** Lurker from Oct board ** I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn't help read your post because I grew up in an abusive household too.
Last edited by WhiteWolf68; 02-09-2013 at 04:34 PM.
Kyle 11/10/05, Connor 09/10/07
Faelynn & Finnley 09/24/12
I am so sorry you had to go through all that. My husband went through a similar situation with his parents growing up. He was abused from the time he was a very small child and his parents treated him with nothing but hate and disdain. He has two younger siblings, but like your siblings, they were also loved and treated much differently. Because there is such a huge age difference between them, they don't know what my husband's life was like and whenever he has tried to tell them why he isn't close to their family, they've basically told him he's lying. Most recently, my MIL started a bunch of crap with me and my DH and she cussed both of us out, sent me an email calling him a p***y and telling me we can all (kids too I guess) go choke on our own s**t. Umm...what a bunch of garbage. I too don't understand how a woman can carry a child and then hate it so much. Why are these people mothers? I'm grateful that yours had you and that my DH's had him, but it's a shame that you've had to go through what you went through, and my DH too. Cutting all ties is the only thing you can do, and determine in yourself to be a wonderful mother to your children. One thing I will tell you my DH learned years ago (he's a tad older than me so he's had a while to deal with this)...you have to somehow find it in yourself to forgive your mother and not carry bitterness or hatred toward her so that you don't end up repeating the very behaviors that you hate. It doesn't seem like anyone would do that, but hatred and unforgiveness can seriously cause that. My husband's dad did that very thing, and ended up becoming the man that he hated in his own dad. And by the way, forgiveness doesn't equal forgetting. You can forgive her and never speak to the woman again!
Oh man. When parents abuse their kids and when they let their significant other abuse their kids it really really makes me mad! Kids are your KIDS. Period. I know there will always be hurt there...but I think that you've done a good job of moving past that. It shows a lot about you and your character that you are in love with your LO even before birth - having gone through all that with your mother.
Good luck! You're gonna do great!
Again i cant thank you ladies enough for all of these kind words! Amberc727 thank you for sharing that with me. My DH and i haveboth decided that my mom is poison and she will never be allowed near our family or kids until she gets REAL LIFE-CHANGING psychological help. I'm a mom now and i have to protect my son and my family from the kind of person my mother is.