Trying to decide where to draw the line for Joshua and Maya's Birthday, we both have big extended families.
We do separate parties. One for friends in STL, and one for family in Columbia. The one in Columbia has gotten much smaller and now only includes immediate family. I send out more invitations than I would like to E's party in STL...I include all of his classmates, just so I don't hurt any one's feelings. My hope is that not all of them will show up, but I ask the parents to stay so I have extra help if needed.
When we were in UT, we invited X's family (sister, bil, nieces, parents). His parents were the only ones to ever come. Then my mom would fly in for it. We also invited my closest friends.
Now that we are in KS, the extended family is a lot bigger. We are debating on inviting all of DF's local family (mom, sister, brother and their families) or just doing something with our five kids and the grandmas. Looks like it will probably be everyone though.
Neither her dad or I have a lot of extended family here so we invite the ones that we have, a few adult friends and about 10 kids (mix of friends and family). Debating about which of her school friends to invite this year.
We invite both of our parents and siblings (the kids' grandparents and aunts/uncles), their god parents, and all their daycare friends.
It's kind of weird for us. We invite immediate family plus my great aunt on my mom's side and DH's aunt, uncle, cousins on his mothers side, but we don't invite the extended family on either of our fathers side because the families are just too big!
We will do two parties. One with DH's family and one with my family. Both parties are 20+ people, which is a very common size of our numerous family get togethers we go to.
Once he is in preschool next year we will do a third party and invite his whole class to a local pizza place or community center. But with his birthday in summer...not sure how the attendance will be?