UPDATE on cash me and dh

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James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232
UPDATE on cash me and dh

Well first ill start with the most important.
Cash: He is doing good, billirubin has stayin the normal range for the past 4 days, he is a great nurser and loves to eat. He got out of the incubator today so im really hoping he is able to keep his temp regulated and the neo said that if he can then he will be home thursday or friday so im really hoping hes able to. I have faith he can cause hes so awesome. I am at the hospital constantly with him until night time when they tell me to leave and get some rest they should be moving him to a ped's room and letting me stay one night with him but im not sure if thats going to happen or not or if he will just come home with me. The only concern now is the weight thing. He eats a lot and sometimes he doesnt know when to stop so he will end up spitting up some so i really need to learn when he is full so he wont have to spit some up. He was born at 5 10, dropped down to 5 2 in a couple days then went up to 5 3 in 12 hours then 12 hours later was an even 5 so he isnt getting enough calories from my breast milk. I asked the LC if there was anything to do to bump up the calories in my milk that may have been a dumb question but i asked anyways. So the answer is no there isnt anything i can do. But she did tell me the hind milk has more calories in it so if i pump an ounce out before i breastfeed then he will just be getting the slightly higher calorie milk so im going to try that. In my opinion I think he lost the weight because they changed his feeding schedule from every 3 hours to every 4 hours and since he is so small i think he needs to be fed every 3 hours again and maybe if he wants snacks inbetween then they should give it to him. The neo wants to supplement with e22 in my breast milk when they feed him from the bottle at night. I rather not have to do that but if thats what best then of course i wouldnt fuss over it.

Me: Im still recovering, pain is a little less but the swelling increased and its hard for me to get around. I love breastfeeding I think its wonderful and im so glad him and I can have that bonding. Im so exhausted after every feeding and I was told that its from the hormones and the breastfeeding that make me feel sedated almost. I have the house clean and his room ready for him. Im just ready to be with my baby again its been so hard for me having to be away from him. Im definitely anxious for thrusday or friday.

DH: Things have been alright. He isnt understanding the way I feel about being seperated from cash. We have been distant with eachother and I can tell hes really hurt by it and last night he confessed his undying love for me and cash and how thats all he wants in this world is to be a family. We will see. I havent been home much and wes doesnt go to the hospital very often. While I was in the hospital he would come once a day for 45 min and there was a day where he just he didnt come at all. After cash gets out of the hospital and cleared from his ped he and I will be going to the west coast for 3 weeks to be with family. There isnt any arguing theres just a lot of distance in between us.

thinktink19's picture
Joined: 06/18/06
Posts: 1028

I really hope Cash gets to come home Thursday, he needs to be home with mommy. I am glad he has been doing so well. I bet your really excited to go home and be with your family. I know I would be! Hopefully Wes comes around. Men are weird when it comes to stuff like that.

Mommyin0406080912's picture
Joined: 02/16/08
Posts: 1644

I hope you can bring Cash home in time for Christmas. The best place for him is home with you. I hope you can go to a ped room and stay with him.

I hope he starts gaining weight soon and I am surprised they are not making him eat every 3 hours due to his size. With my 2nd daughter she was tiny and even though she wouldn't wake every 3 hours they made me wake her even in the nicu. At least they are not telling you to give him formula.

I pray things get better with you and hubby. I had 2 nicu babies and it's really hard for both mom and dad. My husband never understood how I felt, when you have a baby you get this instant bond and not being able to do mommy things makes it a lot harder.

Sending prayers and lots of hugs!

Thank you for updating us and when you can more pictures!! I need to see some tiny newborns!!!

AmberBella's picture
Joined: 02/15/07
Posts: 1831

I'm shocked they're not having you nurse him every 2 hrs as that is the normal recommendation for breastfed newborns. I'd request seeing him much more frequently for nursing. He should be nursing a LOT...it's pretty much non-stop nursing at the beginning. Nathan would nurse for a 45 minute session and then wake up an hour later to nurse again.

EDIT: adding this from Kellymom.com

Nurse at the first signs of hunger (stirring, rooting, hands in mouth)—don't wait until baby is crying. Allow baby unlimited time at the breast when sucking actively, then offer the second breast. Some newborns are excessively sleepy—wake baby to nurse if 2 hours (during the day) or 4 hours (at night) have passed without nursing. Once baby has established a good weight gain pattern, you can stop waking baby and nurse on baby's cues alone.

Glad to hear you're doing okay. It must be SO hard to not be able to take your little one home. Too bad DH isn't more understanding. I don't know that men don't understand things like this. I know if it were my DH...you couldn't make him leave the hospital. He'd be there every minute....both to support me and be there for his child. No...obviously fathers don't have the same hormonal drive that mothers do...but there really should be some.

Joined: 06/29/07
Posts: 144

I agree with the PP about the them not letting you nurse more frequently. With Natalie I actually got a talking to because I wasn't waking Natalie up frequently enough to eat. She was a sleepy baby, and to this day won't really tell you when she is hungry.

James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232

Ya im there all day with him and totally agree I should be nursing him more often. The lactation consultant even thinks I should be nursing him ever 2-3 hours and if he wants a "snack" inbetween then I should be able to do that too. Its just been stressful and ridiculous. I will post a new thread with pictures later this evening. I have tons and tons.

Joined: 10/05/09
Posts: 672

I totally agree you should nurse him as often as he'll take it. We just brought our nicu baby home a week ago and face many of the same issues: not feeding enough, jaundice, tons of differing advice and pushy nurses. I currently breastfeed as much as I can but also pump and top up each feeding as he'll take it. That way I can be sure he is getting enough. They are so little that their jaw muscles aren't as strong yet and they don't get as much milk out as a term baby.

My advice (if any): stick to your guns. This is your baby and if you want to feed him every 2-3 hours do it. I know the nurses can make you feel like they own the child and it's so upsetting, but they don't! I was told to feed every 2-3 hours.

I am so sorry you got discharged and cash is still there. I was terrified this would happen and really feel for you. It is incredibly hard emotionally. I really hope they will budge and let you use a bed. At my hospital they would let you use a bed but not have nursing care or feed you which is great.

I am also sorry about DH. I feel a little similar with DH now. He isn't as supportive as he could be and seems a little distant. I dont know why. Hope your DH comes around!! Big hugs - this is a tough time for you emotionally and I wish you and the little guy all the best!

James87's picture
Joined: 05/07/11
Posts: 232

I def feel like they own my son and im just a "visitor" i broke down tonight and ended up speaking a little too freely about how this is all bull**** and for them to be so jaded towards how this would make a parent feel is just ridiculous and they should find their hearts that they seemed to have missplaced. The dr said to take him out of the incubator today THEY DIDNT instead they turned up the temp in it which now will have to slowely decrease temp so i guess I can say goodby to his homecoming thursday or friday. im so angry

Joined: 01/19/06
Posts: 550

:bigarmhug: My first was sick right after birth and had to be in the hospital for a week and a half. It was absolutely heart wrenching having to leave him there when I was released. I remember those days well. I was up every 2-3 hrs at night pumping while I was at home and then I spent my days at the hospital with him. I understand how incredibly difficult this time is for you and I really hope that you are able to take your little man home soon. Please KUP on how you and Cash are doing. (((HUGS)))