I need some good advice.

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merickson's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 6 months ago
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I need some good advice.

So not to throw myself a pitty party, but I can honestly say I hope being an adult isn't as hard as this last year has been on me. (I'm 21 so I keep having like adult-shock.) Okay I will give you a quick idea of my last 12 months then I need help!

August 2010- My husband decides to leave me (cheating highly suspected)
Then we work things out kind of.

October, my boss pushes my down the stairs the day before my daughters big birthday party... yeah I missed it and got tons of nice stiches in my knee.

December- get in a car wreck on a test drive(was a car salesman) in and out of the hospital for 2 months missing christmas almost loosing my car due to not working

Finally me and my husband at this point are getting back on track working out our differences ,

then comes febuary..... Find a lump in my breast, get to get a mammogram and biopsy yay, btw still haven't went back to follow up with this

April- pregnant no insurance crap!

June (last month) Find out my husband has a secret credit card that is overlly maxed out that he has been secretly paying with 'our' money

July- get a letter in the mail that my checks are going to be garnished from an outstanding medical bill

thinktink19's picture
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Im sorry your having such a rough time Sad I hope things start working out for you soon.

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
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I'm sorry everything "bad" just seems to be happening this year. But I just have to say WTF with your boss pushing you down the stairs????? Do you still work there? Did you report it to human resources? That is so f'ed up!

verdouxkai's picture
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omg what else could go wrong!? I'm sorry you're dealing with all this. The two things I would put in my two cents about:

1. You and DH need to work all this drama out, there are way too many communication isues happening here - believe me, counseling works! And it doesn't have to be expensive...I'm sure you could find a school with a psych program or a church that does $5 a session. DH and I had our rough patches and it was invaluable.

2. You need to follow up on your medical issues - I used to be the worst about ignoring a situation and hoping it would go away...that doesn't work with relationships, finances or medical problems...please be sure and follow up with your doc.

I say you need to focus on these things because they are way more important than the money stuff. The money stuff is annoying, stressful, and follows you around, but until you have a good foundation of your health and family, it can WAIT.

It sounds like you are dealing with a LOT. If you need someone to talk to you can always PM me. Everything is fixable, you just have to go through all the uncomfortable crap to get there...

Ok, stepping off my soapbox now and giving you a lot of hugs! :bigarmhug:

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Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
Joined: 11/20/07
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Wow...sorry to hear you are going through soo much :bigarmhug:

I hope everything works out between your husband and you. As for the lump in your breast pls follow up on that ASAP...you have a daughter that needs you and if it is actually something serious the earlier the better. Although I do understand that you are in the US and you guys have to deal with paying for health care...coming from a place where health care is free I have alot of difficulty even understanding how a country can refuse to treat people if they have no insurance....Could you maybe qualify for medicaid ( I think thats what its called). I know we have places here where you can go and they contact credit offices and work out payment plans on your behalf so that checks do not get garnished? Would you know if that is something you may have near you?

Jenn0113's picture
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Life really does seem to go in waves - when it rains it pours. Seems like you have been on a downward spiral and surely it will pick up soon.

As far as the medical stuff - I didn't know they could do that. I've owed money to hospitals before and have never been told that. You should really investigate that possibility more.

lesleynka's picture
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I am so sorry. I don't really know what else to add to what others have said, except one step at a time.

You cannot take it all on in one lump. You need to separate the issues: money, relationship, health, etc. and then come up w/ a plan to tackle each one over time. It should seem a little less overwhelming that way.

And yes, as for relationship, counseling is good, but it sounds like there is no, and maybe should be no trust if there is cheating & lying going on.

Renee595's picture
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There is nothing more I can add that hasn't already been said so here's a big: :bigarmhug:

velasquez09's picture
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I would totally look into medicaid! Im also sorry it seems like ur world is crashing down on you! Baby steps, one thing at a time!!!

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Wow! I'm just going to offer {{{hugs}}} and send positive thoughts your way because I think the pp's have given you excellent advice.

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Wow...that is a lot of stuff for a person to go through, especially in a year's time. I hope things get better. I do want to say please, please follow up on the test results re: lump in your breast, especially if you never got conclusive or favorable results from the testing that was done already. This hits a personal note with me from a daughter's point of view. We found out my dad had received melanoma news 2 years ago when he had a growth removed from his knee, he never told us about it at the time nor followed up on it until he was hospitalized earlier this year and it was discovered to have advanced to stage 4, then he decided to share that info and we lost him shortly after. I wish my dad had seeked medical attention sooner because he might have been here to share in the excitement of my first child. In the end, I hope that your health is well and your children spared the pain of losing a parent too soon.