I'm still here stalking you, it kind of saddens me that we aren't sitting and talking about how our cupcakes are growing so big. I just can't believe how fast Natalie is growing.
I think Boo has a guardian angel watching him/her grow. Glad everything is going well. Anyway can't wait for an update, hope these next few weeks go by fast and hope to hear lots of good news.
* Amanda *
Where are those 18 week pics huh???
(((((((((hugs))))))))) for this week.
Harry - (Dec 05) Miller - (Feb 09)
Missed M/C (Dec 07)
Ectopic (Mar 12)
Baby #3 due Oct 1st!!
Wow, what an emotional day.
It's been a really stressful, but fabulous and busy time this last week or two.
Our house went up for sale and 5 days later we were under contract. We've pretty much spent the last few days non stop house shopping. We found OUR HOUSE and put in an offer on it yesterday and are now waiting back for a counter or acceptance. So we've been really "home" focused the last few days.
Today is 18 weeks, 6 days. The exact day that my water broke with Kylie. Do I feel like doom is going to happen today, no. Though I can't say that I feel totally at ease either. I think I would feel better if I was feeling more profound movements or more regularly throughout the day. I think the next few days will just be really emotional for me. Today the mark at which my water broke, then tomorrow being the day that we actually delivered Kylie and seeing her and holding her and looking at her face to face at her tiny fragile little state. Then 19 weeks 1 day, that marks the farthest along in pregnancy I will have been and hopefully a fresh new start.
I've been sad today, I listened to the Natalie Grant song "Held" this morning and just balled on my way to work. It brought me back to the time that I could do nothing but cry, I felt like I had no hope like there was no reason to smile or laugh, like I was hopeless and lost and was furious at the world for taking MY first baby. Listening to the words of the song brought every emotion and thought that I had back when I was hearing it back then. It was hard, I'm not going to lie but I also feel like I kind of need to step back to that time for a few days just to remember to have hope and that good things can happen. There is one particular line that I keep repeating to myself today from that song "If hope is born of suffering...this is what it means to be held" and it is. Whether its me holding my little girl or if its god holding me and giving me hope....someone who has not suffered a loss would not know the hope that the suffering can bring you.
Anyways....God knows how I miss you still Kylie. I know you are with Grandma Dori and watching over all of us. Mommy loves you.
Here are my final comparison belly shots from Kylie's pregnancy and this one. 18 weeks.
Here's a couple other from this pregnancy at 18 weeks (sorry I do know they are way late, 19 weeks pics will be coming tomorrow!)
Other pregnancy stuff thats been going on. I sneeze alot. I don't know if thats a pregnancy thing or not but I think I sneeze like 5-10 times a day, I don't think I was much of a sneezer before pregnancy. LOL
Cravings....still smoothies, I'm loving em! and I've been trying to eat alot better and snack more healthy with carrot sticks versus cheese and crackers or just having some sort of veggie with lunch and dinner to fill space.
Still feeling a ton better, with only short spurts of nausea here and there throughout the day and a little bit of food or ice cold water or gum seems to keep it at bay now! Still pretty tired each night so its definitely not this blissful 2nd trimester I've heard so much about BUT it's 150 times better than those first 12 weeks were.
My gums bleed every morning when I brush my teeth, but I am happy to report I've been able to brush at least the front part of my tongue without gagging for the last 3 days! oh and I am getting a few bloody noses here and there.
I'm getting that really tight, full, uncomfortable feeling when I eat so I'm thinking I better switch to the smaller more frequent meals now instead of 3 good sized ones to help keep me feeling good and not uncomfy.
My skin is really dry lately, mostly my legs and arms are itchy, again not sure if its prego related or just a dry time in the year here.
My inny belly button is getting easier and easier to see inside and I'm nearly positive that in the next ohhh maybe 4-6 weeks, it'll be flat if not "popped", yuck, I hate outies BUT what can you do?
Gaining a lot of weight still and feeling really self conscious about it. Too late now to go back in time and fix it though and I have full confidenc in my abilities after pregnancy to get back down to at least pre pregnancy weight if not my ultimate goal of 130 again.
Super duper excited for our gender ultraound in exactly 1 week! I seriously can not wait to just name this little one in my belly and get things started and planned out!
Like I mentioned before, I am feeling movement. I notice it now mostly at night, when I've gotten into bed to watch TV for a few hours. Dion has tried to feel it but still can't. It feels pretty strong to me from the inside but apparently not strong enough to the outside yet. I really do wish it was more consistant through the day already though. I'm sure soon enough though, baby will be doing backflips in there!
Oh to those girlies on my February 09 board....after my ultrasound I will be coming back to update you guys, I just feel strange popping on with like no news to report yet, but I do think of you guys so much.
Hi Jen. I used to post in TTCAL and PAL. You don't know me, but I was due within a few days of you, so I followed your pregnancy with Kylie from a distance and really enjoyed your descriptive writing. The way you described your symptoms were always exactly what I was feeling. I remember the day you told everyone on the Feb board that Kylie had passed away. My heart fell to the floor.
Because of two previous losses, I spent half of my successful pregnancy in fear that if I got too exited that I would jinx it. Like my body was damaged and not capable of doing it right. It took a lot to convince myself that I would really get to bring my baby home this time.
I know that nothing will ever make right what has happened with your 1st born angel, Kylie, but know that your heart will overflow with an abundance of joy and happiness that you could have never imagined possible. Rest assured that Kylie will always be by your side. Of course you are already a mother, but get ready to truly understand the magic that is motherhood. It's a beautiful thing. I wish you all the best health and happiness along your journey. I'll be watching for your update on the Feb board!
Andrea & Steve ~ Married in 2000
My Ovulation Chart
Our whole world ~ Carson born 2/8/09
3/01 & 12/07
So guess what? ...
Today I am 19 weeks, 1 day and I'm still pregnant! Thank you JESUS! This is definitely the biggest milestone for this whole pregnancy so far. I feel so blessed and thankful to be here!
Not much new to report on today but my tailbone is really hurting these last few days, when I sit for any amount of time then stand up it like aches! YIKES!
Oh and I totally am going to start reading "what to expect..." again, it was sort of a thing of mine not to pick it up until I was past my loss date, and now I am so I can start reading up on this little one!
Only 5 days till the ultrasound! OMG! I'm sooooooooooooooo excited!!
Oh and the counter offer on our new home has been ACCEPTED! We are officially under contract and MOVING!!! July 1st, we will be in our new home if all goes well from here! That give me almost 3 months to get the new house all put together for baby!!
Here are my very first ever, 19 week belly shots! WOOOOO HOOOO!
I posted over on your birth board but wanted to post here as well - Congrats on meeting this milestone. You are such an inspiration with your positive attitude throughout everything you have gone through. Definately remember to keep the ladies on Feb. 09 posted as to the gender of your little blessing.