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  1. #1
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    Hello all well here I am moving over here since I don't fit the ttc category anymore as hubby and I have decided to take a break from all the madness (well, I was the one going mad with it all!)

    I am 36 almost 37 (Nov) and am married to my dh Brad who is 35. We've been married almost 4 years and live in Alberta, Canada. I was born and raised in London, Eng and met dh online Nov 2001 and I left my job, family and friends late Jan 2002 and have been living here since. We have 4 furbabies Tilly, Cora, Galley and Jade. All cats Love them and would not be without them! We were ttc since Nov 05 (although hubby says since Feb 06) I was becoming quite obsessed with the charting, temping, opks and decided not to anymore once we took a 'break' but we made the 'official break' this past cycle and have not looked back since.

    Hubby would like to adopt but first we shall see where God leads us in that area of our lives.

    I was able to visit London back in June, the first time since I left in 2002. It was great to se my niece and sil and brothers and my friends. I miss it there but know that Canada is home for me. My heart will always be there but my home is here.

    Well not sure why I titled this 'unique'. I guess it's because I believe I am unique, in that I love life, most of the time and strive to be a good person. Who doesn't? Well I know that I am one of a kind and that we are all here for a reason.

    Man, I am having some cramps and can't stand that part of my period but well, such is life!

    D, so sorry to read about your niece and her children! It's strange the same thing happened when I was in London staying with my sil. Her sister's hubby did the same thing. Froze all the bank accounts and she didn't know what to do. Before I left there, she was on her way to see him. (He was in another country where they (him and his wife) were building a house and had 'met' someone Can you imagine? The last thing he told his daughters before he left was that they'd all be living there in 3 mos) Sometimes, some men can be darn cruel to their wives!! I hope things work out for them (((hugs)))

    Hope you all have a good day and I shall be reading and cheering you all on from the sidelines here
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

  2. #2
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    Was very ill this morning with diarrhea I had to go into work as where I work, me calling 2 hours before I start would have me still having to go into work as they don't have the staff to cover me I was ill at work too and was crabby, understandbly, all day, until they let me go at 4:30 I was really thinking of walking out of there today anyways because of their stupid thing about you having to come in even when you are sick. Man! It's a daycare!! I sure as heck wouldn't want my child going somewhere if I knew this is how they treat their staff

    Anyways, cramps were bad today then again more so by my illness. Tonight I am still having cramps but they seem to be more like my menstrual ones.

    Well I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy the weather! It seems it will be quite hot here over the weekend and no doubt my Southern sistas will be sweltering too
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    The weekend was good. We went for a lovely dive on Saturday to Elkwater. So beautiful there. Who knew Alberta has trees! It reminded us of Ontario. Gorgeous. Great to see bodies of water too. That's one thing that I truly miss about the East, all the lakes!

    Today was not a good day for me, as I woke up feeling so unmotivated. I got to work and felt worse. I actually for the first time dreaded going to work. I don't know why as I love those kids In the end I had to have a talk with my boss and get some time off. I have not been feeling well mentally and maybe I should go see a doctor about all that as well as perhaps the ttc has triggered a bout of depression. My mother's anni of her death is fast approaching, so I am sure that doesn't help....Just glad I am not back at work till Friday. Need these few days to clear my head and to see that I'm not going crazy.

    Well that's me for now. I hope you all had a better day and have a bettr week!
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    Am I glad I've got these few days off! I was ill again today with diarrhea! Not nice Feel better now and look forward to going back to work on Friday. I miss the children and look forward to getting to know a few of the new ones that have joined us since today was the first day back at school

    Had a bad day yesterday but glad that a friend from my other boards called me and prayed for me as well as listen. I am thankful to call her a sister in Christ and friend

    Boo and I went for a walk this morning which was nice and refreshing. He's been off work too after having 5 teeth extracted on Monday He's feeling a bit better and will return to work tomorrow. It suits me fine as I wanted a day to myself.

    Well I finally got a doctor's appt. Well this first appt will be like a 'meet'. If the doctor 'likes' me then I will be added as a new patient. I hope she does! Then I will definitely have a pap! Yay! It's been too long since I had one last Hopefully I will be able to talk with her about other things too like ttc.

    Well that's all that's been happening here since I last logged in!

    I better get to bed!

    Goodnight!
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    Well I went back to work today after being off with some stress and mental meltdown. Those 3 days did me the world of good! It was a great day I missed those kids so much and a few of my colleagues too

    It felt good to go back and I cannot wait for what else is in store for us as I realise my life should not be wrapped around having babies. I believe I was almost 'destroying myself' by being so consumed by it all. I know the kind of personality I have, and that was certainly unhealthy for me!

    I like the title of your je D. That's how I felt this morning walking to the bus terminal. A new hope is awaiting us friend

    Happy labor Day weekend to all my fellow North Americans!!
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    Had a great weekend! Hubby and I literally vegged and watched the entire 'Invasion' series That's 22 episodes over 3 days It was great!

    Tomorrow I have a doctor's appt. I will just 'meet' with her and she will want to know my family history and all the good stuff and then decide whether she will take me on as a patient. I am truly hoping it goes well and that I will be one of hers. I really am in no mood to go 'doc shopping' After tomorrow, should I become her patient I will book an appt right away for a physical. Make sure that everything's in working order and may even talk with her about ttc. We shall see.

    Well nothing else exciting here. I just had a 3 day weekend and will have another as I am off from work Friday, as it will be my mother's 15th year anni of her death. I am amazed that the years have gone by so quick. I have some pix of the grave from London, so I know I will spend Friday celebrating her life, and remembering the good times we shared. I miss her and love her so much.

    I guess that's why I took the taking a break so hard. By the time my mother was 25 she'd already had 5 kids (3 of us surviving still) Oh well. I know I am so over all that ttc and intend to look ahead and see what God has in store for us.

    Happy humpday tomorrow girls!! Tomorrow will be my Thursday

    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    Well I nade it through the day and I was out of the apartment by 7:30 to catch buses for my doc's appt. That went well. It was nice that she remembered me and hubby from when she treated hubby fom his injury last year. I finally have a pap booked for Sept 28th and a full physical. I briefly told her about ttc and she said if needed, she could refer me to the best fertility doc in the city. That really reassured me and calmed my fears. I am really unsure about all this ttc stuff still but we shall see.

    I couldn't believe the copious amounts of cm this evening Just as well we are on a break

    Happy evening ladies!!!
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    I had a good day at work today. I shall miss the kids tomorrow as I am off to celebrate my mother's life. I cannot believe it will be 15 years since she departed. Time has flown by.

    Katy what a blessing that she kept the things from your dear Kassandra's grave!! I am sorry that family were not supportive in telling you that they arranged this. Be well, friend.

    D I'm hoping you have a great weekend, sounds like you need it

    Oh well I trust you all have a great Friday and weekend!

    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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    Well yesterday was a good day considering I woke up the same time that I woke up 15 years ago to find my mother gone
    I was able to push my own feelings aside as I spent the day with my friend and her 6 mos old son. It was a great day although she is going through some really tough stuff. Her dh's company is shutting down the oil rig for a month just when they were planning on moving and starting to ttc for #2. I felt for her but did my best to lift her up. She truly has many blessings to be grateful for, these hurdles however have all come at once.

    Today I spoke with my niece and sil. Sadly they too will remember Sept 8th for their own sad reasons. My niece's cousin was killed in a traffic accident She was only 17. There was a lot of things going on when I was over there visiting in June and apparently things got worked out but sadly this happened. I spent most of the afternoon in a fog. I didn't know her at all. My niece spoke of her as well as my sil while I was there. I am praying for them all, especially my niece's grandpa. He's taken it really badly. He loves all his grandkids dearly and would do anything for them. I hope God gives him the strength to be there for eachother at this very trying time. My sil said that when her sister and her dh had to i.d the body it was like her dd was sleeping She wanted to shake her awake. I was happy that she didn't get messed up badly in the accident. I believe family will view and once the police release her body she'll be cremated. My poor niece doesn't understand why she is being cremated. All she knows about death was after the fact, when my sil took her to visit my parents' grave last year. My sil said she would go to the grave tomorrow morning and put some flowers on for my mother and try to explain a lil bit more to my niece about the cremation and her cousin's wishes

    All I can do is cling to God and try not to ask 'Why?' I know she is with Jesus now, no longer suffering, no more tears.

    Sorry this is a downer ladies.....

    Hope you all have a restful and relaxing Sunday.
    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

  10. #10
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    Well it's been a few days since I last posted here so I better right now

    I have been having a hard time at work. It's not anyone or the children. I truly don't feel called to my job anymore. It hurts but not sure if it's all tied in with the fact that we are not trying and that there are so many (I am currently working alongside a heavily pregnant coworker) expectant colleagues This is bothering me, a lot. I hope it isn't because of this. I cannot explain it but that's the conclusion I am guessing with everything that's going on. I've been praying about it too, that God would lead me to another area. What baffles me the most is that I've always wanted to work with children and why now, all of a sudden, do I have this change in heart? I know I wasn't feeling well emotionally a couple of weeks ago and managed to get some time off but now it feels like my heart isn't in it. Am I using these pregnant coworkers as an excuse? I don't know....sigh....I know I am so blessed to be where I am and that God opened the door for me there, not even a week after we moved out West. I just want to know whether this feeling will pass, maybe it's the Winter blues already? Ok I am going around in circles with this like I did again today at work. I need to let go and let God do what He does.

    Wow! I really needed to get that off my chest

    Hope you are all having a super Thursday and looking forward to Friday and the weekend! Yay

    ~Vanessa
    NTNP since 2002

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