of people and knowing him he wouldn't be up for it. Plus, it's my birthday this Friday and the party we are going to have for it and for my brother and his ending radiation will be next week. So, why would I come up this week only to turn around and go back again. My parents don't drive the 2 1/2 hours to see me and they aren't traveling with children. I don't understand how they don't understand that?? They don't. They think I can drop everything at a moments notice and go see them. I can't even tell you the last time my parents have been here....Maybe July of last year....yet, I have been to their place three times this year alone. This is a problem ( who visits who) that will never be resolved.

Anyway, DH leaves again tonight for Seattle. Seems they need him up there. He should be back by Friday. I hope in time for dinner. If not then I will take the kids some place to eat. I like to go out for dinner on my birthday Smile

Da'rel is getting into DH's work things so, better get and put his crap out of reach!

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Happy MAY day everyone! When I was a kid we use to make cones out of paper and stuff them full of flowers or weeds....and knock on our neighbors door and leave them. Most everyone was happy but there were a few grumpy turds who didn't appreciate a 6yr old kids gesture...Poo on you!!

Only one more day and I am a year older!!! Oh, I love May 2nd!! LOL! I do wish my twin was around to celebrate but I am use to it by now!!

Off to enjoy the beautiful weather we are having!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! LOL!

:thewave: :occasion1:

My mom and sister came down and took me to lunch and we went to the mall shopping. It's so awesome outside today. Got to 70 yesterday and I think about the same today. It's hard to believe I am one year older. I feel the same as when I was a kid Smile Not sure if De'Juan will be home early enough for dinner but I don't care. I have had a great time already Smile

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Weekend was good. Step-mom still upset with me for not coming up. I am so sorry really I am but we are all sick. After DJ's soccer game on Saturday he spiked a fever. All afternoon I had him drinking water and gave him some meds...it finally broke but I can't imagine taking him to my parents house were it takes an act of congress to turn on the heat. My brother doesn't need sick people around him right now. I promised I would come up next weekend and then realized that it's mother's day and I have a prior commitment at church. So, she's going to be even more pissed. Doesn't it sound a little weird?? I mean the reason she is mad at me seems petty and stupid. She wouldn't even talk to me on my birthday. Ah, fuck her! All my life I have been having to tread around her and not hurt her feelings while she stomps on everyone elses.

So, my hair was fixed. Looks good. It's still going to take some getting use to. Now, I have three colors of brown to blend.

De'Juan was home for most of the day. I am glad he's off working Smile I feel like he's watching my every move even when he's doing paper work. I go to my room and watch tv and fold laundry. I am off to chat on the phone Smile

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Ah, the morning started off very slow. All the running around I did yesterday. I got the wicked witch of the south her mother's day gift.....Um, I mean my mother in laws gift Smile LOL! I am sure she will bitch about it. She always does where I am concerned. Shit, I sent out over 60 easter cards with pictures of the boys...the first thing she asks me is if I sent pics to one of her friends. Man, I was beyond pissed. So, had a good day shopping yesterday. DJ had his soccer practice and last week he left his ball on the field due to a thunderstorm and the coach took all the balls home...now the coach is saying he doesn't have the ball. Oh, great! One more thing to buy that dang kid. He doesn't keep track of his things or he tears them apart with in minutes of getting something. He has been doing well in school. No problems this week...maybe I spoke too soon Smile His teacher sent this note home saying there is a field trip to the zoo and the kids can't go unless a family memeber is there to watch the child....every child! So, I have Da'rel and I am going to ask if it's ok if Da'rel is there....I am thinking that it shouldn't matter because we the parents are watching the kids NOT the teachers. I will drive myself up to the zoo while DJ rides the bus...I will pay for Da'rel and I...whatever it takes so ,I can be there. DJ asked me last week if I could go to the zoo with him. I told him I would love to(before I knew I had to be there) but I have Da'rel and they won't let me do anything in class besides wash the tables because I have Da'rel with me. So, he wasn't happy with me...told me it makes him feel sad when I don't get to go on field trips...he says that Da'rel will behave...it's ok to bring him. I felt terrible. I know he wants me to be there and I want to. I dont have babysitters during the day. All my friends work. De'Juan can't take any time off. He's too busy. Sad I hope I hear the answer I want when I talk to his teacher today.

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Well, I spoke to the teacher and everything is a go for the trip to the Zoo....they know I am bringing Da'rel but said it would be ok. Watch they probably tell me the day of that they changed their minds and then say I can't go. The teacher did say if I was going that possibly I should invite several other parents to car pool with me? WTF??! Nice they just say that with out asking.

Yesterday my best freind came up to visit. I was watching her son and Da'rel while she was getting her hair cut. The salon was EMPTY! The boys were doing great. Da'rel was next to me looking in the full length mirrors ......way out of the way not being loud...when the gal who runs the salon during the day comes up to me or Da'rel rather and says I hope your not putting your little fingers all over my clean mirrors....and then walks away. He's not even two feet tall and he's standing there pointing to his nose and very curly-fro-ish hair....I picked him up and Ethyn and we went to the car while Court go her hair done. She was in there only 15more minutes. I was so pissed. They could have been screaming like wild animals and the place packed BUT they weren't and the place had three people getting their hair done and that includes my best buddy. Ah, I hate the fing place. So tired of the snooty-ness! Then again the prices are so cheap! If I can find another place I would leave there Smile So, my best friends sister put in a complaint.....I hope MELISSA gets bitched at! HOE!! Get a personality!

