my life since baby

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James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232
my life since baby

first let me start off with an apology for falling off the face of the earth. i finally left my dh. Things got to be too much and since ive had cash my entire outlook on everything has completely changed. You all know my labor was a difficult time and after I had cash my dh (wes) left me in the hospital for a week by myself. he came for maybe 45 min around 10pm and one day he never even showed up. It was even worse with the baby. He went and saw him about 4 times for an hour the entire 10 days he was in the hospital. Great father right? All the nurses thought I was a single mom; it was quite embarressing to have to say no Im married. Come to find out wes was drinking all night and having friends over for steak dinners etc. My entire pregnancy i warned him that I would not tolerate drinking in the house once the baby was here and he told he he understood. well the 3rd night cash was home I woke up with him at about 430 cause he kept holding his breathe. I called down the stairs cause wes was still awake and asked him to watch cash while i went to the bathroom cause he was making me nervous. Oh and let me just say that wes has not once helped with anything with the baby at all. But anyways he said ya and he took the baby downstairs while I was in the bathroom. I get out and start walking down the stairs and immediatly smell the alcohol. I take one look at wes and see that he is drunk and i knew from that moment that I was leaving. I ended up taking cash to the hospital and wes asked if i wanted him to drive.... wow. I drove of course and we were at the hospital; wes smelling like alcohol and he gets upset cause I told him that i would be leaving and going back to az and im not sure when but that I have given him more than enough chances and this was just too much. Oh AND I brought cash home from the hospital for the first time ALONE of course. but anyways wes didnt like what i had to say so he stormed out of the er and called my mom which was 3am her time to tell her that he is buying drugs for me on the street... real appropriate huh? We get home and the next day I supppose he thinks that i wasnt serious with what i said the night before and he goes out and buys more alcohol and i go to sleep after I tell him I would be looking up plane tickets. I wake up in the middle of the night to doors slamming and things dropping. I grab the baby and walk downstairs at 3-4am and he is outside gettting in his car. I ask where he is going he says he didnt know and again is drunk. So he comes back inside continues to bug me about when im leaving how long ill be gone for etc. I inform him he needs help and needs to decide what he wants out of life but he wasnt going to bring cash nor myself down in the process that I have done everything I know hwo to do to help. so he tells me that he thinks i should just get the f out right now. he goes upstairs to pack my stuff for me and i tell him ill do it and i put the baby down and wes goes downstairs and starts breaking things. i yelled down the stairs that if he continued to act that way and break things with my son in the house then i would be calling the cops. so he takes it upon himself to call the cops. they show up and give me 20 min to pack mine and cash's things and leave. i will never forgive him. he said some really horrible things to me about myself and cash. i wont put my son around any negativity, i later come to find out that wes stole money from me while i was in recovery from the c section and gave it to his other babys mother. this was 800$. I was called fat ugly boring and an embarresment. I rather not say what was said about cash. Now wes is supposedly sober and wants us back and wants us to go to counseling. I can not trust this man and my son is the most important person to me and i will not risk putting him in a situation like that ever again. What kind of mother would I be? So that is, believe it or not long story short as to why i have n ot been around. Cash is doing great though. He is so amazing. We sleep good, eat good and things just have clicked for me. His bilirubin is still high but that will get better. he is 5.14 now. Im just a happy mama. I hope u all are doing good and happy and healthy babies are coming home to you.

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

I am so SO glad you got out of that relationship! You are so lucky that he never hurt you or your baby. Sorry he called the cops on you but at least you got out of there safe. I hope all continues to go well with you and your sweet baby boy! You are an awesome mom don't let anyone tell you different.

