2nd u/s...and vent.

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celticbandgeek's picture
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2nd u/s...and vent.

No pic today....the Dr. forgot to give me one. Sad Not that much to see really...the gestational sac was considerably larger. The u/s dr believes she was seeing a yolk sac, but that is still very small.

HCG up to 1337, Progesterone at 20.

What's the vent? I'm so tired of my RE and my nurse coordinator!!!! I get nothing positive from them. Every report sounds pessimistic, like they are just waiting for the m/c to happen and keep getting surprised when I show progress. Today I got (in the "regretful" tone of voice) "Well, they *thought* they saw a yolk sac this morning, but it is so small. We really can't do anything about it at this point. All we can do is take another look in a week and see if maybe we see a heartbeat." (Which, from her tone of voice, they clearly once again don't expect to see.) Really?!? It really isn't so much what she said, it was the tone she said it with.

Every one of these tests has looked for results according to their "calendar" of expectations. So, at every test right from the start I'm basically 2-3 days behind. It has now been this way for 2 weeks...to me, it certainly looks like there was some kind of small delay in there, whether that was a late implantation or what. Maybe I'm completely out of touch with reality, but to me it seems that things are right on track, if you assume I'm actually about 3 days "less pg" than the calendar says. I TOTALLY understand them being cautious and not wanting to get a person's hopes up. At the same time, my goal through this is to not be afraid of what comes next, no matter what it is...and I certainly know a good outcome is by no means guaranteed. It just totally pi$$es me off that they seem intent on making me fearful instead of optimistic.

OK...end of vent. I think the hormones are finally starting to mess with my moods!

megeyre's picture
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Venting is healthy.. good for you! Smile And congrats on your BFP after your TTC journey. I was semi-stalking you on the Infertility board! I still haven't posted there.. I need to do that.

Anyway, I can understand where you are coming from but on the opposite end of the spectrum. We are in our second treatment cycle with an RE and they are great but almost too positive. At our consultation the nurse said, "Hopefully you are pregnant right now and we won't even need to begin the treatment cycles! Your so young and healthy blah, blah." Then at the beginning of cycle one, "All of your tests came back great so you have a great chance of getting pregnant this cycle. We couldn't ask for more perfect results." Recently, at the beginning of our second cycle "This will be your month!" I really appreciate the positive thoughts but please don't go overboard getting my hopes up- I already read into every symptom during the 2ww and every month when I get AF I'm crushed. Your positive encouragement isn't really making it easier to cope! Can't people just be neutral... Give us the basic stuff we need to know. Period.

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I'm sorry they are being so pessimistic. Vent away! It's always nice to hear some encouragement instead of negativity. The fact that they saw progress from your previous u/s is a good sign. Hoping you see a little heartbeat next time!

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That is frustrating. Well, you'll just have to prove them wrong. I hope you see a heartbeat next time, and if you do hopefully they will cheer up!

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I am sorry Jean Sad I hate when Dr.'s are that way, why rain on someone's parade??? Wahoo for your little beans progress though. Smile I can't wait to see you prove those nay sayers wrong Wink

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Well, it seems like your numbers keep increasing nicely! And growth visible on the US is also a good sign. Will keep fingers crossed for you.

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You know what you need to ask them to be a little more professional ! You are NOT doing them a service they are giving you one ! Put them in their place ! Let them know that a bad reputation can put their business in sambles ! You are trying to create a life after having fertility issues the least they can freakin do it put a darn smile on their faces ! How dare they ! Stick up for your self! If they * have a problem they need to refer you to doctors and nurses with better training in empathy

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Jean,

I just want to say that the u/s's are not exact sciences. According to her measures, you're measuring 3 days behind, but she's measuring something that's the size of a pumpkin seed. At 5+weeks, you shouldn't be able to see more than a yolk sac, if you can even see that. I had an u/s at 5w3d and we couldn't see anything. A week later, I had a perfectly healthy little embryo with a beating heart. I have always measured at least 2 days behind and every time I have been told that it's within the standard deviation and things look good.
It's not a perfect science at all, so please don't rest your hopes on their measurements. It sounds to me like everything is going really well for you, and you are right on track. Your hcg and progesterone numbers are great, and you've seen a yolk sac.
Don't let them get you down.

celticbandgeek's picture
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"megeyre" wrote:

Can't people just be neutral... Give us the basic stuff we need to know. Period.

This exactly! I don't want them to sugar coat things, but I don't want pessimism either. Just tell me the facts and let me decide how I want to react to them! I saw you popped in on the IF board...I hope that BFP is coming SOOO soon for you.

"MrsV2B" wrote:

You know what you need to ask them to be a little more professional !

I know I definitely need to do this. I am SO bad with confronting people about things, but for myself I have to get so that I'm not dreading the call from the nurse...not for the news she brings, but for the way I always end up feeling after she delivers it. I suppose it might be a better match for certain personalities, but for me I just like to have the information straight up.