Anyway, everyones in bed. Maybe I should think about that. We all have been sick. I have only a cough and nothing else...but the cough hurts my chest and feels like my lungs are going to explode! They boys have runny noses and coughs. DJ has soccer tomorrow and I think my girlfriend is coming to watch. Not sure if there is anything going on this mother's day weekend....besides church.....I did speak with my step-mom and I knew she would be mad....she was! She claims she understands. I am sure just enough to with-hold my birthday card. Whatever! Don't need her damn $$ anyways! Smile

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After DJ's soccer game on Saturday we took the boys to lunch and then to this indoor sports place. They have all kinds of indoor play equipment. So, we walk in and the boys run ahead of me and De'Juan is paying. This lady at this table looks at me and asks if those are my kids. I said yes. Then she says are they Milatto! I about fucking fainted! That word is very offensive to me...not to everyone but it is to me. I said if you mean biracial then Yes, they are. She keeps talking! I knew she was a few brinks short of a load then! She asks if I live in the area? Thankfully I get to say NO! She says oh, I really want my son to play with children of his own kind! I nearl crapped my pants! Never in all my life have I ever had this converstaion with anyone. I always get the stares and the 'what are they' questions but never this. I just smiled and walked away. I wanted to choke her! Just by looking at her she seemed off but when she opened her mouth you KNEW something was wrong. While the boys were playing De'Juan and I were sitting down when she comes over with her boy to the indoor monkey bars and gets on the and hangs upside down...letting EVERYTHING show....not that she had anything to begin with. I turned the other way. I was avoiding her like the plege. I told DH what she said and he was HOT! :evil: He said let her come over here talking that mess to me! I said babe no one would ever question 'what' the boys are with you right there. They only do that to me. I realize that folks have questions even I do sometimes but even still I won't ask if a child is a boy or a girl....I defently wouldn't come out and ask if your biracial. Even hearing the word 'mixed' pisses me off. Gosh, folks biracial children aren't circus freaks!

Sunday was better Smile We went off to church and enjoyed a bbq. It was a beautiful day. I called my step-mom and thankfully she didn't answer the phone! I left a message. I also sent her a card. I noticed that I didn't get a card or a call. This is her way of still being pissed at me. I am suppose to go up there this weekend. I am thinking of spending some time at my aunts house. I really don't want to be around them. I do know if I go now I won't have to worry about it until late in the summer. Well, baby just went down and I am going to start some laundry since the GE man just came and fixed my washer Smile

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Yesterday I went with DJ's class to the zoo. OH, it was just crazy! When I get there I find out that not only do I have to watch DJ but I have two other boys to make a group of four kids to watch. When I signed the paper for DJ to go to the zoo the paper said parents HAD to attend in order for the kids to go to the zoo....that wasn't true. Then we also find out that the two teachers in his class are not watching any kids. They just wandered around the dang place. I hooked up with another mother so, we had 5 boys to keep an eye on. Two of them just wouldn't listen. By the end of the day I was beat. I can only imagine what my parents went through with all of us kids. The weather was awesome.Over 70 and my face and top of my head got a bit red. It was fun to see the boys react to all the animals. Aside from yelling, boys, boys...stop running, watch out for other kids and people, Tyler B. OVER HERE! LOL! I did have a good time. I took DJ and the other boys back to the bus and hopped in my car and went home. Da'rel was a peach. He was so awesome. I didn't have any problems with him or DJ. I know it's hard at 6 years old to listen especially when they are so full of energy and want to run. I sure hope they didn't think I was a hag. I brought snacks and then gave them each a special treat when we were leaving. The little guys did give me a hug and thanked me for watching them. Did make me feel better Smile
I just know I will NEVER do that again! LMAO!!!

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A sweet poem...I sent it do De'Juan...he'll think I am after something but I am not! Just being nice Smile

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Here are my boys! Oh, I just love them! So cute!!

It was taken on Da'rel's first birthday :occasion18:

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I woke up around 6am yesterday. I started cleaning and made beds, washed sheets/pillow cases, cleaned bathroom(cleaned tub, toilette,sink,floor), cleaned kitchen, dishes, sweepted and mopped, did several loads of laundry, vacuumed, cleaned my room and picked up the kids room....all before 9am! Yish! I was working like crazy. Put the baby down for a nap....and took a shower. I was beat yesterday.

Now, baby is napping and I already had a shower early this morning. I have been to the store and picked up a gift for my brother. I am planning on going to Aberdeen to see my parents tomorrow. I will leave the kids home. I know they will miss me but dang I need a break! Smile

I had some pictures of us kids blown up. One is so cute..it's Zach, Steve and I in our under-roos! I am not sure where Justin was at. I am pretty sure they will get a kick out of it. My step-mom was thrilled when I called and beyond happy. I feel so bad for them. Brother isn't doing so hot. He wont get up and move around. Last time the doctors warned him he could get a blood clot and that made him finally get up and start therapy but this time he doesn't care. He has a doctors appointment in about an hour and mom was hoping the doctor could tell her what is going on and what they need to do to get him motivated. Possibly get him on some kind of drug or some ensure. He has no energy. I bet it comes to a point where they have to force him to get up. He's just wilting away in his bed. Anyway, I am praying for him and his recovery. I hope he will open up when I get there. He did the time before and after I left he started to exercise and do more for himself.

I got another field trip notice from DJ's teacher. This time they are going to Washington Park. Ofcourse I can only go if I take Da'rel and this paper says NO siblings. I felt bad. Then again the letter to the zoo said the same thing. I will talk with the teacher again. I swear I wasn't going to do this again. I just don't want DJ to miss out. I am gluten for punishment! I KNOW! LOL! Smile

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Gosh, I have been waiting to post a reply....not sure why things are so slow? Anways, I was going to post a picture of me and DH but while waiting my mom just called to say my grandma has had a stroke. She's not doing well. Grandma lives on the coast here in Oregon but it's still about 2 hours or more away from me. Mom and my aunts are on their way. I am going to wait and see what the diagnosis is and go up on Monday. Hopefully mom will call with some GOOD news tonight or early tomorrow morning.

I am praying for you grandma!!

