I feel like crying

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Joined: 11/20/07
Posts: 171
I feel like crying

I don't even know how to feel right now.....vent starting.

A friend of mine surprised me with a baby shower two weekends ago and it was great. She put sooo much effort into it that it was way beyond anything I would have ever expected...I didnt't even want a baby shower since this is not my first child but hey it was a great surprise and I had a great time. Problem is, she failed to let my husband know about it because she thought he would ruin the surprise. He was pretty upset when he found out because he had contacted her over a month ago to ask her to plan a surprise for me but then she took the lead, organized the whole thing without telling him and was very selective of who she invited. She mostly invited my high school friends but did not even invite my mother and all my friends know my mom pretty well so that was kind of an insult to my mom too.

Now I have a cousin that none of my friends like much that is apparently planning another one for mostly my family and friends that weren't invited to the first ones and my friends are totally blowing it out of proportion. They think she is trying to compete with my other friends baby shower. They didnt want to tell me about it but I've already gotten several texts/emails/calls about it. At first I thought there was really no point of her doing another one but then I found out that it is my mother who has asked her to help her plan one and invite my family, DH family and other friends. My cousin just let my high school friends know just in case they wanted to attend but by no means were they expected to bring another gift. Now I am "not supposed to know" about all this but its upsetting that soo much is happening behind my back. I do feel as if my cousin and mom mean well because we are a close knit family....even my DH family is really really really close to some of my family members. When I was having my son, my mom hosted the shower at her place and over 50 people showed up (family and friends). I could understand that my friend wouldn't want all those people at her place but does she have a right to be soo upset that others would like to spoil me? Everyone should have just listened when I said that I did NOT want a baby shower for this baby and we wouldnt be having all these problems....

Vent over....!

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

Aww sorry you are caught in the middle of it. I would just tell your high school friends that you would love to see them again but please don't feel the need to bring a gift since they already got you one. I don't see any problem with your cousin doing a shower. IMO your friends shouldn't be insulted that there will be another shower for you. If anything they should be happy that you are getting another shower because so many people care about you! I would just tell your friend that you loved the shower that she had and she shouldn't feel the need to help out or bring a gift to the newest one since she already did so much.

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

*Lurker*

I know you said you're not suppose to know, but since you've gotten texts and things, could you suggest a "diaper shower" instead? And let them know if they feel as though they should bring a gift to get you some diapers and wipes and if they really really really want to they can bring an outfit too? I mean diapers are very appreciated, and if you're doing cloth diapering they could get you some of those?

I'm sorry that's happening. I understand you're mom feeling left out and hopefully the people don't start trying to make it a competitive thing and more feelings get hurt.

Try not to stress! (hugs)!

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

"JuneorJulyBaby?" wrote:

Aww sorry you are caught in the middle of it. I would just tell your high school friends that you would love to see them again but please don't feel the need to bring a gift since they already got you one. I don't see any problem with your cousin doing a shower. IMO your friends shouldn't be insulted that there will be another shower for you. If anything they should be happy that you are getting another shower because so many people care about you! I would just tell your friend that you loved the shower that she had and she shouldn't feel the need to help out or bring a gift to the newest one since she already did so much.

ITA. Your friend is being silly for being upset. Its your family, why wouldn't they want to celebrate your baby?

AmayaNSugar's picture
Joined: 01/08/07
Posts: 267

Sorry there is so much drama! Your friends and family shouldn't be putting you through this stress!