Thread: Surviving.... somehow

No more going to bed early. Thats it. Final Decision. This child was definitely not made for an early bedtime. At least, not yet. He fell asleep once again and 6:30 and because DH and I were both feeling... more frisky than usual, we let him sleep. Well then he was up half the night, and guess who was up with him? Moi. Yep, me. Oy vey. If he wouldn't be so needy in the middle of the night, it wouldn't be that bad. During the day he's a very independent baby. He likes to be in his swing and packnplay. He doesn't want to be held 24/7 and as much as I like holding him, I like having him be independent too because it means I can do things, like be on here, or clean my house (yeah right, like that ever gets done). But at night, its a completely different story. He wants to be held, he wants to be rocked, he wants to be walked, he wants his butt to be patted, and it's flat out exhausting.
So last night from 2:30 till 5:00 I walked and I rocked and I patted the butt until he was finally calm enough to put into his crib. He still didn't sleep, but at least he wasn't crying. I heard him talking on the monitor for a half hour. At 5:30 he began crying. DH got up, but all he did was stick the pacifier back in his mouth and come back to bed. Come 6:00 guess whose wide awake and hungry. I'll give you a clue, it wasn't me and it wasn't DH either. I listened to him scream for two minutes before I finally started getting out of bed. DH said he'd do it, but by then, I was already out of the bed and halfway to the door. What was the point? It's just frustrating.
At least I got to bed early last night again. But its not as if DH was up all night with him either. He was asleep at 10:30. I know he was because I woke up at 10:30 to get a drink of water and he was sitting there snoring louder than a hacksaw. So annoying. One of these days, the baby will start sleeping through the night, thats some consolation, but I know when that happens, my timer will start going off for another baby. So much for ever sleeping again. Like I said, I'm surviving.... somehow.

I'm still exhausted. I think its something other than the baby. I think I better check on that anemia test the doctor ordered. I'm sooo tired. DH took Patrick all night last night. Not that the baby was up much according to him, I wouldn't know, I was out like a light. But here it is, not five hours later, and I'm still completely exhausted. I don't understand this.

I found another wonderful thing. Dishwashers. He was acting hungry so I gave him his bottle, he ate one ounce and fell asleep. I know full well that if I put him down, he'll wake up. He has done this probably 7 times already this morning. Feed, fall asleep, put him down, SCREAM!!! Its a well known routine. So since the dishwasher was running, I placed his carseat in front of that and put him in there. One hour later and he's still sleeping. Life is good when baby sleeps. I have some time to myself to breathe, to do little things, and to relax.

I had talked to my friend "D" about watching Patrick six months ago when she decided to be a sahm to her two and soon to be three children. Well last week she cancelled on me. She said she just couldn't run her husbands business from home, take care of the kids, and have an extra baby. Well that, to say the least "totally sucked". So I started looking at infant day cares. I found one that took infants nearby and I know by reputation and I made an appointment for today. I called because life with a baby is hectic and I couldn't remember whether the appt was for 9:30 or 10:30, thats when I found out, the one I made the appointment for, doesn't take infants. There is another one near where DH works which would be good that could possibly take him but they want you to make an appointment at least one day in advance. That could be a problem. I have to take care of my grandfather the other four days a week. I only have Wednesdays to myself.
I called them but the director wasn't in yet. So I get to call yet again in a few minutes to see if they can squeeze me in to meet them later on today. I had my whole day planned, and now, its all gone to pieces. What a mess. One thing I will say, being a mom is NEVER boring.

Thats it. I'm not sending him to daycare. Not for a while at least. That place was horrible. It was disgusting. It was not fit for my child thats for sure. I walked in and I walked all the way to the back without anyone stopping me. Then when I finally met the director she didn't ask me my name or his name or anything. She had me fill out a form and walked me back to the infant room. It was to put it in the words of my friends three year old "ACUSTING". Totally disgusting. The swings looked like they'd seen far too many kids. The diaper pad was ripped. The cirbs looke old and outdated like kids could have slipped through so they wrapped hard plastic around it and they wanted $393.00 a week for this place? I do not think so. That was not a place I was willing to leave my child.
My cousin is graduating HS this year and has agreed to watch him over the summer. Yay. Then when that ends my sister can watch him during college hours and Beth (my cousin) can continue to watch him in the afternoons. At least the prices will be reasonable and he'll be somewhere I trust. Either at their houses or my house. After yesterdays experience I am not willing to leave him anywhere I am unfamiliar, at least not for a few more years.

Vaccinations are HORRIBLE. Can't they come up with a better way of doing them? Prefferably something without shots? My poor baby is sooo completely miserable. He's so sore and theres nothing else I can do but hold him and give him kisses. I gave him more tylenol but it doesn't seem to be helping him much. I wish there was something, anything I could do to help his pain. I hate seeing him like this.
On top of it, DH has got a terrible cold. So I get full time responsibility for the next week and pray to God that I don't get it. DH sounds horrible. I called him after the appointment and he sounds so stuffy and yucky. I offered to go get him and have to work only a half day but he wanted to stick it out. Probably better this way anyways. At least now he isn't infecting Patrick. I'm banishing him to our room for a few days. I'll have to take on more feedings and diaper changes but it will be worth it if I can keep Patrick from getting sick.

I don't think I can keep Patrick from getting sick, because I can't avoid my baby. I've got it. Luckily I don't think it's as bad as DH's cold, either that or DH is a huge baby. My throat does hurt and I've got a slight congested issue going on, but it could definitely be worse. I'm hoping it doesn't get worse than this. I'd take echinechea but with my chrons disease I heard that you shouldn't so I'll stay away from that. I hope this is as bad as it gets. If it is, I'll be okay. I didn't even have to take cold pills today, thats how mild it is thus far.

Remember how I said DH was a baby? I take that back. This thing knocked me down flat yesterday. I could barely function. I was dizzy, I felt rotten all day long, I was running a temperature, I was soooo sick. Today I'm pretty sure Patrick is showing signs of it. He's not sleeping so good and eating more than usual which is a sign that he wants to be comforted. I just finally got him out of his pyjamas but I put hinm into another sleeper. Its just easier when he's not feeling well.

We're still all under the weather but beginning to show signs of normalcy again. I didn't sleep well last night because of my cold. I was too congested to sleep. Plus I'm on my period again. Oh joy. I just finished with mine two weeks ago. I hate my body. I hate how it operates. I am seriously going to talk to my mw about new birth control and getting the depo shot. I just can't handle the periods twice a month. It's ridiculous. People should not have to deal with this. I'm so tired of being anemic and sick all the time, and I'm positive the 90% of it is being n my period so often.
Patrick is gorwing faster and faster. He's almost fitting into his 0-3 month clothes all the wa. He's so long but sooooo skinny that I just laugh. I know my friends kids at 3 months were chunky little monkeys. Not this little guy. At three months he's going to look like a string bean.

Okay I have no idea what this thing is. My husband copied it, so if I don't like it, I may delete it. Lets see.



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