*UPDATE* Grandma is stable. Not knocking on deaths door at the moment. Not sure what the long term is going to be but she's still with us and I am VERY happy*

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Mine and DH's story:

We met in January 1996....My girlfriend was dating his best buddy. They were on the fritz and she and he were going to Seattle and didn't want to be alone with each other so, she invited me and he invited De'Juan. De'Juan really annoyed me at first. He talked and talked...yack, yack! I kept looking out the car window wishing I had stayed home and went to a party I was planning on going before. Anway, we went out later that night. See when I first met him I was just out of the shower in a sweat suit with wet hair and no make up. Pretty sight huh??!! LOL!! So, he was shocked to see me dressed up Smile Can't judge a book by it's cover...the cover can change Wink

I eventually was impressed with him when I found out we both had worked for the airlines...Him United, me United Express...different airports...him LAX, Me PDX. So, we hung out...enjoyed the sights of Seattle and went home.

I ran into De'Juan and his best buddy in the mall a week later. I was with my twin brother Steve. I said hi. They said hi but looked at me as if Steve was my boyfriend. SURE enough De'Juan did think that. My girlfriend was like...is the guy over 6'7....and De'Juan was like no?? Then my friend said then that wasn't her EX boyfriend...it was one of her brothers.

Once De'Juan heard that then he called me:

He said, "What ya getting into?"....What the hell does that mean, I was thinking?? It really freaked me out. Anyway, we chatted and planned for a date. We went out for our first date...Feb 16, 1996. We had a great time. He comes home and mystep- mom looks at him and says SIMPSON!! She already knew him. His ex girlfriend worked with her. As you can imagine it caused some small problems....his ex would tell my mom all kinds of lies. Anyway, to shorten this story up we fell in love...and made it official April 27, 1996.......Feb 16, 1997...one year from our first date we had DJ Smile I didn't find that out until after I had DJ and I was writting in my journal. I went WAY back to read previous post and found it and noticed the date. I was thinking this must be fate Smile

Here is a picture of us....on a mini vaction to Vancouver, BC (bc...before children...LOL)

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Well, weekend was ok. I ended up going to see my parents by myself. Boys stayed home. It was a nice break. My parents are stressed and it wouldn't have been good for the boys to be around all the dang tention. Brother seemed well. Although I called yesterday and mom says they are trying to get him back to the hospital because they think his shunt his starting to fail again....he's getting the symptoms. Not sure what came of it...they haven't called to say what's up. I pray and pray that he's going to get better.

So, yesterday I made over my entire room. I painted the walls white then on one wall painted a color of blue and put new bedding on, made some long curtains, matching new picture frames, new vase filled with lots of pretty (fake) flowers, added a full length mirror. I moved my dresser a bit and it opened up some more space between the bed and dresser. I cleaned up my room the day before. Looks good if I do say so myself. I should have done before and after pics. It only took me from 8am til noon. Painting didn't take that long and made a HUGE difference.

My dad got me TONS of flowers so, I have planted about 9 of them and still have about 9 more left to plant. I have got the front yard flower beds pretty much covered. Thinking the other plants will go in the back yard just off the patio. Who knows. The weather was great yesterday. Low 70's but enough for my shoulders to burn slightly while driving.

House is clean and. I just need to fold some laundry, go to the store and post office. I haven't taken a shower yet. Too busy. Baby napping...so, I should go take care of me while I can Smile

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So, I called my parents this afternoon...since when I spoke to mom yesterday they were trying to get Zach back up to the hospital...sooner than his Friday appointment. Turns out she took him back up early this morning. His shunt was draining too quickly. I guess they use some kind of magnets to fix it. Thankfully no surgery! I just pray and pray for my little brother. To be going through what he is at 26 just doesn't seem right.

I fought with DJ for a bit last night. Getting him to finish all his home work has been a struggle lately. De'Juan has been NO help! I say babe can you help DJ tonight...I am just plum worn out...but he wont so, I have to. I feel bad for DJ. He does try hard but he needs a vacation! LOL! He did a great job at soccer practice. No fits and worked as a team Smile That's my boy!

The weather was so awesome today! High 70's so I was outside cleaning up my back porch and potting a bunch more flowers. I must say it looks fab! I have five hanging pots and eight taracotta pots filled with different flowers and varying sizes and it looks great. I edged the grass along the pattio and pulled weeds out of the flower beds and planted some more flowers. My veg plants are finally getting the sun they need. They were looking mighty sad. I don't think we have any plans this weekend but if we do the back yard is in tip top shape.

So, while outside I was chatting with my neighbor lady. I pointed out that most the houses on our streets are rentals so, you can just guess how the folks act and treat the home and property. Like SHIT! It's disgraceful! She was telling me that since they are tearing down a low income complex called the Columbia Villa the folks on our blocks are leaving their homes and taking steps so they can rent to section 8. We are talking about 4-5 homes on my street alone so, the traffic on this block has gotten crazy. Some people look fine while others make me worry. My neighbor was telling me that she keeps to herself. I said that we do too...aside from her. There are only three people on our block who actually own their homes. We wanted to move but we cant get what we would like for this place. We were hoping/praying that other home owners would start fixing up these house...shoot you can tell none of them have been painted since they were built back in 1980.....but since they are rentals the owners wont put that kind of money into them. Our other neighbor...who DJ plays with her kids just had her second dog stolen from her fenced in yard...her fence is over 6ft. Who knows! I am always uneasy at night no matter where I am at but with the way this neighborhood has been lately you can't be too careful! Boys are sleeping so, now is my time to start the laundry.

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I am still so mad right now. We have been members of Costco for over three years now. I HATE going. I normally will not go. It's too much of a hastle and too packed so DH goes. I asked him this morning what time they open. I needed to get diapers for Da'rel. He tells me 9am..I get there and it's actually 10am. We only waited 30mins or so, I get up to the greeter gal and she tells me cuz I am a gold card member I can't get in until 11am. Now, why on earth doesn't the sign on the outside of the store reflect that? We paid 100$ last year for our renewal...we still have NO idea why...but I am not going to pay anymore than the 45$...I wont pay more so I can get into that fucking store one hour early! It's a bunch of shit if you ask me! I HATE that place I HATE that fucking place! So, I skipped on over to Target and got what I needed there. I got home and told DH that I plan on NEVER going again.....he can go! I tell you I can't stand that place.

