Potty Training Woes

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tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743
Potty Training Woes

Ugg, will this ever end? So as you guys probably know, it's been really tough training Micaiah. He will go a few days with no accidents and then all of a sudden have accidents ALL the time. Here lately he has been having several accidents a day and going through 2-3 pairs of pants. I'm not sure what to do to help that. I guess I can go back to telling him to go at certain times, but otherwise I'm not sure. I have been doing rewards if he tells us he has to go - 1 M&M for pee and 2 M&Ms or a bigger piece of candy for poop. But he will still just get distracted and pee in his pants - usually b/c he is busy playing or something. He will also noticeably have to go and we ask him if he needs to and he still says no. (We make him go anyway.) I mean, it's been four months since we started! I started taking him out in underwear a couple months ago and sometimes he still has accidents while we're out even if he goes right before we leave.
Anyway, anyone have any tips/experience/hope for me? Should I give it a couple more months before I start worrying? Any way for me to encourage him more? Should I step up the rewards again? He doesn't seem to care if he is wet, sometimes I will notice his pants are wet and he hasn't even mentioned it.

Anyway, thanks for reading all of this!

kat83's picture
Joined: 04/27/07
Posts: 631

I dont know what to say-We're kinda in the same boat, he picked up the PT process pretty easily and was doing great and pretty much does great at school but when he comes home, I have to always physically take him to the potty and this week its been very hectic and I havent had time to sit and breathe let alone try to remind myself to remind him...so yesterday I picked him up from DC and he had ran thru all his extra clothes-which he never does and peed right as I was picking him up outside...and then proceeded to do the same for DH while I was gone afterwards...the day before I yelled at him for just standing in the kitchen and peeing instead of going to the pot like he should and knows how to...told him I was gonna put him in diapers again and he said no and that hes a big boy and he is potty trained and so he had a meltdown and so did i...Its hard but seriously-we've been at it for a good 5 mos now you'd think he would know when he has to go and tell me...I know part of it is they do need reminding but I have to remind myself to remind him or take him and thats a lot of work when you are crazy busy....guess Ill just have to do better at that as well and keep an eye on the time...I need to but one of those potty reminding watches but will never get around to it...man...

I feel you vicki....i just dont know how to resolve it...i thgt after the meltdown and threatning diapers he wouldnt do it but the next day was worse...my friend babysits and the kid is older, 5 and she still has to remind him to go to the bathroom so maybe we just have to keep reminding them to go and take them every so many minutes...(why cant they just get it?!)

Alex was doing awesome at telling me when he had to go but now he doesnt even do that-except when we are out sometimes

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Yeah, well just a few minutes ago, he pooped in his underwear, took them off and left them in the bathroom w/ the poop still in them and got some new underwear. I was sewing and I saw him and Noel come over to me. Then I saw a huge piece of poop on the floor. Noel had picked up his underwear and it had fallen out on the floor. M hadn't even told him he pooped - he just came in with a dirty butt holding his new underwear in his hand. Ugg!
I do know that you're *supposed* to keep positive and I try not to let it get to me, but it seems like since I don't care, he doesn't either. :shrug:

kat83's picture
Joined: 04/27/07
Posts: 631

yeah the whole pooping thing is still a huge issue here-hes actually has been trying to go on the potty for that now but still goes in the corner and lies down and poops in his underwear-which hes always been a constipated kid to the pt where sometimes miralax comes into play so I dont really blame him there, but its the pee that makes me mad...the whole keep positive thing-I tried that for the longest time, up until just recently ive never been scolding or anything and hes all..i had a accident, change me..im sorry babe but no you didnt you know better! obviously. sigh...really...glad N didnt touch the poo yuck!

'ren's picture
Joined: 04/15/05
Posts: 239

Rhys was the same, he just didn't care about being wet or dirty and if you asked if he'd pooped he'd say no and run in the opposite direction. Eventually it just clicked and he hasn't had wet pants in months (including overnight) so there is hope! he still has a poo accident every now and again but only ever at preschool and everytime we talk about him being a big boy now and too big to do that etc. so frustrating! but it's happening less and less so I think he's pretty much done, the last accident was about 3 weeks ago.

