I DON'T KNOW IF i AM IN THE RIGHT PLACE ... But here it goes yesterday was very sad for me . It was the 4 th year of my loss. MY BABY BOY .. I miss him so much .. Will the hurt ever end or will it be there like a stabbing pain in the heart for ever .
I was so happy excited and just jumping of joy when in March 5 , 2002 .I found ourt I was pregnant after 8 years of ttc .. well I have two girls after my young daughter was in kindergarten I decide THAT i wanted to have a baby and I couldn't get pg did many test AND THE DOCTOR'S said i was fine .. bu t no baby for so long ... until that surprise!..THINGSgoing normal until on May 20, 2002 I got up early morning to go work and I felt some water pop and i t was all over and I THOUGHT I PEEDON MY SELF. I KEPT CRAMPING all day until I started bleeding..I went to the doctors office he checked and said my cervix was closed the found the heartbeat thing 's looked good Until the sono it seems that my waterbroke and there was no fluid to help the baby develop.. M y world just crumbled I was devasted my baby had a heart baby but no sack to develop I need to deliver the baby cause I could develop A infection but what I could I do the baby had a heart beat.. I just wanted my baby to be fine .. HE ENDED .. DYING on may 22,2002
I had my prescious baby ... with out A HEART BEAT... AND IT WAS A BOY! M e and dh named him Emannuel wish means GOD WITH US... OUR CHILD IS ALWAYS IN MY HEART IN MY MIND AND IS DEEPLY LOVED THERE'S NOT DAYONT'T THINK ABOUT THE IF'S AND HOW WILL THE BABY BE NOW IF WITH ME . I needed to have day of sadness and yesterday was really hard ... thanks for reading if you stuck here for so long.
In loving memory to my child , angel and love Emannuel mommy loves you dearly looking foward to see you someday ... your daddy and sister' love you , VERY MUCH.
MAY 22, 2002