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I was paying bills last week...and noticed that I hadn't gotten our Qwest bill....so, I look back to see when I paid it last and I couldn't find April's bill...so, I call only to find we hadn't paid it in about two going on three months...BUT we haven't gotten a bill!!! He said he was sending another copy and I should get it by Friday...man, I don't want to know how much it's going to cost. DH's business phone is on this bill...I bet it's going to be about 500$.....I feel sick!

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Yesterday after the baby went down for his morning nap I went outside and did some digging. My flowerbeds blend in with the grass and so I had to dig to get some thick weeds out of the flower beds. I racked up most the bark chips and put new soil down then I put down some perennial wildflower seeds. I sure hope they come up. My other plants are doing well. I need to plant some more flowers I grew from seeds...more dasies...I am going to wait and see for just a bit. I got in after about two hours or more outside and found that I missed the back of my arms when putting on the sun block and now it's burnt and stings badly! I slept with ice on my arms and took some pain reliever. I am miserable but my yard looks awesome! LOL! The neighbors were staring at me. I am sure they haven't seen someone work this hard on a yard before....I wanted to yell....spend less time on your cars and you too can have a nice yard! That'll never happen!

Tomorrow I go with DJ's class to Washington Park...I sure hope I don't end up babysitting kids. I like watching my own but not 10 other kids. I did buy a bunch of snacks and drinks so, I can atleast get their attention! LOL! Bribe them would food...works everytime! LOL! I am looking forward to this trip. I think it'll be fun for everyone. I like being able to spend time with DJ and his classmates. They call me DJ's Mom! LOL!

The weather has been AWESOME! High 80's....there is a nice wind off the Columbia River so, the house is fairly cool at night. We do have our fans going. 30 mins and the boys are in bed! Yahoo! They are finishing up watching Ice age. It is a cute movie. Had me in tears at the end Smile

I seem to be a tiny bit crabby today. The boys just whine about each other. If DJ is near Da'rel he will scream bloody murder...that lets me know that DJ is doing something...could be good could be bad....and they yell and cry non stop somedays. Today is one of those days. DH isn't expected back home until well after they are in bed. Sad I got me some afternoon lov'n' so I am good to go Smile LOL! But I would like his help in getting them ready for bed! I don't always like to do it all myself!

Off to give the baby a bath ......water my plants....give DJ a bath...start some laundry....fold some laundry....pick up toys and etc around the house before I plant my butt on the couch and watch something on tv! LOL!

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The park was fun. The people from News Channel 8 were there....I made my way to the otherside of the playground...I wasn't going to take any chance! LOL! The weather has been awesome. Thankfully it's cooler today but suppose to be high 70-80's over the weekend and next week. Perfect weather. Not too hot not too cold and my flowers will thrive.

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DH is working from home today so, I have been busy cleaning. Have done most the laudry...weeded the flower beds...scrubbed the bathroom, cleaned rooms...vaccumed and dishes.

So, on to more pressing issues. I have a younger brother who is 19 and my mom called me on Friday to announce that he has been arrested. Sad My heart just sank. Not just arrested but hauled several hours away to a FEDERAL court house! Sad He and three friends have did a very bad thing...thankfully no one was killed but he's looking at doing some serious time in a Federal Pen. Sad I am so disappointed in him but still love him. He is so smart (yet so stupid) he finished HS and got his AA from college the same week. He has had good job and was looking to get an even better one with the city. Ah, I know he's not so much worried about the jail time than he is with if his family & friends still caring for him. OF COURSE! Now, I know what it feels like. You see someone on tv who's loved one as killed/hurt someone and they say they will stand by them and still love them. That's how I feel. With my brother , the three other people sang like birds and it looks as if brother may do the most time. I don't agree with that but agree he has to pay the price. His lawyer, who has skills, just hopes that Chris isn't made the example of . He told my mom that brother is guilty and the FBI/ATF have proof....which he shared with my mom. Oh, that's another thing....my brother was arrested by the ATF. He lives a block from his work and early in the morning(Friday) on his way they jumped out of every place and took him down. Scared the living shit out of him I know. It sure would if it were me!

So, DH is taking this Friday off so my mother and I will drive up to Tacoma for brother's hearing. There is a slim chance he could be released into mom's custody....or not...we have hope but it's slim and we understand if he has to stay. I just want to tell him that I love him and that I will be there for him. No matter what! Oh, 'Fer-fer'(my nick name for him) what have you done!!!!??? I pray and pray that he's in good health and mental health. This will be life altering but he can make it!

Sorry, I didn't go into more details but I didn't think it would be appoprate.

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I have been so crabby lately. Mostly towards DH. He's been acting like an ass. He tells me the other day after we figure out who's going to watch the boys what car to drive. I look at him like he's crazy. We have three cars and the oldest is a Nissa Sentra...It's a great car but the drivers seat is damn near ready to fall off ....only one bolt holding that sucker on and I am like HELL no am I driving that car three hours with the way it's been...you can't lean back in the seat . So, we argue about that. If he wants something done he asks me. Ok, fine I do it. Then when I ask him it NEVER gets done NEVER. I am so annoyed right now. I am taking a shower this morning. He comes in to bother me ofcourse. He starts in on the "you shouldn't have taught Da'rel how to say boobs" Ah, big FING deal....so he's going on and on about other things I say and I just had it and said is this gonna be another bash Stephanie day cuz I really don't want to hear it. He storms out of the bathroom. GOOD! I can't stand him. He wants me to be like his cousins wife....she feeds her husband...and doesn't complain...I say god gave you hands and fingers feed your damn self! Shit what do I look like? I cook, clean, take care of the boys and it never fails he will go off on me if I ask him to help....his favorite line...I WORK! Like I don't. Right there tells me he must think my job is worthless. Forget the fact that he doesn't lift a finger around here (accept to mow the lawn) but he works harder than me. Ah, kiss my ass! I say! I am sure when he gets home...even it being 95 outside I have to cook tonight. He wants me to be in the kitchen slaving over the hot stove.

