Please tell me I'm not the only one with...

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Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455
Please tell me I'm not the only one with...

Please tell me I'm not the only one whose child still has no bladder control??!!

I tried naked bottom with Daniel again today (5th time since he turned 2--I think) and he still is only peeing in small amounts and seems to have no knowledge when he pees on the floor. He did it right in front of me and there was no change in facial expression or anything and when i pointed out that he peed on my floor, he was shocked. It's not like he was doing anything super interesting or distracting when it happened, either. :confused:

I had even offered him fruit snacks as a reward (they aren't allowed them normally) for peeing in the potty chair and he didn't (or couldn't) do it.

HELP!!!

Joined: 02/08/08
Posts: 35

He may to be ready yet. Throw out the so called norms. My kids aren't completely trained yet. Still working on it!! When I tried 6 months ago, it was a nightmare.

Joined: 05/15/08
Posts: 413

It takes consistent practice. The first few times Ezra was allowed to be naked, he ignored it too. It takes time. Make a point of giving him "naked time" everyday for a week. Try to keep him off of carpeting and upholstered furniture if possible. While it's a mess for you, he'll probably start understanding what's going on.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Thanks guys.

I asked his ECI leison about it (early childhood intervention) hoping it might be related to his developmental delays. But she said that she's never heard of a child with his types of delays to have delayed muscle control in that area. She told me to ask his pediatrician, cause there might be something else going on. While she didn't say he should be potty trained yet, in fact, because of his delays in communication, she'd expect him to not be "ready" yet. But at the same time, she did seem concerned at his response to peeing on the floor (or lack thereof). That being said.. I may be the first parent to bring it up, too. *sigh*

I figured I'd check here before asking the doc. I'll give him a few more shots, before I call them. I really wish we had better peds in this town, and I want to be certain there is an issue before dragging him in there.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

I just googled Autism and Bladder Control and, as it turns out, it's not unheard of for people with Autism to have the lack of sensation in the bladder and urethra areas to be able to properly control when they go to the bathroom. For most it is they don't feel or notice when their bladder is full and they have to set alarms to remind them to void... but some it's the opposite.

Intriguing, since he possibly has Asperger's (they weren't willing to say so yet).

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

Griffin is still not potty trained either but I know for him it is about not wanting to do it, not that he can't. If he has no bottoms on at all, he will almost always go to the potty and if he has an accident, he comes and tells me and usually says something like "uh oh...I peed." If he has bottoms on, no matter what kind (diaper, pull-ups, underwear) he pees in them. But he knows he pees in them, and even if he has a diaper on, he will tell me if he pees in it. I know he's ready, he's just being a bit stubborn about it. I'm hoping we can get him there this summer with lots of naked time.
I don't think it is a concern that Daniel isn't potty trained, but the fact that he seems unaware of peeing seems unusual for a 3 year old and maybe worth looking into. If it were me, I'd probably ask the dr. about that aspect of it.

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

Have you tried cloth diapers/trainers or something where he can feel wet without making a mess to see if you can build association of feelings that way yet? I wouldnt be TOO worried, like DD's dr freaked out when she wasnt walking at 18 months old, 2 months later she was doing it rather well, so sometimes kids just don't operate in the expected ranges. I also work at a daycare where there are several 3 yr olds who are not trained, and at least one 4 yr old........ no freaking out needed. if he's 12, i'd be worried.

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

"gypsy86" wrote:

Have you tried cloth diapers/trainers or something where he can feel wet without making a mess to see if you can build association of feelings that way yet?

He feels when he's wet in a diaper, but from stubbornness will deny it. It's the lack of noticing he's peed while naked (motion or sensation) and the only peeing little bits every 20-30 minutes (like he doesn't or can't hold it) that bothers me.

But then today he didn't pee (if he did I haven't found the piddle puddles yet) for a few hours, then a BIG wet spot on his bed while he was sitting on it playing. I was sad that he didn't even tell me about that when it happened, but that was most likely cause he was having too much fun playing. I did tell him I was sad he didn't use the potty chair and he acted sad, too.

So I guess we are making progress.

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

progress is good! it sounds like he IS starting to learn to associate the feeling with the result, so those messes are probably going to pay off in a while!

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

More progress!!

Today I made him a potty chart with three squares for pee and one square for poop. And then I put pictures on it of his reward for crossing off all three pees or the one poop square. I told him that he got candy for each box, but that if the crossed off all of the pees or the one poop that we'd go to the bouncy houses.

He mostly sat on the potty chair (glued to the tv watching Barney or playing video games) and we caught 3 pees. So here we are using the wi-fi at the bouncy houses place! Yahoo

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Day two of potty chart. Yesterday totally didn't work out because of a family situation that came up. I didn't even try.

He cried when I took the diaper away.. just like on Tuesday. But he pretty much sat on the potty chair like he was glued to it. I don't know if he's afraid of being naked or what. I took his diaper away about 7:45. By 8:30.. he'd peed AND POOPED! So we get to go to the bouncy houses.. but they don't open until 1pm. He's totally not seeming to care that he's doing it and I don't even know that he's realizing still that he's peeing or even pooping. He didn't even tell me he did either. I started smelling it about 8:20 and asked him if he pooped and he said no, and I didn't make him get up so I could look (perhaps I should have). He got off the chair for a bit and I saw it and pointed it out and he was totally like "who cares". *sigh*

I told him that that means we get to go to the bouncy houses again (expecting him to be upset that we aren't going RIGHT THIS MINUTE), but he got excited for a little bit and went back to his game. :dontknow:

At least we are saving money on diapers. Lol

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I wish Eli would at least sit on the potty! He flat out refuses.
I can't wait til we move to our new place - no carpet at all. That kid is going to be potty trained by the fall if it kills me!

Nell4Him's picture
Joined: 10/25/06
Posts: 2455

Potty training with an infant in the house is a lot harder that I expected. I was REALLY hoping he would have been ready this time last year so we'd have it done and over with before Evie came, but you can't rush them. Sad

Was Ella potty trained with Eli came?

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

I was really hoping G would be trained before DS2 arrives, but doesn't look promising. We talked about it today, and he said "no, I don't want to use the potty. I want to keep my diapers." Sigh. Even bribes don't work anymore. I hope he changes his mind soon because I really want him to be trained before he starts "real" preschool in the fall. If he isn't though, I hope the peer pressure will be what finally makes it click. Right now, in daycare twice a week, he is surrounded by littler kids in diapers and older kids using the potty. Hopefully if EVERYONE but him is potty trained, he will succumb Wink I'm not sure what else to do besides just wait for him to initiate it.

Muddee's picture
Joined: 03/13/08
Posts: 2119

One lady I know on a different part of the forums made a game of using the washroom for her boy, she would get a hole punch and some coloured paper, she would then make dots and put them in the toilet for him to try and pee on, he loved it and would go to the washroom just to pee on the dots. Might be worth a try.

When Natalie was training she liked peeing like all the big people so we set up a potty seat on the toilet, she used a stool to get up.

Natalie is both day and night trained and has been for a while she was just interested pretty young and I took advantage of it.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

Ella was not trained when Eli was born - she was just 18 months old, and not anywhere near ready. We didn't actively start training her until she was a few months shy of 3. Now that Eli is a few months past 3, I'm itching to get it done!