People and their mouths

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People and their mouths

speaking before their brain kicks in! So, dh and I are way excited to be having another boy. We have two, we know boys are wonderful! Yes, it would have also been nice to have a girl-give dd the sister that she wanted, use my girl stuff again. BUT ITS A HEALTHY BABY!! I have had SEVERAL people hear that we are having another boy and have their reaction be "oh, I'm sorry" or "oh, bummer" What the heck, people! After several m/c's, I'm just happy the baby is healthy and growing! Even if we were not planning on more kids (which we always were) I'd be happy with 3 boys and 1 girl.

I went to a baby shower for one of my very best friends who is moving next week (due in November) so we had it early (it was just a "sprinkle", as she has 3 other kids). At that party were a bunch of mutual friends, but not ones I really do anything with or see more than just in passing at church or other gatherings. One of them (who has 2 boys and then a girl) was the one to say "oh, I'm sorry" complete with a reassuring tap on my shoulder. I said "um, why? We're really happy to have a boy". She seemed shocked and said "oh, well...as long as you're happy, that's great" I would think she would "get it" since she lost a little girl right before her dd at like 17 weeks. I then told her that we always have a chance if we want to try for another girl, since we are not done. She seemed shocked that I am pregnant with #4 and talking about #5 (which was ALWAYS our plan--at least 5 with the last 2 being 18m-2y apart).

It just makes me frustrated. And I'm wondering if it is a gender thing. If I had 2 girls and 1 boy, would it be the same if I were pg with another girl? I actually asked a few of my friends at church today--one who had 2 girls and a boy and then a baby girl last year. She said no one really apologized to her, the most they said was "oh, your poor boy to be the only one" not like "poor YOU to have another girl". I talked to another friend who has the exact same as me--boy, girl, boy (almost the same ages too!) and is pg due in Dec with a boy. I asked about reactions she had and she said she has had people tell her sorry too, but she said she understood because she had told those people they were hoping for a girl and to be done, but now she's thinking about a 5th to have another girl.

Anyways, sorry for the long rant. I just am getting sick of people opening their mouths without using their brains.

thinktink19's picture
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People just need to stop and think before they speak. I guess that most people think that women want nothing but girls so when they have boys I guess they automatically assume that woman is going to be upset about it. A baby is a baby as long as it is healthy. You need to get you a shirt that says "YES its another boy and YES im very excited about it" hehe

AmayaNSugar's picture
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People can be such jerks! I get the rude comments when I mention that I want another girl. They ask me why I would want another girl when boys are so much better and easier to handle. Some comment that boys always love their mothers but girls don't. As long as I have a healthy baby it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter to them. I find out what I'm having next week and will have to ignore all the rude people if it is a girl!!

Renee595's picture
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Wow...I can relate. This weekend when telling people we are having another boy people seemed disappopinted?? We wanted another "healthy baby"! Boy or Girl made no difference to us, just as with all of you!

JuneorJulyBaby?'s picture
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Some people talk before thinking WAY too much. I'm sure I would have had a ton of "sorrys" if we were having a boy too, when we felt the same way you do- all we want is a HEALTHY baby!

merickson's picture
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Yeah I definitely think it's weird to apologize when they don't even know if you had a preference, for all they know maybe you really wanted a 3rd boy! Sorry Smile congratulations again on the healthy baby!

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It seems like some people have little mind syndrome. Sad

kridda_88's picture
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I totally agree that it seems that most people "apologize" when you have mostly boys. Honestly I would love 50/50 but if I have mostly boys, or all boys, It would be less drama than girls. Yes boys have more energy and are a little harder to handle energy wise but I can handle that over all the drama girls give you when they get older. Growing up with t other sisters, I know how much attitude and drama goes on in a house full of girls and could do with out it.

I swear people view boys as a burden rather than the cute energetic spirits they are. Girls can be just as big of pains as boys can.

MrsSchepp's picture
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**lurker**

oh, i just HAD to chime in on this Smile people were legitimately sad for us when we found out sawyer was a boy. i was always like, "Um...why???" I LOVED being a mom of all boys and was so excited to add him to our brood! It was even worse when we had Elliot. All kinds of dumb comments like, "You finally got your girl" and thing like that. Yes, like I had just been popping those boys out and throwing them to the side until I FINALLY got my girl. *insert hugest eye roll ever* No, we finally got our 5th child...gender mattered not! And gender doesn't matter this time either. People are just plain silly when it comes to stuff like this...

beachbabe22's picture
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***Lurker from July09***

I have a DD born in 2003, and when i found out i was having a boy due July 2009, people were like ohh now your all set! You have 1 of each! And when i say I want more in the future, they all ask "WHY??, you have one of each! Then one will be out numbered" I say.. I dont get why that matters? I just want more kids!

blondiess4u's picture
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**Lurker**

I just had to jump in on this because this is only our second boy and when people ask what the gender is and I tell them, they kinda sigh like it's a bad thing and I should be disappointed. because it should be a girl?!? We are very happy to have 2 boys, but it kinda makes me want to tell people I don't know what I am having so I don't get that kind of reaction. It's one thing if you want a specific gender, it's another for someone else to want something different.

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"beachbabe22" wrote:

***Lurker from July09***

I have a DD born in 2003, and when i found out i was having a boy due July 2009, people were like ohh now your all set! You have 1 of each! And when i say I want more in the future, they all ask "WHY??, you have one of each! Then one will be out numbered" I say.. I dont get why that matters? I just want more kids!

I had the same reaction after dd! I got the "perfect, one of each, you can be DONE!" Um, no, I actually wanted 5 or 6 (or 8? lol) but who are you to say I can be done?!