I swear I don't know what's wrong with me but I despise that man right now!

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I still don't like DH much but I am feeling much better Smile

Brother was let out of the Federal Detention Center on Friday. What a relief. I am telling you it was freaking being in the court room. The U.S. Attorney gets up and starts saying Why my brother should be kept in jail. Man, he was painting a terrible picture and I was thinking NO way is she (the judge) going to let him out...HELL NO! My brother was thinking the SAME thing! LOL! He didn't know that mom and I were going to be there. He also didn't know that this hearing could possibly set him free. He was shocked and happy when the judge agreed with his lawyer. Who at first we thought was a public defender but turns out he's not. It shows! He is a sharp dresser and very quick wit! So, the outcome may not be 10 years and a 10k fine! We shall see.

The weekend was ok. I am just so tired of being asked over and over again the same question. I said I will do it later this evening. He asks again! I went crazy! I ask him to do one thing....cut the boys hair...I asked back in March...NO JOKE....he just did it on Sunday...it's now JUNE! I said he nags more than any female I know. I told him from now on I am going to do what he does. See how he likes it. Jerk! He finally got somethings for the house. They have to be installed but atleast he's getting somethings done. Our new storm doors and fence should be in by the end of the weekend...I HOPE!

DJ's last day of school is today. He says mom after today I am a first grader! LOL! You sure are honey! He's been great! He has soccer today. His last game in Saturday. I am happy about that Smile Baby has a slight nose cold. He's been kind of crabby! He comes by it honestly! LOL! I am tired. Need to clean my house Smile

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I just get out of the shower...DH comes in...Hey, babe....Yea? (I say) We need to talk. I am thinking...Ok (what have I done) He says next time you take $$ out of savings let me know ok? I said I only took 40$ just to make sure I had enough for groceries....He says still you need to tell me. I say to him Have you taken $$ out of savings? He says NO BUT I found a reciept that he took 20$ out and it says savings instead of checking. He gets paid next week and I will put the $$ back. * I hate shit like this* It's fking ok for him but not me? ASS! Ofcourse the next time I do that I am not gonna say a word! Why should I? He doesn't! That's because he's the man and he works....he has every right to it and what about me? I have been applying like mad to weekend jobs. I NEED to get out of this house....away from HIM! I swear I just want to hit him. Grab a cast iron frying pan and beat the shit out of him! He's been driving me THAT crazy! I am getting mad just typing this! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The kids are doing well. Both are taking a nap Smile I took them to the library yesterday and today took them to the store and later this afternoon we will go to the park. Now that it's summer I would LOVE it if they would sleep in...NOT! Crap, we had our showers and dressed and cleaned kitchen by 8:15am....I can hear DJ in his room...but as long as he is quiet I don't care if he's not napping.

I cooked dinner and cleaned and put the kids to bed and went out to my flower beds last night. I stay out there until it's dark...9:30pm. I did a bunch of work... weeding, churning the dirt and pruning. I watered the crap out of them. All seem to be doing well. My poppies were looking sad but I kept watering and now the four plants are in full bloom and are very pretty. Smile Working in my front garden and my back porch garden really relax me....It gives me time to think and work things out in my mind. Exercising does the same thing but I can't bring myself to run on my bike. I NEED too! My gut,butt and legs are looking mighty sad! LOL!

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Today I took the boys to Oaks Park. They had a great time. DJ was the only one to ride any rides. Da'rel won't have a thing to do with any of it. He would rather sit back and watch everyone else and snack on food Smile Hey that's fine by me. The weather was odd...the sun would come out and I could feel my face burning and then clouds would come in and it would sprinkle and then warm up again. Yish wish it would make up it's damn mind....kind of reminds me of a man I know! LOL! Tomorrow is DJ's last soccer game of the spring season and then a birthday party right after for my girlfriend's daughter. DJ is looking forward to it. So am I. I get to visit with my best friend and her parents who I LOVE! Smile

I am so tired. I managed to cook, clean, run to town, water my flowers do the laudry and give myself a pedicure and manicure all in just under two hours. While I was ironing our clothes for tomorrow DH has to make a shitty commet! I wish I could just punch him in his teeth! :evil: I hate thinking or feeling like this but he does NOTHING but make things worse. I am ironing our clothes so we don't look like shit! These shirts were hung dry so they are very wrinkled and this is the first time in ages I can dress up (cassual) for a change! Most days I look like shit. I either don't have the time to do my hair or I do my hair and my clothes look like crap!

Anyway, I wanted to do a few more chores before I go to bed ....I like to wake up to a clean house....tomorrow is one busy day and I wont have time in the morning for cleaning.

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So, last week at DJ's soccer practice a mother of one of the kids in DJ's class asked me why I wasn't at the Kindergarten graduation ceremony? I said WHAT????!!!!!!!! I guess his teacher only invited a 'few' of the parents to this thing. DJ got five awards and one of them was having turned his homework in on time all year. Only three other kids got this...out of two Kindergarten classes. I was mad as hell to say the least. Shoot, this teacher KNOWS we are very involved with his school work and everytime they have awards assemblies I go. (except the time DJ told me not to come) I still can't believe it. How rude. I say if your not going to invite everyone then don't invite anyone. Jerk!

Well, the weather is awesome! About 85. I am waiting for my mom to call. She is having some dye injected into her spine and I have to take her home afterwards. I am not sure when she is going to call. I need to run to the store after the baby gets up from his nap. I don't want to get home and see that I missed her call! What to do, what to do!

