speaking of old dogs...

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870
speaking of old dogs...

my MIL moved in with us in march. i havent SEEN the woman in 4years before that, and i ask her to contribute $80 a month towards utilities. she has a downstairs bedroom right now. When she came, she told us it was so that she could help us out with the kids. And she brought her ancient doggy with her. ok, so he's like 8, but he's sick.

the dog has some sort of skin irritiation disorder, that the vet in tennessee.... 2 yrs ago... said WASNT mange. Well, IDK what it is, but the dog is constantly scratching himself or biting himself raw, has tons of missing hair patches and is pretty nasty looking in general. oh, and then he lays his pus dripping bloody raw self all over my carpet and couches.

oh, and helping with the kids? she leaves at 8 am and comes back at 11 pm, she's never home so she figures she doesnt have to help around the house. once every other week or so DH gets her to babysit while he goes to do something, usually fire department drills, and she usually cleans up that night. she doesnt even wipe up the bathroom floor after her shower.

because she's gone, i feed her dog twice a day and let him out.

and i want the downstairs room within a month or so... going down the stairs to pee is getting old, and i've fallen down them once already.

suggestions on how to ask her to leave now? she works... 4 hr shifts... a few days a week... makes a little more than minimum wage... but claims she doesnt have enough money to pay up front to get car insurance. she asked if she could get on my policy. if she asks again the answer will be. "i already take care of both of your sons since you stopped being able to do that 10 years ago, i'm sorry, but if you have bad credit thats a personal problem and i cannot risk my credit and insurance premiums on you right now. you are going to have to get your own insurance"

when she came she told us it was just for a couple months. yeah... so far its been 5 months..... if i get much more pregnant, i'm just going to walk up to her and say "you're a grown up, you have 2 weeks to find a place for yourself and your disgusting dog and get the hell out of my house. i liked you better when you were 4 states away. the fact that you waited until we bought a house and then convinced us to let you live here so that you could freeload off us instead of someone else makes me sick. you made a mistake thinking i was going to let this continue."... and thats if i feel polite.

think she'd run away if i told her i want the downstairs bedroom? she hates my staircase and won't go upstairs unless she HAS to. like, won't go get Ellie pj's or anything.

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

Nobody has to reply, this was really just a vent. but i'm going to brainstorm the situation to myself here Smile


When you came to stay with us, you told us flat out that you planned on having your own place by mothers day so troy coudl come visit and see mackinaw island with you and then stay. I don't know what your plans with troy are, and they are none of my business, but you still need to find your own place.

We havent even lived in this house a year yet, and you have been here for most of it. we did not buy it with you in mind and we only have enough space for ourselves and the family we have and will be adding to. We have a lot of plans for renovations and we need our spare bedroom back soon so that we can continue with those plans to fix some problems upstairs, also because its just not safe for me to be going up and down the stairs in the dark anymore.

I knew you were bringing a dog, and when we saw Harley's issues you lead me to believe that it was a new temporary issue that you were trying to resolve. in 5 months you have not attempted to get him medical care and you havent even continued to give him regular baths. I'm not comfortable with the condition of his health and you neglecting him. if you insist that you need to find a place that you can have him, the least you could do is be home at regular times to feed him and let him out instead of me doing it for you. You also ignored my advice on food allergies, decided to stop treating him for possible mange, even though both of those things were helping him itch less. i should not have to clean up his hair, or deal with him laying on my furniture when he has scratched himself bloody. i will not tolerate whatever he has transferring to my dog.

i understand that you onlly work part time, but you are a grown up and fully able to get a second job or a better one with more hours, in order to pay for the things you need.

When Ellie goes backto school around the middle of september i would like to move my bed downstairs, you have until then, 6 weeks, to find a place. I'm sorry that you are having trouble coming up with a deposit for your car insurance, but i'm not comfortable adding you to our policy. Bad credit is a personal problem and the only solution is to keep working and keep paying your bills on time to build credit. i wish you the best of luck.

Joined: 05/22/13
Posts: 349

sounds well reasoned, ample time is given and it is unemotional (good thing)... I would let your husband look at it as he knows his mother best and will know how she "reads it" or "hears it" if that makes sense. If you plan on talking to her directly I suggest having your hubby there so she knows you are on the same page and she can't play you against each other...

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

*hugs* I hear ya. I'm worried that DH's parents will stay longer than welcome and they just got here. I know they are moving 1600KM to here because there's no work there and they will have to save up enough for first and last months rent, which could take a while. I just hope they save well and are out by October 1. Beyond that is getting too close to my EDD and they are taking up our two spare rooms which I will need to prep for baby.

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

oh, i dont think its possible to play us against each other, not if he wants to live to see another sunrise, the man will NEVER take her side.

she kinda left to go live with her boyfriend when he was 16. perfecty fine leaving behind her kids to do it too. When we discussed her moving in in the first place he told me "i think its because i miss her and i was always a mama's boy, not because i really think this is a good idea." and we talked about the things she could possible screw up using our address etc, and he's on the same page as me. if i kick her out, he will back me up. her dog annoys him as well, and he told me today that most of the fire dept is on vacation this week so if there are any calls (this being his only job right now, volunteer firefighter) that he HAS to show up because anyone else is at least 30 minutes away, and the 4 guys still in town might be on the other side of the township or at work and take longer to respond... anyway... while i'm at work his mom has to come home to watch our kids while he goes on fire calls and he said he knew she was going to be ticked about it. and he's mad that she's ticked because she came "to help us with the kids" and he hates how her idea of putting them to bed is letting them fall asleep in front of the TV instead of sitting with them in their rooms and singing lullabys and such.

right now all communications go through DH anyway, if i give this to her or talk to her..... DH of course, will be RIGHT THERE backing me up.