Feeling depressed, someone cheer me up?

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SaraMeow's picture
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Feeling depressed, someone cheer me up?

This is sooo long, sorry!
I am sorry to be such a whiny butt on here all the time, but I don't know where else to go!

My feelings are so hurt right now! I am sure I am just being pregnant overemotional... but I am tired and I feel huge and unattractive and I am not getting enough sleep and work is driving me CRAZY!

Anyway... I know that I am not technically a mom yet, but as much as my every single thought goes into this little guy I feel like a mom.
Alex and I had our baby party yesterday and it was great, and he did his part in preparing for it... he helped me go get the beer and water, he mowed the lawn, he picked up the tables and chairs we had to rent and is taking them back and he picked up the cake and the ice. He also chopped all the onions and such for the nachos. I am very thankful he did his half in that!

Anyway... after the party he wanted to go to the bar. I really didn't want him to. He goes all the time and I just don't think he needs to be going to that crummy bar all the time.... I think more than once a week is ridiculous. He told me he would be home by midnight and I said I would like him home by 11. Midnight came and went and I texted him and he texted back he was on his way. He didn't get home until after 2 and ignored a text and phone call I made to him between the previous text.

I had to work today and he was meeting his mom and brother to celebrate mother's day at her house at 5, I didn't get off until 6. I know I shouldn't expect anything, but come one... a card, something.... I don't know. I came home to an empty house... had to put the dishes away and eat by myself (my mommy is busy today). It made me cry... I felt so sad and alone. Anyway... he texted me and said "Happy Mommy Day" and that he was helping his mom with her garden and would be home later. Then around 9 that he had gotten a call from our renter that the power company had said we needed to cut down a tree that was blocking power lines and he had to go check it out... really.. he had to go do that RIGHT now?( I should mention our rental home is right by his bar) He said he would be home after.... He then texted me that he was going to play pool "for a bit" with Chris (our renter).
Goodness knows how long he will be gone. I hate this soooo much... and like I said, I know I am not "technically" a mommy, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY would have appreciated some recognition and special attention today.... not to be home alone all night wondering when he will get home. It's now ten and I am already sooo incredibly tired, but just feel so frustrated I don't know how I will sleep peacefully, especially since I don't know if he will be home in an hour or 5. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.... and now I am crying again. I hate feeling this way, I don't want it rubbing off on Roman, but I just can't get over it right now.

isuche02's picture
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:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

I can relate in so many ways. It is very hard. I am sorry you are upset. I hope you are able to feel better soon. Tons of hugs....

akpufa's picture
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:bighug:

Sorry you are having a stressful time with your DH. I'd have a hard time if my DH went out without me constantly. *hugs*

robyn.pregnant's picture
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I'm sorry Sad Maybe, you should sit down and tell him how you feel? It might help.

MrsHooah2U's picture
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My "first" mother's day, I was pregnant with DS (3 months or so..). DH did NOTHING. When he called his mom that day to tell HER happy mother's day, she asked him "So, what are you doing for Pam this year? It's her first mother's day!" and he goes "Oh.. yeah.. well I'm going to clean the kitchen for her.." guess who didn't TOUCH a dish that day, and YES I still remember! haha! I was equally as upset. I felt like a mom, whether he thought I was or not and so it hurt my feelings that he didn't do anything for me.. and then went and told people he was going to haha.

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

I totally know where you're coming from. This is the first mother's day DH and I actually got to spend together so he owed me Wink

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Sorry you're going through such a tough time. I assume you've tried telling him how much it bothers you? I have to say, if it was me I would be calling the bar if he didn't answer his phone or just showing up there and telling him he needs to come home. It will probably cause a fight, but maybe then he'd see how important it is to you.

belzy's picture
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:bigarmhug: Im sorry you have to deal with this, it woud upset me to!

mommys's picture
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Grrr, it annoys me when your DH just ignores your calls and texts. I remember him doing that to you before.

As for Mother's Day, I really think most men don't get it. I can just picture you eating dinner alone and it makes me sad, but I doubt he even considered it.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find a way to treat yourself this week. Tell him you bought yourself a pedicure for Mother's Day! Wink

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When I am getting very upset at my DH I usually realize that I have not actually told him how much something upsets me. I may have hinted, beat around the bush, and made little comments expecting him to get the point, but that doesn't always work. Have you actually told him how much it hurts that he acts this way? Being pregnant is super hard in the first place and the emotions can really get the best of us all. I hope you have a wonderful day today. And I agree with Stephanie, go out and get something special for yourself. You are a mommy and you deserve it.

Lots of hugs!!!:bighug:

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Sorry he's not giving you a good first Mothers' Day! I made sure to make it clear to DH that I thought the day should be acknowledged... some people just can't be expected to remember on their own! (I sent his mom a card on his behalf--for the ump-teenth year in a row because it just wouldn't cross his mind)

I agree...an honest talk might help the situation. It's hard to remember this or see it this way, but "they" say that 99% of the people in your life intentionally hurt you less than 1% of the time--(and hopefully your DH would fall in that 99%)--so maybe he just doesn't realize how his actions are affecting your emotions. It's just as easy for him to place the blame on pregnancy hormones rather than stepping back and seeing what he might be doing to upset you.

rebgrace's picture
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:bigarmhug:
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your DH! I think for a lot of men, it isn't REAL until after the baby is born, KWIM?? We all feel like moms, and understand that there is a baby coming, but I don't think they are really Dads until it is in their arms!

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Just wanted to offer :bighug::bighug::bighug: