I give up :) I think I wanna find out the surprise now

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RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903
I give up :) I think I wanna find out the surprise now

Hi Ladies..

I think I am caving in Wink BUT I will have to talk my DH into it though.. we are planning to have a surprise baby but many people tell me to find out.. It’s so so tempting so I think I need to figure out a way to have Bobby my hubby be on the same page.. Strange thing is a surprise baby is something I always wanted to do.. The reason I am a bit leery is because my DH says it’s a [COLOR=Blue] BOY all the time. He says he does that because he doesn’t want to call the baby “IT” well my worry is that when the baby comes and it’s a GIRL.. I will just be sitting there worried about how he feels.. I only want happy thoughts nothing that will make it about anything other than the precious lil face staring back at us. I have brought this up to him and he just says he really feels it’s a boy but will be happy either way. I just don’t know what to do [/COLOR]:confused:

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

It's a tough decision. My DH always says the same thing. This time around he kept saying she, and I finally asked if he really felt girl or if he was just messing with me because I kept saying he...he was messing with me.

But I know for me, knowing the gender helps me bond and prepare mentally so that's helpful.

Many women I know have waited until birth to find out because there couldn't possibly be any disappointment once you have that gorgeous baby in your arms (but this a female side of view I've heard so not sure how it applies to males).

I say think about what you really want and just go for it but I do understand your fears.

AmberBella's picture
Joined: 02/15/07
Posts: 1831

It's always a surprise. If you find out while your still pregnant...it's still a great BIG surprise. You get both to be surprised and to prepare. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

It's also really fun to be able to go out and buy gender specific clothing while your pregnant. It really helped me prepare mentally when I was pregnant with Nathan.

verdouxkai's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 826

"AmberBella" wrote:

It's always a surprise. If you find out while your still pregnant...it's still a great BIG surprise. You get both to be surprised and to prepare. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

It's also really fun to be able to go out and buy gender specific clothing while your pregnant. It really helped me prepare mentally when I was pregnant with Nathan.

^^^This! Lol, of course I'm the worst to ask on this, because I'm such a planner that I HAVE to know! I can't wait to start buying things and decorating the nursery - I'd be way too tired to do that after having the baby, I'm sure! Plus I hate yellow, so a gender-neutral nursery is not happening for me, lol! Wink

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

"turtnjay;" wrote:

It's a tough decision.
But I know for me, knowing the gender helps me bond and prepare mentally so that's helpful.
Many women I know have waited until birth to find out because there couldn't possibly be any disappointment once you have that gorgeous baby in your arms (but this a female side of view I've heard so not sure how it applies to males).
I say think about what you really want and just go for it but I do understand your fears.

Yeah it is a very hard decision but like you mentioned it does help to be able to bond and prepare. Not knowing how he really is going to react I think we will find out. I think deep down he really wants his BOY first Smile

"AmberBella" wrote:

It's always a surprise. If you find out while your still pregnant...it's still a great BIG surprise. You get both to be surprised and to prepare. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

I like how you put that best of both worlds Smile If he was not constantly calling the baby a he I would go for the Big ending surprise. But since I really think deep down he really wants a boy it’s best to find out now but how to get him to go along with it.. that’s the hard part Smile

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

"verdouxkai" wrote:

^^^This! Lol, of course I'm the worst to ask on this, because I'm such a planner that I HAVE to know! I can't wait to start buying things and decorating the nursery - I'd be way too tired to do that after having the baby, I'm sure! Plus I hate yellow, so a gender-neutral nursery is not happening for me, lol! Wink

Well the thing is I have been collecting for such a long time I have clothes and many blankets for both genders Wink

But I am strongly leaning towards knowing but I just need to get my goofy DH Bobby Boo to get with the program lol Wink

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

I wanted a surprise this time too and ended up paying $100 to find out at 16 weeks. Like Amber said - its a surprise no matter when you find out. I'd say that if there is any chance of gender disappointment from mom or dad, find out asap so you can start bonding with the baby.

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

"Jenn0113" wrote:

I wanted a surprise this time too and ended up paying $100 to find out at 16 weeks. Like Amber said - its a surprise no matter when you find out. I'd say that if there is any chance of gender disappointment from mom or dad, find out asap so you can start bonding with the baby.

AGREE... AGREE... AGREE Smile (u just never know and I don't want to chance it) HaPPy TimeS

lesleynka's picture
Joined: 04/26/11
Posts: 1845

You are going to love the heck out of this child no matter what the sex & no matter when you find out so do whatever you want!!

You don't have to stick something like this out just b/c you said you wanted to. Changing your mind is OKAY!! Isn't that what women do? Especially pregnant ones? I can't even stick to what I feel like eating for more than 5 minutes. lol

Joined: 12/01/10
Posts: 997

I'm also feeling the excitement to find out now since some already know on the board & some co-workers found out recently. But I'm also savoring the anticipation of finding out at the end of August during our 20 wk scan. I think the biggest reason I want to find out now is because I'm hoping it will kick start DH's interest in picking a name.

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

"xtinagreen" wrote:

I'm also feeling the excitement to find out now since some already know on the board & some co-workers found out recently. But I'm also savoring the anticipation of finding out at the end of August during our 20 wk scan. I think the biggest reason I want to find out now is because I'm hoping it will kick start DH's interest in picking a name.

I thought the same thing - it didn't. He still doesn't think we are in a hurry.

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

"xtinagreen" wrote:

I'm also feeling the excitement to find out now since some already know on the board & some co-workers found out recently. But I'm also savoring the anticipation of finding out at the end of August during our 20 wk scan. I think the biggest reason I want to find out now is because I'm hoping it will kick start DH's interest in picking a name.

Well I hope it helps us pick a name verse all the list of names we have Smile

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

*lurking.. as usual!*

I always think that if either parent is leaning towards wanting one gender over the other, even a little bit, that you should find out!! If they both are 100% wanting either or, then a suprise would be fun!! I would just hate to be leaning a little towards wanting one gender and then not finding out towards the end...

Plus, if you plan to have more kids, theres always the next time letting it be a surpise!!!

Im 100% happy with either child I have next, however, I feel like the others, the 20 week is a big enough suprise to not wait! and I like to plan.. and.. even though I THINK im 100% on either way, I feel if I DIDNT know I'd still WANT both.!! Like right now, I want a boy.. but I want a girl too!! So when I found out I could be happy, yet I would stop "wanting" the other gender as well!!!

U could always have them write it for you, and open it later if you want... orrr.. don't find out and then pay to find out later if you wanted!!

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

"lemonlemon" wrote:

*lurking.. as usual!*

I always think that if either parent is leaning towards wanting one gender over the other, even a little bit, that you should find out!! If they both are 100% wanting either or, then a suprise would be fun!! I would just hate to be leaning a little towards wanting one gender and then not finding out towards the end...

Plus, if you plan to have more kids, theres always the next time letting it be a surpise!!!

Im 100% happy with either child I have next, however, I feel like the others, the 20 week is a big enough suprise to not wait! and I like to plan.. and.. even though I THINK im 100% on either way, I feel if I DIDNT know I'd still WANT both.!! Like right now, I want a boy.. but I want a girl too!! So when I found out I could be happy, yet I would stop "wanting" the other gender as well!!!

U could always have them write it for you, and open it later if you want... orrr.. don't find out and then pay to find out later if you wanted!!

Awww that is a GREAT idea to have them write it down.. I talked with my hubby last night and we are going to find out .. yayyyyyyyyy.. I am excited already.. I will repost a message so those that I chatted with during this message will know what we decided Smile