Thread: Through darkness comes miracles....

Hi Jen. My name is Maggie and I just read through your journal. First . You're an amazing woman and you have inspired me a lot. Kylie is lucky to have a mommy like you. It makes me feel kind of guilty that you and so many other women have to go through this TTC and I conceived my DD without really trying. Just remember that God has a plan for each of us and that He never gives us anything we can't handle. He has a plan for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you get that BFP this month! Good luck and I will be checking in!

Thanks Bonita and Katie!!

Maggie Your name looks familiar, prob from the TOC boards! Thanks for looking in on me.

6 days till due date. It's a weird feeling, I'm more emotional when thinking about Kylie this week, more heartache is felt when I am around other babies or pg women. It's a weird feeling to be envious of other people because I really do usually just try to stay in my own world and deal with the things that present themselves to me and my life. With this though, it's different. It's hard. Harder than I thought it would be I think.

This wait is killing me. The days are going by so slowly. I'm really nervous right now that it still just isn't the time for me and I'll have put all of my faith and prayers into this one cycle and have it not happen. It's very possible ya know that I am not pregnant. I keep saying I will be pg this cycle, I will have an October baby, this HAS to be it but what if its not. I have decided to wrap myself into this cycle, to put all of my trust in this one....I don't think I can think about it yet, if I'm not pg. I'm not sure I want to think about how it will be if I'm not.

Well I'll be testing on Monday, I'll be 11 DPO (days past ovulation). I didn't get a + with Kylie until 12DPO and AF (aunt flow) should be here no later than Wednesday. I'm scared as always.


I got a coupon in the mail this morning "10% all items remaining on your baby registry".....stupid Babies-r-us coupon. "CONGRATULATION's on your new arrival"....I felt like it was looking at me, pointing and laughing "you have no baby to buy anything for, too bad".

I will be going to my first baby shower on March 1st. It'll be the first one, that I am not pg. I should be like 2 weeks post partum at that time and I either will be reveling in my BFP or wanting to gouge my eyes out after staring at yet another beautiful pregnant belly that I long for.

oh Jen ---where to even begin - i think that you are amazing - Kylie is so very lucky to have experienced you and Dion's love for her. God never gives us anything we can not handle - We recently have experienced infertility issues and i cry for what might be lost. I would give anything to be pregnant - i hope this month is your month and know that everyday the tears will be less, they will be replaced with smiles and laughter and the sweetness that Kylie represented. May you feel the embrace of her around your heart - and may you find peace these next few weeks that will be hard for you - you are in my prayers....

I GOT CROSSHAIRS!!! YAY! Woo hoo! I should have gotten them like 3 days ago but that low weird temp threw the chart off. Still shows I ovulated on CD 15 so that makes me 6DPO. I have 5 more days till testing. My chart looks SO crappy right now, the temps are falling after that huge spike. I'm going to try not to read anything into it though and just let what's going to happen, happen. I've already done all I could do.

So I still think I might be trying to fight off this UTI....my va-jay-jay itches and and its such a weird "peeing" feeling. Gah...I've never had one but I refuse to take any meds until I know I either AM or am NOT prego. I'm drinking lots of water though and it is feeling much less annoying.

Ohhhh and even though I have SUCKED at dieting these last 3 days, I continued working out for at least 30 minutes each day and this morning (although not an official weigh in) I am down! I hope tomorrow's weight loss is DRAMATIC and I'll be able to see some difference in my before and after pics!! Of course I'll update here!

Julie- It's sooo good to hear from you. Are you on the 0-12 boards? We should totally catch up, we haven't chatted since we were on TOC together! CRAZY! I'm so sorry to hear about your infertility issues. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, I really take those things to heart!

Crosshairs?! It's about time!!

Jen, if you suspect a UTI, there are meds that are safe during pregnancy. You don't want to put that off, hon, especially if you've got a bun baking in there. Keeping everything crossed!

*Lurker*

Jenn you are one tough woman, I don't know if I could ever go through what you've been through. I peek at your journal on a regular basis in hopes of seeing a BFP.

My fingers are crossed for you, and you are in my thoughts.