DH's family have just decided in the last few days that they want to move back to Ontario/Toronto to find work, as there is very little work where they live (the East Coast has lots of joblessness problems).
Logically, they would have to stay with us while they get settled. This could be a few weeks to a few months.
THIS IS FREAKING ME OUT! I do NOT want them staying with us at all. On my end, I do NOT like people in my personal space. I get panic attacks if people are in my space for more than a few hours. I don't like people touching my things. I don't want people in my bathroom or in my kitchen using my kitchen tools or pots and pans. I don't want people eating my food. If I'm having people over (say dinner or gaming), after a while I usually just go to my room and let DH entertain because I can't deal with it. If people end up sleeping over (because of drinking or whatnot) I cannot sleep. And then in the morning I'm afraid to leave my room. I want freedom and I won't have that with other people in my house.
First it was just FIL. That would just mean we would have to put a lock on our bedroom door and put all the alcohol in there as he is an alcoholic. We just found out Sunday night that DH's brother is coming too. I do NOT want him in my house. He is an angry abusive a-hole. He has kicked and hit DH's families pets multiple times (threw his chihuahua against a wall once) and I would not feel comfortable leaving him alone in my house with my elderly blind bulldog for fear he would do something. My dog is very temperamental and growls/snaps a lot (due to him not being able to hear/see well) and I don't want BIL to do something stupid. I know my dog and how to handle him and I know his triggers. Other people do not. And BIL - I do not trust him. I do not trust him to not steal our things and sell them as he's done that before.
The other issue is, they will expect to use our car to find jobs. I don't want them to touch my car at all. I do not want them to drive it. The car is in my name and the insurance is in my name. I'm tempted to put a restriction on the insurance to specifically not allow them access to the car. That way if they drive it and something happens, they can be charged by police. Neither FIL or BIL have any education/training or anything. BIL never finished high-school and FIL has only random construction help over the last 40 years. He's 60 as it is. How are either of them going to find work?
BOTH OF THEM HAVE JOBS NOW THAT THEY ARE QUITING!! WTF!! Yes, they aren't the best jobs but it's something. I think part of the reason they are coming up is because DH told them about the baby and they want to be close to us. Ugggg.....
This is giving me serious anxiety and DH just doesn't understand. He is just telling me to deal with it as it's happening. He didn't even ask me if it was ok, he just told his parents it was ok without even telling me first. This is screwing up our entire house set up. The spare room which is my craft room/storage room now will have a guest. We don't have a second bed so that means someone will be sleeping on the couch all the time which means I will have no where to go to relax. DH said we could turn the other spare room into storage/craft/sewing room but I'm like "WTF, that's going to be the babies room" and he was like - oh, I thought we would just put him/her in our room". Umm..yeah...maybe for a few months but after that he/she will need a room.
I'm considering leaving, taking my car and my dog, and renting a basement apartment for a few months or something. It's bothering me that much that I would do that. It would probably mean DH would lose his job as he needs the car to go to/from, but I think I need to take extreme steps here to show him I mean business. This is unacceptable. If they were coming up for vacation, I could probably take time off to get by so I could be home to watch the dog and them so they don't do anything stupid and drive them places so they won't touch my car. But this is for an unknown amount of time and it is just freaking me out to no end.
I know it's more of a vent but any suggestions? I know there are probably irrational hormones talking here to an extent, but my concerns are real about the car and dog and living space.