The way I see it....

Sooo. I decided that I need a place to ramble on about the goings on lately. I am pretty sure family and friends have had it with my babbling on.

This is my me time. Everyone is asleep and the phone doesn't ring. Ahhhhhhhh. Things have been so crazy, I am getting more and more nervous as the grand opening approaches. I am on the phone or online constantly, making sure there is no loose end untied. If I am not doing that, Len, 'lij and me are up at the store busting tail. Well, Elijah is giggling at his feet as we bust our tails. All the inventory is ordered, now it all just has to be here on time and displayed with such merchandising majic that people feel as if they MUST have it.

One minor snag, Robeez "lost" my order, and aren't shippingit till tomorrow. From Canada. I hope it gets here in time. Those shoes are featured in my ad in the paper :evil:

Russ baby will be in by next Wednesday, and then I have to get all of that display done. that's a lot of damn displaying too. I kinda lost my mind with that one. Tomorrow I will be at the store all day pricing and sanding and painting the display for the Baby Proof jeans line.

Len has been so awesome. My own personal Ty Pennington. He works all day, then comes home to my crazy sketches for more display pieces. He really does a great job, considering he never built anything before ever. He signed the loan papers and listens to my rambles about the biz and just is totally supportive.

Then there is the finishing of decorating the store. OY! Lucky for me, SIL is drooling over a few dresses, and said that she will work for cute clothes for Emma. She really has a great eye, so it will be so much help.

I wonder when the other shoe is going to drop. My dominant dreamer side says it won't , and that we are building our empire,LOL. But, there is a small nagging chicken **** voice that pops in every now and then and says this whole thing is just too insane to work.

Naw, it's kismet. My website is in progress, I actually got the domain name that I wanted- www.babysfirst.net I think that is so cool. That's the name of the brick and mortar boutique, btw.

Well golly, I feel better. I shall do this more often. Talking to yourself on the internet is therapeutic. Who new?

So today was fun... Did some displays, did a bit of painting. Played with Elijah. The coolest thing happened at the bank. I went to cash a business check, and the teller noticed the name and started asking me about it. Next thing I knew there was a group of ladies all giddy asking when we open, etc. I have a really good feeling about this. Next week I will be at the store lots doing last minute stuff, running back and forth to Micheals and hobby lobby for decor and diplay,and harrassing whoevers shipments are still pending. I can't get all the display done till I get all of my stock, so i know what I need. That's really driving me nuts right now. Elijah really likes it up there. He loves to go with momma to Walmart and see all the people and colors. I hope he stays so content in the retail environment.

I am obsessed with my fax machine. It's silly really but I love to send and receive. I never had my own, and it's fun to put my little baby's first cover letter on them. I am such a dork. I am also loving getting all my mail with my dba on it. So cute! Oh yeah, and when the caller id at home shows baby's first...it's like a dream. i can't believe we are actually doing it!

Boy am I ****ty at journal keeping.

Well, today was pretty boring. Programed my register, made up some shopping bags- I changed the logo color and ribbon color so they are way cuter. 'Lij and I just hung out. Still waiting on a bunch of products, and it's driving me crazy. I can't get **** else done till it gets here. *sigh*

Oh my permanent sign is up! So I feel all official now.

Len is sick (he has a tiny little cold) and is such a PITA when he is sick. I should send him to his mother, I just can't deal with his whiny *** right now.

Told ya I was bad at this.

Well, so much has happened. I am far to lazy for details, but it appears that we (I) am not crazy after all and the store has taken off. I am now married to that little boutique and while I am greatful and thrilled and all that, I am so damn tired. So why am I not sleeping right now? Because the menfolk are a sleeping and I will have some me time. Dammit. Even if that means a little less sleep. I worry that they (whomever they are) will find me foaming at the mouth in the corner babbling about invoices and dispursments.

Elijah continues to teethe and was especially charming today with his constant ' aaaaaaaaaaaaa' Poor baby. I wish there was more I could do. I swear I would rather all my teeth fall out and go through teething myself before enduring one more day of that ****. It's gotta hurt when you think about it. Ouch. I miss my sunshiney little dude. Maybe he will be there in the morning. At least it's not everyday. Reckon why that is?

Have I mentioned how smart he is? Seriously. He know when there is something he should not be messing with, he will turn and point his butt and crawl backward and then roll. Who needs to crawl forwards? There is more than one way to skin a cat he says. At (almost) six months, you cannot turn your back for a second. God help us. Oh and manipulative! He does this thing where he hugs my neck when I pick him up. Well, how am I supposed to resist HUGS for crying out loud!

We tried to put him in the crib again tonight. Whatever. He will be in our bed forever I suppose. I have no freaking backbone. He looks at you all loney and pathetic and I just can't bare it. I kissed him goodnight and he just stared at me. Then he followed me with his eyes out the door. 5 minutes later I scooped him up and put him in bed with Len. The kid is gonna walk all over me.

Hmmm. It's been a while.

Elijah is a genius, and I'm considering contacting Mensa. LOL. He is crawling, pulling up, says a few words, eats everything but his shoes, and has the most amazing laugh. I can't imagine life without him. I can't believe he's going to be one in just a few months! WTH happened to my tiny little newborn. I am obsessed with taping his every cute new thing, and take an insane amount of pics. I just don't want to miss anything. He is growing up too fast.

The bathroom is almost done, in spite of minor setback ( like indoor rain) due to shoddy plumbing from hell. Things have been smoothed and promisses made. The inspector is going to check it out tomorrow and my shower will be hooked up. YAY! I am so tired of fricken baths. I just want to jump in the shower for a change.. For some reason, I don't feel all the way clean in the bathtub. Of yeah, there will be a working sink tommorow and 'lectricity, so like no more brushing of teeth in the kitchen and blowdrying my hair in the hallway . Woot! All that's left is crown moulding and baseboards in, and ceiling tiles up.

Business is good, the website is still under construction. I am going to look into getting someone else to maintain it. I sensed mega snarkiness today when talking to her. **** WARNING* Long rant of pent up rage to follow*** She has rescued my mom, and God knows what version of Del's life she has gotten and so apparently, I am the ungrateful little ***** daughter. It's really fricken unbelievable how many people have come to her rescue. LMAO. I kinda pity this friend of hers.. she has no idea what she's in for. And, little does she know, the minute she ceases to be of good use, Del will go bye-bye. Status fricken quo.

WTF ever.. If she only knew the whole story. Ah well. Best to let them kick thier own *** sometimes....

Why am I even letting her get to me? I like vowed forever ago to stop that. This is exactly why I did not want to attempt reconciliation with her when I was preggo. I knew this was bound to happen. How could it not? The world would have to like move off it's axis for her to change. What a dumbass I can be.

And how dare she guilt me?? Hello!!! How many times when I was a kid did I hear " We found your Mom, but she has moved again. Time after time she walked away from us. Not giving one **** who was taking care of us, because she like, had other plans. Now, I can't rescues her, not at 12, 14, 16 years old like I was, but at 50 damn years old and I am the bad guy? I chose not to subject my son to her chronic instability and she feels that she can judge me? Of course I chose my son and husband. How many random assholes has she chosen over her own children? FOUR, that I can recall at least. Mighty damn nervy there mom.


Oh it just pisses me of. There aren't enough words to describe it. So, I guess I'll quit for now. Maybe I can sleep now