Gah...My sister is a planner and wants my list of guests to invite soon so she can start working on the plan. I'm so confused who to invite!! My sister, MIL, and our friend David (DH's and my best friend who is also gay and has much experience with baby showers) are helping the planning.
I generally don't have many girl friends and most of my close friends (in real life) are male. We already decided on a co-ed/family shower that is more informal. MIL thought it was a little odd at first, then she met David and they hit it off so I think she understands. They are small town and not really exposed to many...alternative lifestyles. We will have at least 3 gay male couples there so I hope she's ok with that!
The rules I'm reading online say that about 20 should be your max if you are holding it in a house (it will be at my sisters or my house, not sure yet).
Should I invite old friends whose showers I went to, even if I haven't talked met up with them or talked much in years? This is the one part I'm confused about. Also...what about the people who might want to come but I don't know they do and I don't want to offend them by not offering? Maybe have some kind of informal luncheon at a restaurant instead for those friends?
My family, minimum will be 6, max 11.
DH's family, minimum will be 5, max 9.
Friends of DH and I, minimum 7, max 12.
Is that too many people? I feel like I'm going to miss someone. We missed someone on our wedding that we found out after the fact was quite offended and I'm so scared of that happening again!
Old friends you haven't talked to in years, I would say no.
I've been to showers of all sizes.. my first (my family/friends) had less than 10 people. MIL threw me one for all her siblings and neices and cousins etc (it's just what they do for all bridal/baby showers in her family), and there were probably closer to 30-40. I went to one last weekend for a dear friend who is adopting, and there were 60 people there. Those last two I mentioned were in fellowship halls of churches, and the first one was in my living room.
As to people who might want to come but you don't know it.. How would you know to invite them?
With baby showers, I *think* most people understand if they don't get invited, and if they want to give gifts, they will anyway.
Reserving a back room at a restaurant isn't a bad idea. Then you might have more space than if you were in your living room.
Your/DH's family and friends- that sounds like a good group. Not too many, I don't think. And co-ed sounds like a great option in your situation.
So max you will invite 32 people? I would just go ahead and invite them all. People decline, people accept but don't show. I think you'll end up with a reasonable number.