I seriously need to stop. (OT)

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kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798
I seriously need to stop. (OT)

I was looking at finances today and realized I have a serious spending issue. I didn't realize it was that bad. I used to be so good at not spending. I'm so tempted to shred my debit card that it's not even funny. I'm so mad at myself right now! Because of my stupid spending we are going to go under in our account once again. Sad thing is is no matter how many financial plans I make for the month I still do it. It's a serious problem that i'm so tempted to tell DH to take away my car keys so I can't go anywhere, unless I have a play date for the boys. I'm seriously so pissed at myself right now. I'm such an idiot. I'm not a credit card user thank goodness but still my spending is causing stress on our checking account which is affecting DH's credit. Sad I feel like the worst wife ever right now.

Sorry about the pitty party. I just needed to go to someone that wont chew me out or tell DH. I can't tell DH that it's my fault. I just need to stop spending that's that. You don't have to respond I just needed to vent about it somewhere. Sad

lesleynka's picture
Joined: 04/26/11
Posts: 1845

Krista,

You are not an idiot! You are realizing the problem & the solution, the difficult part is going to be implementing it. YOU CAN DO IT!!

It's not like I am perfect when it comes to spending, but here is a little trick I do....even tho, I gotta tell ya, it doesn't always work.

When I have something in my hand/cart I ask myself before I purchase it, "Do i NEED this or do i WANT this?" There are many times I just walk out of a place & just leave a cart full of whatever sitting in some random aisle.

It doesn't always take a big fix to make something work. baby steps girl...YOU GOT THIS!

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Thanks Lesley! I'm just feeling like a huge idiot right now. This entire time I though it was DH doing all the spending, after all I don't go shopping that much. Problem is is when I go to "the store" I spend big but I do a lot of little purchases here and there that add up. I know if I'm stuck at home that wont really happen cause I wont be able to get out. I actually wrapped my debit card up in a piece of card stock and wrapped packaging tape around it several times and then put it in a place I hopefully can forget about, Please pregnancy brain don't fail me now. lol.

I just really REALLY hope I can get over this. It's seriously harming my relationship and putting us at huge risk of loosing something. I'm done though. I refuse to go shopping any more with out DH. I don't spend when DH is with me, just when I'm alone.

lesleynka's picture
Joined: 04/26/11
Posts: 1845

we all have our faults. at least yours is fixable Smile lol.

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

Girl, know we have all been there at one time or another.

I used to a clothes BUYER! And not cheap clothes...nope, $200 jeans, $500 shoes, $1000 purses...bad, bad, bad.

I finally got to the point where I realized none of it was worth it. Not the $, not the stress, not the momentary happiness of having a super nice item. My DH is/was very supportive of my buying habits way back when. We were both just young and didn't realize how it actually affected us.

Now, I do the same thing as Lesley, and I walk out of stores with nothing! When we go grocery shopping, I set a budget and take cash, even clothes shopping. If I only gave $100 dollars it makes me pic and choose whats most important.

Also we put away a lot of money into our savings and that's nit attached to our account and we don't touch it. Watching that balance increase is amazingly satisfying. FYI- while we have 3 cars, only has a car seat and that's the one DH takes to work. If I have to go somewhere, we walk. And going to grocery or target while walking is great because I am limited to what I can carry home easily. Example: I really wanted a soda today but Coke only does caffeine free in 12 packs. I didn't want to carry it home so I didn't get it.

gaidinsgirl's picture
Joined: 08/28/06
Posts: 2004

:lurk:

One thing that works for me is to calculate how many hours my dh has to work ( I stay home with the kids, he brings in our only income) in order to pay for what I am wanting to buy. It really helps me put it into perspective.

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

:bigarmhug:

Maybe try hiding your debit card/credit cards and only have a certain amount of cash for each week for everything. GOOD LUCK.

merickson's picture
Joined: 06/21/11
Posts: 180

I went through this almost exact same thing in december this year, and I cut my debit card up, and had my husband get me like 10-20 dollars here and there for lunch and etc.. then by the time I saw our account looking in decent shape it made me so happy that once I finally got my debit card back it made my outlook change. So maybe try to taking it away for a while... it sucks at first but it is totally worth it

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

It's wrapped up really good and hidden. Hoping that works. If it doesn't I will seriously just shred it. It's the only thing I can think of doing to keep me from spending. I NEED to change.

lesleynka's picture
Joined: 04/26/11
Posts: 1845

Krista,

Have you heard about icing it? Some people say that if you freeze your card in a block of ice & you feel you REALLY need to purchase something, that the amount of time it will take to thaw will give you sufficient time to reevaluate the purchase & make sure it is rational.

Just throwing that out there......