I'm not really scared, per se. But I am kind of hesitant.
As of right now I keep flip flopping between thinking boy or girl. Just when I start to think it's a boy, something will make me start thinking it's a girl. And when I start thinking about girl names, something says why are you even doing that because it's a boy.
With DS#4 I just KNEW he was a boy. About 14 weeks or so, I just KNEW. And by the time the u/s came along I was afraid because I had already bonded with my SON. I had daydreams of crying (sad tears) hearing it's a girl. But on u/s day, we were told boy, with no doubt and I was so excited.
Right now, I can honestly say I don't care what gender I have but I feel like flip flopping and not knowing is giving me a bit of time to play with either gender. And I can honestly say there may be some sadness no matter what they say.
If it's a boy, I will be elated. Yes, 5 boys but my little men are magical and adding another would be awesome. Watching Rourke tromp around and thinking of him having a little buddy following him just lights my heart up. If it's a girl, I will be elated mostly because I am a clothes w*ore and love pink and frilly and I know she will love Rourke and all her big brothers and follow them around, too. And it's a new experience but I am a bit nervous to raise a girl.
So, yeah, anyone else kind of afraid or hesitant to find out the gender because of it's finality? I think this is also one reason I couldn't wait until birth. I know I would start bonding with baby as a gender and without confirmation I cannot even think about the disappointment that would come if it weren't that gender.
Or am I alone in this kooky feeling!?