Hi Everyone

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Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 10/20/06
Posts: 3
Hi Everyone

Hi Everyone,
I just found out I am pregnant with number three. My husband is less than happy. I am so upset by his behavior, I don't know what to do. He has asked me to have an abortion. It is not something I can do or even consider. He says he can't not go through having another child. What it comes down to..is I am going to have to leave him and raise all the children on my own. Anyone else going through anything like this? Can anyone offer some advice?


Mommyin0406080912's picture
Last seen: 4 years 4 months ago
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

Congrats!!HH9M!!! I am so sorry your husband is being like that, That is not right to ask you that. Maybe he just needs some time. I hope it all works out for you and him. Sending huge hugs!

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

I think your husband needs some time to sit and think about things. Maybe in a few days you can discuss why he doesn't want three and see if they are valid reasons. Congratulations and hopefully DH will come around :bigarmhug:

yellow.rose.of.canada's picture
Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 01/13/10
Posts: 1174

I have no real advice, I just want to say sorry that you have to deal with this. Hopefully he just needs some time to process the information and will change his mind. :bighug:

AmberBella's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 02/15/07
Posts: 1831

I'm so sorry that this can't be the happy and exciting time it should be. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be without your husband's support. Wish I had some advice to give.

thinktink19's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 06/18/06
Posts: 1028

Congrats and HH9M, I am so sorry you husband is acting like that. Hopefully he comes around. My sons father never told me to get an abortion but at the end of the pregnancy he told me he didnt even want a baby and I pressured him into having it and that right there is pretty much when i knew it was over. Hopefully he will come around.

turtnjay's picture
Last seen: 4 years 1 month ago
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this when it should be an exciting time. I'm hoping he can get his head together and come to terms with everything and make the best of it. Good luck.

Last seen: 3 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/19/06
Posts: 550

CONGRATS ! I'm so sorry that your husband is so unhappy about this new pregnancy. I am hoping that he just needs some time to get used to the idea. A surprise pregnancy can catch anyone off guard and sometimes it just takes a little time for it to sink in. :bigarmhug:

Alissa_Sal's picture
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. :bighug: How stressful! I agree with the PPs, give it a couple of days to sink in, and then see if you can have a rational discussion with him about what his fears are in regards to having a new baby. Hopefully if it is something concrete like money, you two can sit down together and work out a plan that can help address the issue (like a budget to save money for the new baby.) If it is something less concrete like maybe he enjoys having older children and is hesitant to start over with that "baby stage" of life, maybe try to remind him how much he enjoyed your other two when they were babies, and also how quickly that baby stage goes by. Honestly, I wanted wanted wanted a baby, but once I got that BFP I started thinking about how much work babies are, and had a couple of "Oh crap" moments myself. Not that I didn't want the baby, just that it suddenly dawned on me that we had a lot of work and not much sleep in our near future, and just when our first is starting to be not quite as much work (sleeping through the night, almost potty trained, et cetera.) Anyway, hopefully if you can get to the bottom of why he is so opposed to having another, you can work through those feelings together. Many hugs! Keep us posted.

Jenn0113's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

What Alissa said. Surprise pregnancies can sometimes be hard to digest. I wanted a baby so bad but I have times when I stress about all the extra work we rare about to have when ds just got potty trained, sleeps through the night, doesn't take a paci anymore, etc. Our lives just got so much easier and now we are starting over. But maybe with time he will start to change his mind. I wouldn't rush into a divorce, just give him time.

Last seen: 5 years 4 weeks ago
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 148

Congratulations, Stacey!! I too am hoping that your husband will have the haze removed so that he can see that this precious little one is a gift and that it's a wonderful privilege to be a parent, not a burden. Huge hugs to you. :bigarmhug: Please keep us posted.

PsycheGal's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 12/07/08
Posts: 768

Well, Congratulations on your BFP!

I too am sorry to hear your DH is having a nervous breakdown. I agree maybe it caught him off guard and maybe he will come around after he's had time to think things through. In the meantime, try to enjoy your pregnancy and IMHO if you're happy, then revel in that feeling and hope that joy is contagious.

Last seen: 4 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/27/09
Posts: 251

so sorry to hear that your husband is being a poohead. sometimes men just say stupid things without really thinking about what they are saying and how it's going to make us feel.

when i got pregnant with DD four years ago, it was a surprise and her biodad absolutely did not want me to go through with the pregnancy. he too told me to get an abortion...when i refused, he said that he was praying for me to miscarry. i couldn't believe that someone who loved me could say such hurtful things. but there was lots of support around from friends and family, and i got through it...now i have a beautiful DD, i am married to an amazing man (not biodad) and we're expecting our little bean...and biodad eventually came around. he's not involved in her life, but he learned to be happy and not say stupid things.

so i guess my advice would be to hang in there....lean on friends and family for support...take care of yourself first...give your husband some time and he will come around one way or another. you already have 2 kids together, that's a huge bond and he'll eventually see that this is a blessing too.