I know how you feel, he'll get it eventually but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to stay positive when you wanna rub their noses in it like a puppy lol (of course that wouldn't help them anymore than it would a puppy) we've been giving Rhys an easter egg (since we have bazillions lol) for every day he has at preschool with no accidents and it seems to be helping. Maybe you could try a sticker chart or a small treat for sections of the day, we did that with Maddi. If she had no accidents all morning she got a sticker, then between the morning section and her afternoon nap (we were trying to get her trained before Rhys arrived so she was not quite 2) and then between nap and bedtime, it broke the day up into managable chunks and it meant that even if she had an accident in the morning she had a fresh start around 11am and another chance for a sticker.

butterflykissesx6's picture
Joined: 06/28/07
Posts: 509

Poop training is definately the hardest part of potty training. Miranda did great with the peeing and took probably 4 or so months to get the pooping down. Stickers worked for us.....also, she is starting preschool in the fall and I made it really clear that she couldnt' go to school if she still pooped/peed in her pants! Potty training is definately a rough road. Just try not to push it too hard....he'll get it when he's good and ready.

LizzyLaw06's picture
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497

sorry you are having problems. i will say that when j went for her 3yr check up and the doc asked about potty training and we said we were done he was surprised. he further went into explaining that he looks for at 3.5 for only 50%to have STARTED potty training. i know it may not ease the problem, but hopefully it assures you a bit that he is still going at in very normally.

as for J we started training her last June(were going vaca in july so thought it would be nice to have her trained). we did cold turkey right to undies. started on friday so we had the weekend to hit it hard. let her walk around the house bare bottom when we could with the potty seat in the LR. otherwise every 30mins we'd get her on the potty. she picked up pee in about 1maybe 2 weeks. poop took probably another month or so to master. she would poop in her panties, but she would tell us. typically, she'd go hide so when we saw her go to hide we would take her to the potty and eventually it kept. we found she was most comfy on her potty seat with her head b/w her knees bent down like that allthe way for poop. granted she is still wearing pullups overnight, but just recently (like 2 weeks running..knock on wood) she has been waking up with her pullup dry, i'm just not ready to let her go w/o it yet and clean up the mess, which i know i have to do at some point.

the important thing is to make sure that daycare is following your potty training method. if they are doing something different than what you are doing then you're going to get nowhere. my Babysitter was fine with me sending lots of panties and cleaning up any floor messes there were. and i've never had any part in training boys, but i hear they are often harder than training girls.

good luck. hope any of that helped

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I think we may try the chart and breaking up the day. The rewards right now aren't working and I'd rather not have to give him more candy.
I'm glad we don't have to worry about daycare/preschool. My friend's preschool requires them be in pull ups until they've gone a week without accidents. Pull ups at this stage would definitely hinder our pting process!

Lori, we did the same thing - went straight to undies. I would put him in Pull Ups when we went out and then I stopped doing that because he would stay dry. I'd say we've regressed and I don't know why.

'ren's picture
Joined: 04/15/05
Posts: 239

If there is tension in the house that's most likely why. He's picking up on it and his own toileting is something he can control, . He'll get there.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

You know Lauren, that's true; stress may be why he's having accidents so much. Actually he did much better today, and it's been a lot better around the house too.

'ren's picture
Joined: 04/15/05
Posts: 239

good news on both counts there, I hope things continue to improve.

Joined: 06/27/11
Posts: 14

The thing that worked for Lily was putting a pair of panties on UNDER her pull-up. That way, no mess on the floor and she could still feel the wetness next to her skin.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

This is our second week w/ a sticker chart, and he's been doing great! Still doesn't really tell us when he needs to go but I just make sure and tell him all the time. I guess it will just take awhile before I can stop asking him to go all of the time.
I think it was partly the stress in the house. Hoping no more stress comes along to set him back again!

LizzyLaw06's picture
Joined: 05/20/07
Posts: 497

good to hear he's doing good