Sorry, but this post is a bit of a downer. I just need to put this out there and see if this fits anyone else. I've had two early m/c's. This period for me is absolutely excruciating. I can't let myself get too excited about what is going on. Every time I talk about my pregnancy it's prefaced with "if this one wants to stick around". I want to jump up and down and start making plans but all I can think about is the pain of letting everyone know that we lost our previous pregnancies. It's much easier having a beautiful little boy but we really want one more. I know in my heart that if this doesn't work out that I am out of the game. I can't emotionally handle this again.
Unfortunately, DH isn't much help. He's been through this too. He shuts himself off emotionally until he can count on it happening. Right now I feel like he is just humouring me that this is going to happen. He doesn't want to get attached and he hates seeing me hurt. So here I am relying on the grace of strangers
I feel good-queasy, exhausted, hungry, totally irritable. Um, well I mean bad-good. I am trying to remain positive. Just wanted to know if I am alone.