please allow me...to vent a bit!!!

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Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 38
please allow me...to vent a bit!!!

all right, nothing major and there are bigger things happening in this world but....

my mil is driving me nuts by always giving me input into how to do things with the boys. not directly, sometimes in a rundabout way (which is worse)...as if eric and patrick were her kids. they are mine! and i think that it bothers me the most is because she is not an involved grandparent whatsoever. she lives 6 hours aways but only sees the boys 2-3 times a year for 2-3 days. when she is here, or we are there, she does not talk to them, or if she does, she talks to them at a 12-months old level, does not read to them, does not do anything basically. my parents, who live in europe, are a LOT more involved, despite the distance.

she has issues with the fact that we are raising the boys bilingually and that there is a strong emphasis right now on hungarian. why? because i am stay-at-home and they are with me all day long. i talk A LOT, like most of you, ladies, and yes, their hungarian is amazing, in terms of their speech...their english, is a lot less strong, maybe at a typical american 26-28 month old boy (2-3 word sentences). she does not realize the fact that the boys understand EVERYTHING in english and they are doing great, provided that they are learning two languages at the same time. she hates this and does not see the value of it. and she does not realize that once they start preschool this september, their english is going to skyroket.

she hates the fact that i tend to dress the boys the same. i know that many people have different thoughts on dressing twins and i can see both sides of the story. however, at this point in time, i choose to dress them the same, or very very similarly. i like that and it's easier for me. their shoes are different and yes, sometimes the color of the shirt is different...or not! she thinks that this interferes with their identities and individualism. i disagree, i know these boys very well! she is not a twin, only is a grandparent to another set of twins but they are boy/girl and so there is no way to dress them the same! my boys are very very different in personality. very. and they could not care less about clothes at this point. i dress them, they don't choose..or i will let the first little guy choose which color shirt he wants when he is being dressed first.

and i probably will not dress them the same forever, not at all. just right now, when they are little, i like it. kindergarden and up? probably not.

today, she told me that i should get two different backpacks for preschool..and it all started to piss me off.

again, it bothers me because she is not involved with anything, does not spend time with them and when she does, she does not teach them anything. just the other day i had to ask her to tell them that "playdoh" is playdoh in english as the boys did not know that word in english yet so they kept saying it to her in hungarian (survivial skill). well, duh!!!! if you are worried about their english, then teach them and talk to them! (ps: i do not speak a word to them in english because we are doing one-parent-one-language very strictly since birth).

i am done venting! not the biggest problem in the world, really, but still it peeves me...

thanks, girls, i am done..for now!

Joined: 11/12/09
Posts: 19

Ah...my MIL does this too Smile

I have become an expert at the phrase "We'll consider it" and then I change the subject. I've found that my reasons for doing what I do don't work with her and that I can distract her fairly easily. If she gets really persistent on a subject, DH gets to deal with her Smile

DD should be nighttime potty trained by now. You should get on that. "We'll consider it so how the's weather in Virginia?"

DS is really skinny. You should give him pediasure and ice cream to fatten him up. "We'll consider it and you're looking very skinny yourself these days. Way to go"

Etc Lol

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 38

hahaha, i love the last one! as if you can fatten a kid up! trust me, we would have done that given that the boys are just 24lb...can't make them eat more if they do not want to.....:) Smile

MrsRiggert's picture
Joined: 11/21/07
Posts: 2195

My MOM is like that but in a bad way! She likes to do things the way she wants whenever the kids are with her or she's around. 24 ounces of juice a day because "that's what they want" (and we're talking the full of sugar with 1% real juice stuff) why is that a problem??

When I was going to pick them up after cheer camp mom called while I was driving to let me know that they were going to light the fire pit and let the kids roast hot dogs and marshmellows. I simply said "mom I don't think that's very safe at their ages" her response was "You know we did raise two kids, we know what we're doing" Ummmm...are you sure about that one???

zobi's picture
Joined: 12/24/07
Posts: 607

Arrgggghhh MIL's or in your case Megan Mums LOL....

I think its great that you have been able to offer your boys two languages, thats AMAZING!!! How could anyone dis that...As you said they will pick up on te english when they need too...

My MIL is always pushing me about giving the boys dairy "because you know both my boys had bad (NOT) milk allergies and Liam and Charlie seem the same as them" My boys dont have milk allergies...AND this comes from the woman who was feeding icecream to my 3mnth old baby!
"I dont want to inferfere, but......" Well dont interfere then!
"I hope you dont mind me saying this, BUT....." Too bad if I did mind cos you are going to say it anyway arent you!
Then when it comes to safety......Im a stickler for carseats being in properly!...Im forever refitting the carseats in her car...."Oh this whole carseat business is rediculous....My kids were just on the back seat in their basinette and they were fine and they just had a harness attatched to the seat belt, its all overkill if you ask me" Well they are my kids and I say how they will be belted into a car...And BACK in your day the cars didnt go as fast etc as they do now...AND they have proof that this is better for them....SAFTEY FIRST...

OHHHH and Megan the whole "I have raised kids myself" comment, do you know how many times we have heard that?????.....I think as our parents get older they forget ALOT!!!!!....

The big things that seem to be bought up time and time again, Ive now got Andy to deal with...Im over hearing about it....I just walk away now and nod to SO that hes to step in...

Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 38

crazy crazy!!!

so do your kiddos not like milk and she thinks that they should drink more milk?

let's just remember not to be like this when we are mother-in-laws one day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MrsRiggert's picture
Joined: 11/21/07
Posts: 2195

"captiva" wrote:

let's just remember not to be like this when we are mother-in-laws one day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL $100,000,000 says we are though!!! (Ok maybe not AS bad)