"cannycane76" wrote:

Lurker
Jean,

I just want to say that the u/s's are not exact sciences. According to her measures, you're measuring 3 days behind, but she's measuring something that's the size of a pumpkin seed. At 5+weeks, you shouldn't be able to see more than a yolk sac, if you can even see that. I had an u/s at 5w3d and we couldn't see anything. A week later, I had a perfectly healthy little embryo with a beating heart. I have always measured at least 2 days behind and every time I have been told that it's within the standard deviation and things look good.
It's not a perfect science at all, so please don't rest your hopes on their measurements. It sounds to me like everything is going really well for you, and you are right on track. Your hcg and progesterone numbers are great, and you've seen a yolk sac.
Don't let them get you down.

Thank you so much for this! I'm actually not personally all that worried about where the measurements and numbers are...to me it makes perfect sense that I'm just a little behind. But every measurement to them is just not where they think it should be, and that is obviously not something they consider "normal."

Thanks for all your support ladies! Smile I really try not to vent very often, I was just feeling so frustrated and had to share! Hopefully all will go well, and I'll continue to show progress at the next u/s!

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Please, vent away if you need to! That's what we are here for:). I'm sorry that they are being so negative. I understand about not wanting to be confrontational but if it is stressing you than I would say something. You deserve to have people caring for you and your little bean that make you feel good and comfortable. I've had drs that made me feel uncomfortable and it's not fun. Having a dr you like makes a big difference! You are showing great progress and seem to be on track and as someone else said, its not an exact science. I hope you get to see a beautiful heart beat at your next appointment! Good luck!

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I think sometimes a few days can really make a difference at this stage. My mother never got a pos test with me (even at the DR) and they couldnt find a heart beat when they were supposed to. They told her she miscarried and scheduled her for a D&C the next week. Before they did the D&C they did a quick ultrasound 'just to make sure', and there was my heart beating away! After learning more about conception, I truly believe that I must have implanted late. So dont let them get you down, just keep telling them they are wrong:)

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As you know, I think that the way your RE and nurse have treated you is unacceptable as far as customer service goes. At the very least they could be cautiously optimistic and give you the news (Things seems to be growing, we'll check you again next week to see hopeful progress). I fully believe you should write a letter to the RE's office when your 'ordeal' with them is over and complain.

:bigarmhug:

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Hopefully I'll prove them wrong on Friday, but wrong (which they certainly still could be) or right, they need to work on their delivery. Blum 3

Thanks again for the support. I'm just going to think positive until Friday, and hope to see that heartbeat. Smile

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Oh Jean I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds to me like your doc is a bit of an @ss. Have you been going to this office for a long time? If not I would make a switch. If they're not going to be supportive of you and your feelings then they're not worth your time. Remember, they work FOR YOU. I don't care if this is your first pregnancy or your 10th, they need to treat you with respect, regardless of your past history, and treat this pregnancy as there's nothing wrong until they find something wrong.

celticbandgeek's picture
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"Starryblue702" wrote:

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Oh Jean I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds to me like your doc is a bit of an @ss. Have you been going to this office for a long time? If not I would make a switch. If they're not going to be supportive of you and your feelings then they're not worth your time. Remember, they work FOR YOU. I don't care if this is your first pregnancy or your 10th, they need to treat you with respect, regardless of your past history, and treat this pregnancy as there's nothing wrong until they find something wrong.

Thanks Krystal! You hit the nail right on the head with the last sentence...it helped me clarify exactly what it is about the whole thing that bothers me. It isn't that the nurse hasn't been "nice" or polite on the phone (despite the less than enthusiastic tone of voice.) It is the fact that I feel like, in their view, I'm not REALLY pregnant until it is proven this is going to be sticky. I agree with you - they should assume it is sticky unless proven otherwise! Even the way the original call for my 1st beta was worded...I didn't get "Congratulations, you're pregnant." I got, "you did get a positive test today. But, the number was only ...". I guess for a lot of people it wouldn't bother them...I know I just tend to be super sensitive.

I'm hoping that in a few weeks I won't have to deal with this RE again (unless DH and I decide to try for a 2nd, and I'm not sure how likely that will be.) I do think that if this turns out to not be sticky, I may ask to transfer to another dr (who hopefully works with a different nurse) within this practice. It is a large and really well respected practice in this area, and I know other people, including someone I work with, who just haven't been able to say enough good things about their experiences. But, there are other practices to choose from, so DH and I will just have to talk about things from here, depending on what happens.

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I just wanted to chime in and say... with pg #2 for me I was 2 weeks behind what they thought the measurements should be and I know when we had sex cuz it was only 1 time that month. But I was 2 weeks behind what their charts say I should be the whole time and My son is in my siggie and he's perfectly healthy! Don't listen to them. You are growing a person inside of you and each person in the world is so different and because of that each pregnancy is too. Keep your hopes up girl youre doing great!