Tomorrow is baby Jake's 1st birthday. We have received many comments from dear friends and family letting us know that they are thinking of us during this time, and that is so helpful to know that they care, and are still remembering Jake too. We had a new floral spray made for his grave that looks really nice, and we are going to do something to honor him tomorrow...maybe we'll get a little tree and plant it in his memory. It makes me sad that he is not here with us, and that we're not celebrating his birthday with a little cake and lots of presents, but I'll bet he is blissfully happy where he is. And that makes me happy, and makes me think of him with a smile. He is our little angel. In heaven, his soul is perfect, and intact, and beautiful. That is something the disease could not touch.
I am probably going to close this journal in a few days. I might open a new one (maybe a TTC/catch-all journal). But I just don't feel comfortable posting about new events and happenings on this one. This one I feel like is devoted to Jake. I am going to attempt to make a scrapbook for him, to put his pictures and some of the little things we have in. And I will be printing out this journal and putting in there too.
I just wanted to tell you that I will be thinking about you tomorrow. I understand why you want to close this journal and start a new one, and I think that's a wonderful idea. Let this one be a tribute to Jake alone, and let the next one be a new and happy chapter in your life.
Big hugs. You will be in my thoughts.
Our thoughts are with you and baby Jake, today and always.
Happy Birthday, Jake. We love and miss you very much. ♥
Happy birthday, Jake.
Kim- I think of you often and hope you are doing well. My heart goes out to you especially today.
Last edited by twinsplusone; 01-25-2011 at 04:59 PM.
Thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers, and especially for remembering Jake on his birthday.
We got through the day okay. I really had a harder time on the days leading up to his birthday than I did the actual day. I think it was the anxiety of knowing it was coming. It seemed like those weeks dragged on and on until it was finally here, and then over.
A funny thing...the morning of Jake's birthday, I woke up suddenly and looked at the clock: 6:36 a.m. The exact minute he was born. I don't think that was a coincidence.
I wrote Jake a letter on the day of his birthday, and I have started a scrapbook for him. I just have a few more pages to make. I am certainly not scrapbook-y by any means...I've never actually done one before..but it was kind of therapeutic to sit there and do that.
I realized later that I really can't "close" this journal, heh heh. I guess I will just start a new one and ramble on that one instead of this one. Like I said, I just don't feel right posting on this one anymore, since every time I see the title, it makes me think of all those months of scariness/anxiety/pain/every other emotion we went through losing Jake. Not that I won't talk about him in my new journal as well, but you know...it's just time for a new one.
((HUGS)) It's hard to believe it's been a year already. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you, and say a prayer. You're an amazing woman.
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~
Many many hugs, mama. I don't think it was a coincidence that you woke up at the exact moment he was born either.
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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Just as reminder, you might want to archive this journal somewhere, as it could disappear when you least expect it. My journal with Joseph went away, but luckily I had already saved all the entries to my blog and a pdf. I had to do it by hand, but it was worth it to have multiple copies saved.