I am getting off to let DJ on Smile He loves to get on the computer and play his games Smile

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After picking up mom and taking her home we had dinner and visited with my younger brother and sister. The weather has been so awesome! After dinner I took the kids to my girlfriends house. She has two kids the same age as mine. We stayed there for a few hours and came home around 9pm or so. Both boys were knocked out. Smile Da'rel is napping now and DJ is watching Star Wars epi 2. We have been outside since 9am and everyone is tired. DJ is going to be gone this evening with some friends Smile Ah, a nice little break for me Smile DH has been yacking about working up in Seattle leaving this weekend and being gone all week. I am thinking fine by me....BUT, I am NOT staying around this house. I am gonna take the boys some place....could be my dads....I would like to take them to the beach and to visit my brother who has horses. I am sure they would enjoy that. I can't wait to take them camping this summer. My mom just bought a motor home and it will be fun going with her.

Well, house is clean and laudry is done. I think I am going to hop into the shower and wash off this dang sun block.

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These are some pictures of DJ that my girlfriend took yesterday when she and her hubby took her daughter and DJ to play in the water. The weather was awesome! He had a great time. She also took him out for pizza. He LOVES spending time with Kailyn and below is a picture of them together:

Last week DJ lost another front tooth so, we call him Mr. Toothless! He looks so cute! Atleast I think so! LOL! He's been very patient with me today. I am waiting for the baby to wake up from his nap so, I can take him to the park to play Smile

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So, DH is off in Seattle and I am still home! Well, I have been taking the kids places and keeping busy. Took the boys to the park and Mcdonalds yesterday.

Today we went to the mall and had some lunch and took the kids to Tilt. DJ had a great time. When we first got there the lady that works there asked about the boys. Saying their skin color was beautiful...and I agree...so, as we were leaving and DJ was cashing in his tickets she gave him EXTRA candy and toys...over 12 more things! She kept saying they were so good and so cute and DJ kept saying thank you and so did Da'rel! LOL! First time the boys ever got anything for being cute! Too bad she didn't give back the $$ I spent! Now that would have been cool! LOL!

FINALLY we are having our new storm door installed tomorrow! Shoot we bought and paid for them plus paid for the install over a week ago. I had to call Home Depot several times. Now, tomorrow afternoon is going to be very noisy! We have a solid iron door on the back door and that has to be cut off. I hope it goes smoothly and that there are no problems!

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On Friday we must have gotten five calls in less than 30 mins! By the last call I was getting pissed! LOL! No one ever calls us! So, I pick up the phone and it's my mom...she's crying. My brother Zach is going down hill fast. I tell them to call 911. Mom, I said call so, he can get seen and shipped back up to Seattle quicker than normal. I spoke to my brother who I had just seen in May and he was walking, talking, eating, laughing. He looked tired and felt tired but was alive. Now, my brother can't walk, talks(very slowly) and sometimes doesn't even answer you,can't sit up, Has absolutly NO control over his body! Has that wide open gaze with his eyes and he doesn't blink. It's so freaking creepy! So, Saturday I get up and DJ and I drive to my twin brother's house and from there we drive to Seattle. Beating my parents by an hour or so.

My poor brother is in a room in the ER and I ask if he needs some water. You see for several days he hasn't ate or drank anything because he's been vomitting. So, he has an IV and hooked up to machines...thankfully his bp is stable and fine...so, I help him drink some water and turn the tv to ESPN Smile He just reeks! He hasn't been able to sit or stand to take a shower so, he's had sponge baths but he still stunk!!! Anyway, the doctors have NO clue what's going on. His brain tumor is no longer there. He has a whole in the center of his brain and the spinal fluid isn't sticking around for very long before it's drained so, that's on the low side. What they did tell my parents is that it's either a stroke or affects from his radiation treatment. His last treatment was the 2nd of May. Mom has taken him back twice to the doctors because he started going down hill fast. They told her twice that this is how he's going to be. NOW, they say he's sick...very sick and they don't know why! It pisses me off that they treat my parents like an over reacting first time mom....when they see something happening they are on top of it...getting him to the docs and the docs say nothing is the matter. HELLO??!! Does he have to die for them to say....oh-k...maybe there is something else going on. You can stab the bottom of brothers feet (and we watched the nurse do this) and his foot didn't even flinch! That's NOT suppose to happen! Steve and I did crack a joke...saying the doctor would have to clean that instrament...making fun of Zach's long toes....and there is my brother Zach laying in a bed unable to move...literally trapped in his body....smile a HUGE smile. I can't imagine how he is feeling. What this must be like for him. Today he did take food in for the first time in six days. It was that or get a feeding tube. I can't tell you how it is to see him like that. I just want to cry!! We make jokes and brother will smile. I keep seeing his face and his eyes.....I just want to cry!!

Hang on brother, hang on!!! You can pull though I know you can!!

I have no desire to do a damn thing. I cleaned like a mad woman when I got home yesterday but today I haven't done a damn thing! I started the laundry and dishes....it's 11:30pm. I think I am going to stay up late and finish. De'Juan is away in Seattle. He's suppose to be gone all week but called today to say he might be home tomorrow...That's good but we won't be here. I am taking the boys to visit my best buddy for the night! LOL! I am tired of sitting around. I want to get out and talk to someone! Smile

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Wow, it's been just beautiful here! Yesterday morning I left and took the boys to visit my best friend. She lives about an hour south of here just past Salem. Her son is four and so DJ and Ethyn love to play together and the get along perfectly it's really funny! Wink She and I watched 'Just Married' and 'The hours'...I LOVED Just married but was disappointed in the movie the hours. It wasn't what I expected it to be. Anyway, we chatted and didn't get to be until after 1am and my boys are early risers and were up at 6am! Ugg!!! My eyes burn and feel swollen! LOL! We both had HUGE bags under our eyes. I should have stayed one more day and went shopping but I had to get home in order to get some sleep! The baby has been so crabby! He has these awful fits. He will scream, yell, kick anything in his way all over something minor.....like part of his popcicle falling on the ground! ??? I have no clue?!!

