Hitting

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Joined: 03/08/06
Posts: 183
Hitting

Anyone else have a hitter, Jack hits when he's mad, but also at other times, playing, just because, I am really at my wits end, we have done time outs, bedroom time, holding his hands down, talking to him, telling him he's hurting mommy, daddy, the dog etc., I have spanked a few times, but I HATE to hit because he's hitting. Sometimes he has "that look in his eye" and I know it's coming. Just not sure where to go from here. He's been super testy lately, doing the opposite of everything I ask. I try to engage him in activities, we paint, play, go outside almost every day, he cuts paper, plays in beans and rice, playdough, I work with children with autism and have been trying to implement everything with precise consistency as I would encourage my parents to do, but nothing's working and it is seriously making me crazy, my DH has him while I'm at work and he listens a little better to him, but he's getting hit too. His language is great, lots of words, 5 to 6 word sentences. So I don't think it's language frustrations. He really has a hard time when I tell him no. Maybe it's just him being almost 3. But doing what I do, I know how important early intervention is and am wondering if there is something underlying. My ped brushed it off as him being 2 and told me to be consistent (I am), I guess I'm wondering if I should have him evaluated, or if I am just over reacting. Maybe I'll try a reward chart but don't know if he's too young?

Thanks for any and all advice
Sarah

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

So there is a certain way you can hold a child where they can't swing and can't kick and it's a pretty painless way to disable them.

Let's see if I can describe it. Okay. Start by wrapping your arms around his up by the shoulders (with him facing away from you). Go from above and grab your wrists behind his back. With you both sitting on your bottoms on the floor, wrap your legs around his and separate them (again, from above so your legs are on top of his). If he struggles your goal is to keep him from being able to move. It's pretty hard for him to injure hinself when in this position. He will stop resisting before that happens. Keep him in that position and explain calmly that when he hits you will hold him like that until he calms down and stops hitting. Every time.

He won't like being held this way and it doesn't take a whole lot of strength to keep him like that (once you get him there). My mom used to hold my sister this way a lot. I've been on the receiving end as well. I had to use it once or twice on my older son (40lbs and half my height at the time).

Be more stubborn than him and verbally remind him that you are stronger than him (good reassurance for you, too).

If that's not a good description, let me know and I will have my DH take pics of DS#1 being held in the position for you.

Roobear's picture
Joined: 03/26/08
Posts: 343

I am glad to hear I am not the only struggling with the almost-three's. Hailey doesn't hit us, but she will throw things or hit the table or couch when she is mad. She also bites things (but not people) out of anger. Same as Jack, you can see it coming. I don't have a lot of advice, I was about to post about my own frustrations! Does Jack yell at you as well? Thats our main problem right now, she has started yelling at us. And we're not yellers. I'm sure she's learning it from her BFF who is an overindulged little brat.

Yesterday she had two epic meltdowns. Both of them ended up with her closed in her room to calm down and me walking away. But we're talking shrieking and screaming and throwing herself against the door. Freaked the dog out. Lasted maybe 5 minutes, and when she had calmed down enough that she was just crying, but not screaming or beating the door we went back in. We make her say sorry for whatever the transgression was, and give her a hug, and then life went on as if nothing happened. But it is so frustrating!!

This is why they are not born at this age. They're nice and cute and totally dependent on us as infants so that we get attached and don't chuck them out the window as toddlers!

les27's picture
Joined: 05/21/08
Posts: 840

"Roobear" wrote:

This is why they are not born at this age. They're nice and cute and totally dependent on us as infants so that we get attached and don't chuck them out the window as toddlers!

ha ha ha ha I love this Smile

dd also has quite a temper, but she does really well with timeouts for now......

Joined: 03/08/06
Posts: 183

Meghan - he is yelling, raspberrying (is that even a word), biting, just being downright disrespectful. His tantrums last about 30 minutes before I even see a shred of the little boy I know.

Janelle, I will try it.

Thanks.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Sounds very similar to Daniel's meltdowns. Yet again something that seems to have gone away with the dairy avoidance. Smile

:goodluck:

fittoac's picture
Joined: 05/05/08
Posts: 383

Oh my gosh-- no hitting here, but our sweet Piper has turned into the most DEFIANT child on the face of the planet. I am at my absolute whit's end with her. My husband even said the other day that, with the way Piper's been acting the last few weeks, he wants to stop at 2 kids!! He's like, "Forget this... I don't want to have to go through this again." Eek! He's half-kidding, but still.... it's been BAD. Every single day I go to bed feeling like I spent 75% of the day feeling frustrated and at the end of my rope due to dealing with her behavior. The term "willful disobedience" comes to mind. It's just a battle of wills between us all. day. long. I have no advice. I just keep trying to remind myself that this is just a phase and she won't be like this forever. Right? Right???