Kim, I just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers for you and your family. If there is any way that I can help offer you support please let me know.
I'm so sorry, Kim!
Last edited by Shadowlark; 12-21-2009 at 12:20 PM.
Kim - I'm so, so sorry for this news and this situation. I pray that you guys get a miracle and your son is born perfectly healthy. Its never too late for God to perform a miracle. I will be praying for peace and strength for you, dh and Austin during this tough time and as you tell your family and friends.
I am so, so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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My heart is with you now. There aren't enough words to express my deep sympathy. So very sorry. We will be praying for you daily.
Kim, I am so sorry to hear this. I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time.
I'm so sorry, I've been following your journal, and this is heartbreaking.
First of all, I am so appreciative of the outpouring of love and support from all of you who have posted and PM'ed me...it never ceases to amaze me the kindness that is shown during situations like this, and from people who have never met me, no less.
Our holidays were good...all of the family has come for their designated weekends and showered us (esp. Austin, lol) with gifts galore. I had a few moments of sadness...certain songs especially get to me. But overall, we are doing pretty good.
I had another appt with the peri yesterday. The ultrasounds now are pretty short and to the point. The baby's head is measuring very big (38 weeks) and his arms and legs are still extremely short at 17-18 weeks. The dr. was able to see the cloverleaf shape of the skull this time on u/s, although I still had a hard time picking it out -- the MRI had showed it very much in detail, though. The peri still agrees with the diagnosis of TD.
We mostly talked about delivery options. For several weeks now, ever since the baby was first suspected to have birth defects, the peri has recommended that I not deliver at my local hospital (which does not have a NICU) and recommended that I deliver at his hospital (an hour away from our house), which has a Level III NICU. However, at the last appt, he mentioned that if the diagnosis is fatal, I would have the option of delivering at my local hospital. Yesterday, he brought the subject up again and wanted to know what I thought. He did bring up a good point -- if I decide to deliver at the larger hospital, he said that on the remote possibility that they (the doctors) are wrong, and the baby does want to breathe on his own, that we would already have the NICU resources available immediately. I had already made my decision to deliver at the larger hospital, but my reasons were more personal. I am not sure if this sounds strange or not, but I decided that I would rather keep the bad associations and memories at the larger hospital. My older son was born at our local hospital, and I have such good memories of that, not to mention I have to drive by it every single day, and I think those emotions would be hard to deal with, if I did have this baby locally. Not that I want to shut the whole thing out or "make it disappear" by having the baby at the big hospital...I just think it might make this tragic situation a little easier.
We also talked about delivery methods...he said that if the baby is breech and the head is very large, he would recommend a c-section because the head will get stuck and cause trauma to the birth canal. I was thinking this would be the case no matter if the baby was breech or not, but oh well. I guess he thought maybe I would want to try to avoid a c-section and deliver vaginally even if the baby is breech, given the circumstances. I told him I don't care how I deliver - I am not opposed to a c-section - whatever is the safest and best is what I'll do. I guess I will talk more about that with my new OB...that's one more thing -- I'm having to switch OBs to a new one at the larger hospital...sheesh.
Anyway, a little TMI...I think I lost some of my mucus plug yesterday and today, but it seems to have stopped. The dr. did say yesterday that I am at risk of pre-term labor or my water breaking early because of the excess amniotic fluid, but he checked my cervix yesterday and it was fine. So I'm not too worried, but I can't help but think back to the fact that my water broke with DS less than a week after I lost my mucus plug...ack! I know that it regenerates, and I am sure that I didn't lose ALL of it, just some of it, but still, that thought is in the back of my mind.
Oh Kim, that is so wise, to keep the memories in another hospital. That makes perfect sense. You are so strong. I cannot imagine having your personal strength. You are an inspiration, truly.
I am glad you and Austin and your family had a nice christmas.
Kim- I am so sorry about the diagnosis and am in awe of your ability to make decisions while in such emotional turmoil. My thoughts and prayers are with you.