Jen I just read your Journal from first page until now... yours is the only journal i have read.... anyways you amaze me every time you speak about your ttc journey... you are such an emotional being and you always have the most beautiful things to say whether you're talking about the littlest things like temps and opks or the biggest things - Kylie, you have beautiful words and reading your journal has inspired me! I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts always and especially as you go through these next 9 months!
MUAH! I'm so thankful to have met you!
((HUGS)) I'm wondering if the transvaginal u/s may have caused it hon. Thinking of you
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~
While I am trying to stay hopeful, I'm just scared.
I can't imagine that an u/s would cause bleeding, 2 days after it and that lasts for 4 days. It just doesn't seem right. I did get a smidge of spotting after a few of Kylies but not like this.
I missed a call from our doctor last night but she did say I could come in for another ultrasound to check on the pregnancy if I wanted to...which I do. I called and left a message this morning. I hate phone tag.
The spotting continues today and while everyone keeps telling me "everything will be ok" nobody really knows that. I was trying to think of a way to put it so that other people understand and I came up with this.
The day I lost Kylie, everything was normal, I had no idea that I would have miscarried that day.
So on any given day in this pregnancy, when everything is normal....I'm worried and nervous. So when things AREN'T normal....it terrifies me.
I think I'm just irrational and this whole pregnancy I will be overprotective and overanalyze everything. I think that's just what "after a loss" does to me.
I hope this doesn't come off morbid or depressing but OUR BABY IS ALIVE!!!
I'm not going to lie, I kept trying to think positive yesterday, everytime a sad thought or scenario would come into my head, I would say outloud "NO" and shake it off and think of something positive. So when we went to the doctors office, I was terrified. Seriously.
We waited for quite awhile, probably because they had to squeeze us in. When my doc finally came in, she asked me how I was feeling, did I have any cramping, what was the bleeding like to which I answered nervous and nauseas, yes and about the size of a quarter each day since Saturday. She didn't seem to optimistic but she's kind of hard to read anyways. She decided to take a few swabs to check and see if there was any infection, maybe a yeast infection that could cause some bleeding, when she swabbed she seems pleasantly surprised that there wasn't much blood and went right to the ultrasound. When we saw lil Boo, it was amazing.
First off I will tell you that in my head the scenario would be that I had a missed miscarriage in that either their was only a sac left and no baby or that the baby was still in there with no heartbeat. So when we SAW the baby I immediately looked for the heartbeat..I saw it after only a few seconds and was IMMEDIATELY relieved, I teared up but I didn't sob at this appt.
Knowing that Boo was still in there, still living, still beating away and growing I was just so calmed and comforted. Doc measured CRL (crown to rump length) and it was right on again for 6 weeks, 6 days!! Our baby has doubled in size in the last 4 days and is now 1 CM in length.
sidenote: tell me how its possible to love something so much that I'm in tears everyday thinking about it that is only 1 CM in size. Tell me how a 1CM creature can reek so much havoc in our lives in its tiniest little form. Seriously if I didn't know I was pregnant this last week I would have been sure I was dying of some internal disease causing nausea and exhaustion, moodiness, bloating and constipation constantly day after day and it's 1 centimeter. anywho...
Our doc even got a 3D image of our little pumpkin seed, (don't get too excited, it doesn't look like much yet) but it's definitely there.
Let's see what else. Oh the only weird thing was this "growth" looking thing that the u/s showed. Dr. M noticed and measured it and its the same size as the baby, she said she has seen it on a rare occasion on early ultrasounds, she had no idea what it was but thought it might go away by the next appt so she made a little note to take a peek for it.
We decided to get another blood test done of my progesterone and those results came back this morning as 24, so all is well with that front and the infection swab was negative also. It seems like it just may have been "old blood" that needed to rid itself. I do have some still today but not quite as much as the last few days. so that's also promising.
Ok so before I move on....HERE is our baby (in regular and 3D ultrasound)
oh and I wanted to point out the "growth" thingy or whatever it is...the sac should be nearly round in the pic and the growth sort of makes it like a half moon shape.
I think I'll leave all the other stuff I have for a seperate post. But baby boo is doing great and our next appt is in 19 days where we will get to see our little one once again! I hope this next couple weeks fly by without incident.
I want to thank EVERYONE from the VERY BOTTOM of my heart for all the the prayers, without them, I could have been much worse off and I just want to scream outloud right now "how great is our god?"...seriously, thank you so much for answering my prayers.
oh and "Boo's space" is updated with 7 week info and pics!
Whew, what a relief! Aww, I love little 1 CM Boo!! The 3D ultrasound is cool already. Of course you'd prefer an uneventful pregnancy, but all the extra little peeks at the little monster really are neat. So exciting that you get to see "it" again in just 19 days!
Jen, I'm so happy for you!!! I was so relieved to read this!!! Just think... the bleeding was probably just "little boo" getting all nestled in and comfy! Glad things are ok!!!
Jana & Tom
Kaleigh Morgan ~ March 2, 1997
My Angel Baby ~ 16 weeks ~ June 5, 2008
Rhys Garrett ~ December 23, 2010
My December Space
Thank God everything is fine Jen! I was waiting for this amazing update! I'm still praying for you to meet your LO in October healthy and strong!!! love ya!
Baby Julizah...Born July 1, 2009
April 7, 2007
m/c 4/2008 11w/2d
My July 2009 Space