terrible 2's

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Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870
terrible 2's

Ever since i worked all week last week... after spending 6 weeks at home... after a month of only working 2 days a week..... Ellie has been having some terrible twos moments. like spends half the day either throwing a fit or sitting in time-out. She won't eat foods that i know she likes, refuses to wait even 2 seconds for something... like she throws a fit by the time i stand up to get what she asked for... and has been testing her limits more than ever before.

its probably just a phase where she's learning what she can do and what we will do to respond, combined with occasional missed naps and schedule changes.

She's been really good for all her sitters though, like, lays herself down for naps when she WILL NOT do that for me.

i am having moments where i wonder if i've been spoiling her too much, or been inconsistant with my responses, wonder if having less of a routine or a routine that it not typical for kids her age is making her misbehave, but i'm pretty sure thats not the root problem, at the same time,i HATE explaining her misbehavior with the phrase "she's 2" but thats kind of what it is. she's learning her limits and consequences. and its driving me batty.

SO... to keep myself sane... anyone have any ideas? i wish i could look forward to certain times to wind down and not have to deal with her, i'd love to go to a fitness class or something, but i feel guilty enough leaving her while i work (which is a pretty inconsistant schedule) and having to take care of Bubba instead of giving her attention, so i dont want to spend more time away from her, but if i need it to keep from losing my temper several times a day, then its being thoughtful instead of selfish... right? The other thing is that DH has enough trouble when i take a shower and he has to take care of the kids, much less when i work for a few hrs when he's off work, so i don't want to dump them on him a run off, but he's a parent too... and he has firefighter classes several nights a week on top of work, so thats fair... right? Mentally i know its a good choice for me to get out of the house without the kids, but the actual logistics of leaving them with DH gets tough (insert whining and getting house dirty then leaving it for me to clean up) because by the time i go through that, it seems like less stress just to stay home instead of go unwind.

mwilliamson006's picture
Joined: 09/10/08
Posts: 928

I've been going through this too. You have to be consistent. I've also made a point to ignore the fits. I would suggest that if she has a tantrum like that, that you ignore it and walk away. When she figures out you aren't paying attention and do not care she will get over it. My DD started her tantrums in the Pediatrician's office and that was their advice. It has worked for me. As for not eating. Keep giving her the same foods you are. When she gets hungry she will eat it. Good Luck!

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

I've been ignoring her tantrums- sometimes it works really well and she gets bored and gives up, but sometimes she just keeps going. its hard to ignore a fit when she's ON MY LAP doing it, so i usually set her on the floor and walk away.

But i think i figured a little bit of it out, she's either teething, growing, or has a bug of some sort that doesnt show many symptoms... this morning she didnt want breakfast, only wanted to nurse, and has taken 2 naps already... not typical at all. i can't feel any teeth coming in, but that seems the most likely. hopefully we'll have a better day today.

and maybe DH will stop being such a big lazy jackwagon.

b525's picture
Joined: 06/06/07
Posts: 298

I know you don't know me well, but I lurk and post every once in a great while.

With my boys, when they are bellowing, I send them to their room. I don't make it like a punishment, really, just a place for them to simmer down. I tell them that I can't stand the noise and that, if they want to have a fit, they'll have to do it away from the rest of us. I tell them they can come out when they're done.

My two-year-old bellows for a while and then chirps, "I done!" and comes running out with a smile on his face, most of the time. Other times, he decides to play in there, which is fine with me since it's not a punishment. Sometimes he needs a little extra help to settle. I let him shout for a while, then go in and ask if he needs help to calm down. If he says no, I just say okay and leave the room again. Sometimes he just needs a snuggle and that's when I assume there's a little more to the story than just terrible-two-ness. It works pretty well with my four-year-old, too.

Our bedrooms are on the same floor as our main living area, so it works very easily to send them to their rooms because they're mere steps away. If bedrooms are on another level, maybe there is another room or another area they could go to in order to settle down.

Good luck!

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

i already do that too... i tell her she needs her own time-out and she can throw her fit in her room, and she usually comes out wiping her eyes and nodding her head "done!" and wants a hug.

but that could happen every 4 minutes for FOUR HOURS and it kinda wears on me... i dont want to be nice about it anymore...

but i think i did figure it out, DD has had a runny nose but i thought it was mostly weather or allergies, but last night i woke up stuffy and runny like she's been and i felt totally wretched! so i felt rather sorry for her and her tantrum throwing self, and i was very glad that when she asked to nurse yesterday i could say yes and she seems to be feeling much better today.

not that all tantrums have stopped, just that i understand why we had extra ones lately!

and i think giving myself some adult time (i blowdried my hair) realy made me feel better yesterday, i've been full of energy since then too, and way more patient with her.

darkshadows91's picture
Joined: 07/12/08
Posts: 19

isabella is driving me insane. the last month or so the attitude has really ramped up a bit. everything is no or a fit. she doesnt want to eat anything i make for her but its always im hungry. shes getting too big for the high chairs when we go out. getting her to sit still is a nightmare. she painted my new car in desitin, busted my friend right in the mouth, kicked another friends boy in the face, almost put a drumstick through a tv. shes so clingy and its non stop chatter i want this, i want this. potty...forget it. i thought the elmo potty chart and stickers would get her attention and ive stuck to no stickers but i show them to her everytime we are in there. shes in time out more than shes out it seems. she has turned into a spastic little monkey!!!!

Muddee's picture
Joined: 03/13/08
Posts: 2119

The behaviour is just an age thing, Natalie can be quiet the brat some days it's like one meltdown after another from her. Keeping your toddler entertained is the best way to prevent them from acting out, so try to find things you both can enjoy together, if you can include the tiny one even better. As for personal time, I know every mother struggles with that debate, maybe let DH know that you want 1 day every couple weeks (or if that's too much every month) for a girls night out, go out with a friend to dinner and a movie (my BFF and I like to do dinner and glow in the dark mini-golf), possibly even go to their house for a cheaper night in.