De'Juan still gone. I am glad. I like having some alone time. I miss the help that he does give. I would have loved to come home to him here and just hand the kids over and go take a long nap! I did clean this place before I left so it was nice coming home to a clean house! I think I will hit the hay early and get up so, we can do some shopping. I need somethings. DH bought himself a VERY expensive camera...a new hobby he says...so, my new hobby is SHOPPING...this time just for me....I need a few pairs of shorts, shirts, capris and some sandals. It wont cost much....since I will go to Target or OldNavy...buy things that are on sale Smile I am sure if I bribe the boys I can get them to behave for an hour or so Smile Bad, Stephanie! I know;)

Spoke with my mom tonight. My brother is about the same. He can eat but he has to be fed. They are treating him for Parkinson's since he has similar symptoms to that disease so, he's on meds for that and mom says it's help just a tad....to calm the shaking down. He has a new team of specialist looking at his case and they were in a meeting when mom and I last spoke. Someone did mention this could be brain damage caused by his radiation. I didn't realize that radiation could do this. Mom doesn't buy that....I am not sure if I do either. Just want to know what the hell is causing this and what does he have to do to get better. Hoping to know something soon!

Well, I am off to finish some laundry and pray!

I just want to say one more thing....I read several journals on here and I pray for you gals! I think others do to....just know that I am thinking of you.

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Well, the weather has been awesome. We went to the coast (Astoria, Longbeach) over the weekend. Then took a walk along the Columbia River so, DH could take some pics of the river, Mt Hood, the airplanes taking off. It was a good weekend.

DH left for Idaho for a few days. He will be flying/traveling all over the place for work. I think it would be fun. So, while he's gone we are going to visit my mom & girlfriend tomorrow. I know the kids will have a blast. I just feel bad for leaving. My brother will have his shunt replaced tomorrow morning and I know my Step-mom would like me up there but the boys won't sit still in a hospital and I just don't think it's fair to them. So, I will visit when he's better OR home. I pray and pray. That's about all I can do.

CONGRATS Lizzy! She is BEAUTIFUL!!!

(Kelli your next! Smile :jumpingbeans:

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We leave for Seattle in the morning. My brother has taken a very bad turn for the worst. This time the doctor says we could loose him. My step-mom is FREAKED out. I think we ALL are! He's in a coma right now and they don't know why. He had to have emergency surgery this morning after the third shunt that was put in yesterday failed. The pressure in his brain was so great the doctors say he might have had a stroke. We will have to see. It seems like it'll never end.

DJ is at my moms this week. This is his first time staying the night away from home. He's doing great. He loves having one on one attention from ANYONE! LOL! He's a great little boy!

The weather has been awesome. Dh worked from home today and when baby napped I went out and worked in my flower beds. I weeded like a crazy woman. I had to do something. Sitting waiting for the phone to ring is pure agony! :cry: I cried a few times. Just the idea of him leaving us is something I just can't bare. He's too young! So many memories of our childhood come to me at once. It's overwhelming! I am able to work out my issues when I am busy doing things. We are suppose to have company over this weekend so, I should get off and start the cleaning process. We are going to catch a tripple A game in Tacoma...on our way home so, Friday I will be working like a crazy lady to get my house spotless!

CONGRATS Sapphire!! I am glad the move went smooth and that your enjoying your new home! I am jealous! Wink I wish my house was brand new Biggrin

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It's been a few days....

So, we saw my brother on the 3rd...it was so sad to see him on life support....worst off was him trying to fight it....gagging and twitching....AWFUL just awful!

He was on life support for about a week. He was weened last week. I went up there this week for three days. He looked so much better. He can follow you with your eyes. If the doctors, nurse, mom/dad ask him to do something...like thumbs up, wiggle toes, etc...he can but he isn't talking. He's still in icu. He had his fifth shunt surgery on Thursday. He did great. He might be moved to the recovery floor sometime this week and then who knows how long he will be there before he is taken to the physical therapy floor. We are concerned about his ability to swallow. If he is able to do that great but if not then it's not good....they are unable to teach that the nurse says. I hope and pray he is able to recover...no matter how long it takes. I don't think my folks could handle him being in the state he is in for the rest of his life. It's a very scary time. But it is better to have him alive than not.

The boys are doing great. The baby is talking more and more. It's so much fun! DJ is enjoying his martial arts class I signed him up for. He goes two hours a day four days a week. It lasts until September.

DH and I aren't getting along. He told me today that I am to get a job by September. It's all up to me to find and pay for daycare. Um...OK!?! I just feel like saying F***K YOU! He makes all our lives miserable. He wants me to do everything he asks with out questions. He wants me to be submissive. HELL NO! I am not sure what I am going to do. I figure I can just leave with the boys. He has been acting like he doesn't want us around. I am tired of always being the one to get yelled at daily. You can't even imagine the war I have to go through in order to go to Seattle to see my brother. We have MAJOR fights about this. He thinks I should just stay home and wait until he's dead before I go...I have this need to be there for my parents. DH doesn't understand. My parents wonder why I am not up there more often. If they only knew it was because of DH they would be LIVID! I would never stop him from seeing his brother if he were ill. I would want him to be there for his family to show support. I guess cuz it's my family he doesn't even give a shit! What great support I have huh?! I have been torn for months and months over this. De'Juan makes it miserable for me when I do go. I am so tired of this. Why didn't I marry a more understanding guy??! Way to go Steph!

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One more day and my MIL will be here for her ten day visit. I am sure I will survive Smile Atleast I HOPE I do! I have been deep cleaning and organizing everything I can get my hands on. My last bit is this desk area and dusting. I am tired! I haven't been able to sleep the last few days...I don't go to bed until 1-3am. It feels like I am high on sugar...I feel so wide awake. I HATE it! I have to get up early and take DJ to his Tae Kwon Do class and I feel like I am dragging. I have been to Target and Safeway so I can stick around the house the rest of the day. I need to scrub my kitchen floor and wipe some of the walls down. I just finished painting...touch up paint. The boys manage to scuff up the walls in their rooms. I must say it does look MUCH better!

"Balls", cried the queen if I had any I'd be the KING! Smile

Ps I have applied at the local PUD....I am calling on daycare tomorrow to find out how much$$. Oh, I know it's going to be an arm and a leg.

