OT - house guests - Page 3
+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 30 of 30
Like Tree13Likes

Thread: OT - house guests

  1. #21
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,417

    Default

    I've been doing research and I think it's a cultural thing. Yes, not an excuse, but I literally think that they just don't "get" that they are wrong. In their eyes, they are helping and being around family is better than being along.

    Here is the wiki on high context vs low context cultures. (I have a degree in Anthropology so I needed to do this research for peace of mind!)

    High context cultures value the group over the individual. But I'm low context where I value being independent over being in a group. In DH's family's eyes they believe that being there is more beneficial for us right now than not being there. For us to shun them and tell them that we want to be individuals away from their group mentality would be against their usual cultural experience.

    Now...to find a way to reach them using this information...
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~


  2. #22
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,822

    Default

    Interesting. I can see that though from when I visited the East coast. People did seem more community oriented then what I was used to. Heck, even living in Alberta was a cultural shock moving from Ontario.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  3. #23
    Posting Addict
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    In the mitten!
    Posts
    9,503

    Default

    First, i would like to say that i had migraines for YEARS before they gave me meds taht helped, and it was maxalt, and it was AMAZING. and i was a poor pathetic teenager who had to go home sick from school and miss driver's ed class because of those damn things. i havent had any since i had kids, but OMG that stuff was amazing!

    the way your hubby's dad is acting is DYSFUNCTIONAL. they make a crisis where there is none because they dont know HOW to be functional. thats not your problem and they need to get out. i got everyone out of my house except my mother in law's dog, and he's on "a short leash" and i didnt even have to "go hormonal" on anyone... a few of them have seen my hormonal and once was enough i guess!

    can they not see that what is good for THEIR half of the group is VERY BAD for your half of the group? even in a group mentality thats not beneficial! if they were truly focused on the good of the group they would be doing all your chores and helping you out left and right, but thats not whats happening, they are simply being dysfunctional!
    Spacers likes this.
    ~Jenni~
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  4. #24
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,417

    Default

    Well, apparently they "found" a place and are applying to it today. It's a town house about 10 min drive from us.

    Crossing my fingers they get it! It's for December 1 but currently empty so maybe they can move in sooner!! Someone FIL works with is a property manager there part time so hopefully that gives them a good chance!
    MissyJ and mom2robbie like this.
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~


  5. #25
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,822

    Default

    that they get the place and get out of your house. Any idea when they will know if they have it?
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  6. #26
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,115

    Default

    *lurk*
    I'm praying they get it! I have crazy in-laws too (as well as crazy family) and feel your pain.





  7. #27
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,417

    Default

    I'm hoping if they get the application in today that they should hear in a few days!
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~


  8. #28
    Mega Poster raingirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    3,417

    Default

    Well, they found a place that was different but from the same landlord. They found out they got it last night but then found out last minute that they needed to put down first and last right away (they only had last saved up and were only thinking they needed first for Dec 1). It was a stressful evening having to ask to borrow from my sister (she had already offered before to lend) but it's done now.

    The end is in sight!!
    MissyJ, mom2robbie and Danifo like this.
    Rachael & Rob 08/10/08
    Destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice.
    6 years, 3 REs, 2 surgeries, 5 IUIs, success on the 5th try!
    Baby Girl Rowan ~ Dec 10, 2013 ~


  9. #29
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,822

    Default



    I think you get the idea. So glad you will at least have a few weeks before baby comes to get organized and spend time with DH.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  10. #30
    Prolific Poster
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    1,950

    Default

    Just reading up on all this now...so happy it seems to be working out! Are they moved out yet? I can completely sympathize with you and I am so sorry you had to go through all that.

    If you don't mind me asking, where is DH and his family from? Hearing you talk about differences in culture got my attention cause I am going through something similar. My DH is from Africa and our cultural differences are vast, especially when concerning his family. Its pretty bad. I am dealing with similar stress in the sense that my DH's brother is wanting to come visit the week I am due! I can't believe it. It couldn't be worse timing. Granted, he isn't living with us and it would be a visit...not him permanently with us like your in laws were, but its still awful. I can't fathom the idea of hosting anyone...not anyone in my family or his family the last week of my pregnancy and I usually go a week early so chances of baby coming when he is here are very high...and that is what we are facing. And the worst thing is that DH doesn't get it. Anyway, I may start my own thread concerning this cause I have been keeping my stress and frustrations in this whole time and need to vent about it and get some support...was mainly curious about your DH's culture as I am dealing with something similar when it comes to family it sounds like.
    ~Kimia
    Married to my sweet DH Olivier on 06/27/03

    Our precious kids...

    Jordan 06/04/04
    Jasmine 05/05/07
    Jaeda 09/30/09
    Jacob 08/17/12
    Expecting our unplanned surprise - baby #5 - due on January 10, 2014


+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions