Stubborn Preschooler

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Muddee's picture
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Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago
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Stubborn Preschooler

I am curious does anyone have a particularly stubborn preschooler? Natalie has gotten to a phase where she's wants to do her own thing most of the time.

I will tell her to get dressed, which she can do, then she will ignore me and do her own thing, half the time I have to threaten her like "I am going to take your toys away, if you keep playing with them and not get dressed" to motivate her.

Other times she'll ask for something and I'll give a no and she'll respond with a "you never let me..." then she'll sneak off and get what she wants on her own or try to convince others to let her do what she's not allowed.

I hate that I've had to resort to negative reinforcement but nothing else seems to work, anyone have any suggestions?

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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
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oh that makes me giggle! getting dressed usuallly isnt a battle- Ellie can't go outside to play, or go to playgroup, or go to the park or anything until she is dressed, therefore she is usually quite willing. but she has to pick out her own clothes. and that drives me crazy sometimes. and if i ever heard "you never let me..." out of ellie's mouth i'd probably die laughing. she isnt that advanced in language yet LOL. since i'm the only one she's with when she gets up (daddy is going to bed, he works midnights) she can't try to get around me, but she can try to con me into taking her somewhere more fun ("no, other park" "ride mama bike?") instead of the choices i give her.

i have no idea why we are always matched up with kids who's personalities have at least one spot that just does NOT click and we can't figure out what to do about it!

what do you guys do in the mornings that requires her to get dressed? do you work and she goes to daycare? i work afternoons, so mornings is my real time with the kids (naps afternoon, then i leave for work) so i make sure i do something fun with her and get her outside- which is her bribery- so that she's not too wound up for daddy all day while i work.

Nell4Him's picture
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Last seen: 1 year 5 months ago
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We are behind in most areas of development here, so I'm not in the same boat at all. DS#1 wasn't even given the option to dress without supervision til he was closer to 5, and that was out of necessity (baby brother appeared and mommy was tired). To this day, my kids stay in pj's (and sometimes sleep in day clothes) until it's required that they change. I pick my battles, and sometimes it's better to go to the store with my 8 year old still in his pj's than to start an errand that he hates by forcing him to get dressed when I have to get two other kids dressed who can't dress themselves.

I think it's normal development for them to get distracted at this age, but I understand there is a visible difference between choosing to play with toys instead of getting dressed and simply getting distracted.

Lately, I have been struggling with Daniel to assist in diaper changes. He has been getting his own diapers out of the room when I tell him to, but lately.. he's refusing. So for now, it just takes extra parental involvement. I was asking big brother (DS#1) to get them when Daniel refused and that sparked the angry "I'm gonna get it!!" from Daniel, but then DS#1 started using it to antagonize Daniel, so I had to stop doing it. *sigh*

Parenting is about bending. You have to constantly adjust to various developmental stages. Just like counting to 3 before taking disciplinary actions, they'll get used to it and start doing what you ask quickly.. but it will only last a while before you have to prove that you still will act on 3 and follow through. They test you. It's what they are meant to do. I'm having to remind myself of this lately as I have been getting pretty angry with things that they are supposed to be doing for their ages. I speak of my 8 year old mostly on that. Lol

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Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
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I'm only just starting to teach ds1 how to dress himself--partially because all his shirts have itty-bitty buttons.

Ds1 is VERY stubborn. He has total control over his bodily functions, for example, but often refuses to tell me when he needs to use the toilet (we're transitioning from potty chair to toilet). He also refuses to go to the bathroom when we are out.

Our other big sticking point is that he can't get food out for himself--no pantry, no fridge. Been working on that for over a year now. And fridge locks won't work, because he can undo them.

For me, the main thing that works (when I am disciplined enough to do it) is to keep him occupied. He only gets into trouble when his time is self-directed. Like the saying goes "Idle hands are the devil's plaything." I might not adhere to that particular belief system, but the point is certainly true.

Muddee's picture
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Last seen: 1 year 9 months ago
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I go and write this all out seeking advice and then the following week she behaves quite well, gotta love this age.

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Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
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Ellie doesnt really get dressed without supervision.... she just runs into her closet and grabs a shirt that i have not offered as a choice instead of the ones i show her.

i'm getting annoyed with potty regression lately though. she potty trained about 5 months ago. went from "sometimes i can get her to go in the potty" to goes all the time at home, and at the store, and i trust her to be in her carseat for trips without a diaper. she's been dry for naps for 2 yrs, so that was never an issue. a month ago i forgot to put a nighttime pullup on her and she's been sleeping most nights dry without a diaper since... until this week. we have an occasional accident, but this week she's peed in my bed twice and went through 3 sets of PJ's last night just peeing in all of them... and has had several other accidents too. rrrggghhhh, and no signs of a UTI or anything that would really cause it, just a pain in the but kid.