Well, better get off and pick up DJ. I wonder what kind of move/kick he has learned today ?? It's so cute to see little kids doing martial arts Smile

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Only 10 more hours and we leave for the airport to pick the woman up! LOL! I can't tell you how much I cleaned yesterday! I have the fridge to clean out and to dust and I am DONE!!! I actually fell asleep at a normal time last night...10pm! Yahoo! Smile

I haven't called on daycare....just being lazy! There never is a quiet moment in this house! The guy is coming to put up our fence today and we ordered new windows and those will take 10days to come in and another to install so hopefully by AUG we will have purdy new windows! Yahoo! Smile

Well, I am off to shower and whatever else I need to do! Smile

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Oh, the last five days have been PURE hell! Man, I had hopes the visit would be good. NOPE! I have been getting lectured about EVERYTHING from how I am growing my flowers to letting DJ get icecream from the icecream man! DH is NO help...infact he has been starting some of this! I can't tell you how mad I am . I am keeping my distance. I don't say much except to defend myslef and then go about my business of cleaning and taking care of the boys.

Kelli I am so excited for you! I was hoping I would get on the next few days and have you post saying you had him! Sounds like he'll be here soon Smile Lots of luck! Smile

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Oh balls! I am tired...so tired of this shit! You know we have a van and with MIL in town Stephanie gets to sit in the far back with the kids! Oh fun! There can only be one woman of the house and right now it's NOT me! It's so embarrassing! Since I have to sit in the back I can't hear one word of their converstaion but if they ask me something I am suppose to SPEAK up! I just say I can't hear a word your saying. DH is seriously in some trouble. I have this feeling like I could leave with the boys tomorrow and I wouldn't be a bit sad! What does that mean? If I could leave him and know I would be happy! So would the boys! Life really sucks right now. Both DH and MIL say things that make me feel like crap. I was just informed yesterday that DH thinks I am a crappy house keeper. Wow! That really made me feel great! I couldn't believe it. I keep this house nice! Sure there might be a day where I need to put laundry away...something he NEVER does but we don't live like pigs and I do keep this house clean. I do laundry daily and dishes. I sweep/mop and vaccum daily.

On top of it all. I called an made an appointment to get my hair cut. I have been waiting ages for this. Then mil comes to town and she had her hair done before she came but she wrecked it and so, he made her an appointment at a hair place my friend goes to and guess what...same day and same time as mine so, guess who had to cancel? I always get the short end of the stick. He doesn't care. I am thinking of calling today and seeing if they can fit me in sometime this weekend. DH was telling me not to since he has all these plans...he can do them WITHOUT me! Why do I need to be there since all I ever get is lectured and treated like I am a piece of dirt!

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Things got a tad better after my last post. Mostly I think because I paid for MIL's trip to the salon...sent me back 50$!! Now, my hair cut wouldn't have cost that much. Anyway, after waiting 4.5 hours I finally picked her up and we took the kids to a place called Oaks Park. It's a great place. It's in these old, old oak trees along the Willamette river...the park has been there since 1905...it's like a carnaval but there aren't any carnies...if ya know what I mean. They don't hound you to come and play the games or ride the rides. The food and novility toys are so cheap!!

Get this. MIL wants to ride the rides with DJ so, we go get her a bracelet. I giver her 2 five dollar bills since it cost 8$ for the bracelet. The crazy cashier gives us back 14$!! We said this isn't right so, we go back up to the same lady to tell her she only owes us 2$ back and she starts trip'n'...like we are trying to tell her how to do her job...shit we just tried to be honest. So, we walked away with more money than we started!! LOL! We had a good time that's for sure. After that things have calmed down. Dont' get me wrong...she still is telling me how to do things but it's not too bad. I am thankful my family isn't like her!! LOL! I would never be around NEVER!

She leaves tomorrow..so less than 24 hrs left Smile That makes me very happy!

Off to do some laundry and start the dishwasher.

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CONGRATS Kelli & family! What a BIG boy!!

Ding-Dong The 'Witch' is gone! Is all I have to say! LOL! Life can return to normal and my husband can finally be deprogramed! LOL!

It's been HOT, HOT here the last few days. I think it'll be less than the 100 it was yesterday! Thankfully we don't have humidity like other states Smile

Well, DJ is at his Akido classes and baby is watching Dora. Better get off and eat something! And be off to the park for a bit! Smile

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Are new windows are going to be put in tomorrow! Yea! We are finally getting things done around here! We have our back yard fenced in...6ft fence all around...feels safer somehow....Our new doors have been on less than a month and now the windows. I have cleaned up the house....so the installer doesn't think we live like pigs. He's suppose to be here by 7am and since we only have six windows (four the same size & 1 very LARGE living room window and 1 small bathroom window) I am hoping it won't take long. DH will work from home tomorrow but the boys and I are off to a much needed break from DH to see family. My parents, brothers, my grandparents and aunts! It should be a fun yet busy weekend.

I took the boys to the park today. We picked up DJ's best buddy..Tyler and had lunch at the park. They played for several hours and I took T home and went home and put the baby down for a nap. I cleaned the house early this morning so I got a chance to relax...then I realized I need to clip dead flowers and collect seeds from my other flowers and the next thing I know it's time to cook dinner and get Da'rel up from his nap. Dang time flys sometimes!

Our bags are packed kids have had baths and in bed. I have some laundry to do and ironing and I am ready to SLEEP!

I am off to have a good weekend!

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Well, the weekend was ok. I drove a lot! It takes just over two hours to get to my parents house. Then the next day mom and I drove to where my brother is at...some dirty ass nursing home! That took 2 hours to get to and then 2 hours back! I was tired as hell! Brother isn't doing so well. I feel so bad for him. He is a strong man that's for sure. He's back in the hospital for a fever of 104 and not sure what the cause is. Just waiting to hear from my parents. They are awful about updating us.

The kids have been good and full of energy! I am not sure what we will do today. Our new windows look great. I am so happy with them!

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