Ventana's picture
Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

No doubt you have made the BEST decision for you and little Cash - for that you should be proud! That situation sounds just so stressful and awful...good for you for removing yourself and your baby from it and beginning the process of making a better life for your little family. Smile

Joined: 01/19/06
Posts: 550

I was just thinking of you yesterday, wondering how you were doing. I'm so sorry things have been so rough. I'm glad that you and Cash are safe now. Sounds like you were stuck in a horrible situation. :bigarmhug:

thinktink19's picture
Joined: 06/18/06
Posts: 1028

Im so proud of you Smile your such an awesome mommy and cash is so lucky to have you. He's a whole whopping oz bigger than Maya Smile

James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232

Thanks ladies. Things have been a lot less stressful. Im still in north carolina until cash gains a little bit more weight but im staying with my grandma. Cash makes me so happy and he really is so much fun to take care of. I appreciate everyones support. Lisa you have been awesome!

AmberBella's picture
Joined: 02/15/07
Posts: 1831

I'm so glad you got yourself out of what sounds like a terrible situation! I'm sorry that he couldn't man up the way he should. Good for you for recognizing it and for getting yourself and your child out of there.

Joined: 07/21/02
Posts: 1006

Good for you for getting out--I wish you the best!

Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

*lurker* I commend you for being the strong woman that you are ! Your husband will reap what he sowed!G/L with everything

Mommyin0406080912's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It must be so hard on you. You just had a baby. It was the right thing to do. I hope you and Cash can start living a healthy life and move on. I am sending you lots of hugs!

RoniBoo's picture
Joined: 06/07/11
Posts: 903

(hugs). Sounds like you did the best thing mcomma Wink even though it's hard at times just think of the peaceful times with your little man Wink

thinktink19's picture
Joined: 06/18/06
Posts: 1028

"James87" wrote:

Lisa you have been awesome!

You've been pretty awesome too!

James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232

Believe it or not taking care of him by myself is way easier than having to worry about some drunk asshole and if he is going to go crazy. He was never any help so I guess I was just used to it already.

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
Joined: 10/20/08
Posts: 2479

I'm glad you got out of that situation Jamie. :bigarmhug:. I know you are in Raleigh and I am in Greenville (1.5 hrs away) but if you ever need a place to go you can always come to my house. I will PM you my phone number in case you need it.

Joined: 04/27/09
Posts: 251

OMG, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. What an awful thing to have to go through, right after having a baby!! You definitely did the right thing getting out. It sounds like your husband needs some serious help. You and your baby are in a much better environment now.

"James87" wrote:

Believe it or not taking care of him by myself is way easier than having to worry about some drunk asshole and if he is going to go crazy. He was never any help so I guess I was just used to it already.

I was a single momma from the moment that my DD1 was born (well, conceived really...her dad bailed before the pee on the stick was dry)....and I can tell you that even though there are (and will be) tough times when you're going it alone, you are right that not having the stress of dealing with some jerk makes it MUCH easier to handle. You get to have your little angel all to yourself, and like you said, you don't have to worry about when the next round of fire is going to go off.

PM me any time...I know that going it alone is scary, but it can be done...and it can be the best thing you ever did. Smile

James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232

Thank you every one for your support. I really apppreciate u all.

Tanylisa's picture
Joined: 08/30/07
Posts: 770

So sorry your going through all this,but so glad that you got out of that situation! Hang in there :bigarmhug:

Renee595's picture
Joined: 12/09/05
Posts: 307

So glad you and your little guy are doing well! Glad to hear you are safe!

Joined: 06/04/11
Posts: 573

Glad you got out of there! Take good care of yourself and Cash. You are a brave woman- there are a lot that wouldn't leave and stay in a difficult situation.

verdouxkai's picture
Joined: 03/05/07
Posts: 826

I just now saw this thread! I just wanted to add in with the other ladies that you are incredibly strong and I'm so glad that you got yourself and your baby out of that situation. I'm so glad you two are doing ok, and even though I'm so sorry it happened (especially when it did), I think you made the best decision possible for your and Cash's happiness! :bigarmhug:

Joined: 12/01/10
Posts: 997

Sorry this is happening to you with everything else you've been through recently. I'm glad that you decided to leave for a better life for you and Cash.