body image issues

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nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508
body image issues

I was really happy (and proud of myself) that I got all of my winter maternity clothes out and washed them and made space in my dresser/closet for them. Then I tried them on tonight. Of course you all know the belly is biggest at night. They were so comfortable! Especially the pants. BUT when I put the tops on, they make me look pregnant. I know I am pregnant and I am excited to be pregnant, but I am just a bit horrified to look at myself in the mirror and see that I actually look pregnant. So my choice for work wear this week is to do the bulky sweater look and wear the Bella band (and be semi-uncomfortable) but look kind of chubby, or wear the fitted maternity wear and show my bump with pride and admit I look way more pregnant than I thought in my head. Oh this is ridiculous I know, but I tried to tell DH and he just gave me a blank stare so I wanted to talk to ladies who might be going through the same thing. Are you dealing with this?

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

I totally know how you feel! Those maternity clothes make you look so much more preggers. It is all in the cut.

Having said that, we are still trying to hide this pregnancy so I am wearing my regular clothes, and I am starting to get really offended that people dont guess that I am pregnant. Just how much weight do they think I have gained????? I cant wait to get into maternity clothes and really 'look' pregnant.

So, I think you should wear your maternity clothes and show your belly proudly! Do it for me! lol.

nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508

Okay Kyla. I will wear a maternity outfit tomorrow, but the top is a bit baggy. I am not quite ready for those fitted ones yet. Good luck keeping it a secret, you are 2 days ahead of me and several people at work have asked me if I am pregnant and others have been eyeing my belly (that's probably what people are thinking about you and are afraid to ask). I work with many foreign people and it's not the Americans who asked me if I was pregnant. How much longer are you keeping your secret?

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

I am glad you posted this, because I have been dealing with this too (see my post from yesterday). And then today, I was complaining to my MIL about people making hurtful comments about my size, and she actually said "Well, do twins run in your family?" Really?!? Sad :(

Anyway, yes, I agree. I had to give up the Bella Band this past week at 12 weeks, because it was working fine but just too uncomfortable where the pre-preg waistband pushed into my uterus. So, I'm in maternity pants which are fine, but my maternity tops are too big (was a bigger size last pregnancy) and just make me look gigantic.

So I decided my self-image is more important than being cheap at this point, so I'm going to go shopping for maternity shirts in the next few days. I figure I will need internal self-confidence to be able to deal with people's stupid comments, and I can only do that in clothes that fit. For reals, the number of comments I got last time sent me into a body-image spiral that caused problems for me postpartum, even after getting back down to pre-preg weight.

So, if I were you, I'd go with maternity clothes and accept that you look pregnant, perhaps more than you think you should. Better to look pregnant than fat, is my opinion.

Also, this is our 2nd kid, so we're going to start showing sooner. I was talking to some of our May 08 moms about this, and one said that with her first, she didn't wear maternity until 25 weeks, but with her second she was in them by 10 weeks! So we are definitely going to show sooner!

Oh, and Kyla, ITA that I can't figure out why people don't notice that I have a bump. How many cookies do they think I've been eating? Could I really put on the non-preg equivalent of 10 pounds in just my belly and no one would notice? And since no one gains weight just in their stomach, why do they think I'm just fat?!?!

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

It will be a secret for at least 2-3 more weeks. DH's job better be renewed soon, since that is what we are waiting for. Hopefully by mid February. Next week we are going away to visit family though, so we will have a whole week where I dont have to pretend:)

As I said, I am still wearing regular, but mostly because I had lost alot of weight before baby and hadnt replaced my pants yet. They are fitting lower than normal though, and my tops are sitting higher, so there is a growing gap between my pants and my shirt. The only maternity item I am wearing is a really long, comfy tank top that goes down over the top of my pants and covers the gap.

I totally think I look pregnant, but I guess not:(

Joined: 01/20/12
Posts: 189

Comfy sounds so nice. I am waiting until we tell people to wear maternity I know once I start wearing them I will definitely look pregnant. For right now I am still comfy in my jeans that are a size larger than my pre-pregnancy ones. Luckily I have jeans in three different sizes from when I was losing the post-preg. weight with my other 2.

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

So much for going shopping for shirts that make me look cute and not huge. It's the end of the season so there's just nothing out there right now. I did get one shirt and a dress so that's nice. And I figured out what fits and what doesn't from my old wardrobe, so at least I know now what I can wear.

Joined: 01/20/12
Posts: 189

You are one step ahead of me Smile

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

"SunDevil28" wrote:

So much for going shopping for shirts that make me look cute and not huge. It's the end of the season so there's just nothing out there right now. I did get one shirt and a dress so that's nice. And I figured out what fits and what doesn't from my old wardrobe, so at least I know now what I can wear.

We still have 4 months of winter here, so I am hoping to hit those 'end of season' sales next week for some warm stuff. By the time summer comes around, I will probably be contenting myself with 2 shirts and a pair of jeans Smile Our summer is just SO short!

nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508

Andi, did you check out online sales at Old Navy/Gap or Ann Taylor Maternity? I wonder if they have anything good if you just order a size smaller than your current stuff?

I thought my outfit was kind of non-descript but a few ladies at work commented on the transition to maternity clothes. Oh well, I certainly was much more comfortable today. Last pregnancy I think I started wearing maternity clothes just after Christmas, so that would have been around 20 weeks. This time I made it to 14.5 weeks. Oh well. I felt lots of belly stretching/uterus stretching today so that's good. And my appetite is really up today too. My next dr appt is Feb 17 but I am sure I will have put on some pounds by then.

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

Aw, I bet you looked really cute today!

Thanks for the ideas, I will try Kohl's and Old Navy next week I think. I am sure I have gained some weight too. Have you made it off the nausea meds yet? I am glad you are feeling better enough to eat!

The ticket taker at the movies asked how old my son would be when the baby was born, so I think it's safe to say I look preggo. Smile

nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508

I am off the anti-nausea meds. I think I stopped around 13 weeks (because I forgot to take them at night again) and the next day I felt fine.

I meant you could try online shopping at those stores. That way you might get some deals. I also had luck getting a few lots of clothes from sellers on Ebay for reasonable prices. Good luck! I bet you look cute too! What movie did you take your DS to see? We still haven't taken DD to the movie theater, but I was thinking about Beauty and the Beast, although not in 3D, I think that might freak her out. What do you think?

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

Are you thinking the Disney Beauty and the Beast, or is there some new one I dont know about? I ask, because the Disney one freaks my DD out! She is pretty wimpy about movies and wont watch any of the Disney princess ones though, and she is almost 5. It is the beginning of that one though, and the one time she managed to get through that to the singing and the dancing, the part where the father met the Beast absolutely freaked her out! But like I said, she is a wimpy movie watcher Smile

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

Yes, it was Disney's Beauty and the Beast 3D. I didn't think the 3D was too "in your face", it just gave the picture dimension, nothing came out at you or looked like it was flying out at you. Just turned the picture into a foreground and a background - it was really pretty. I would probably rather take him to regular but he really does enjoy the 3D glasses. Smile We went to see Lion King 3D too and it was great. He has seen both movies before, so maybe he would have been nervous about the 3D otherwise, but it was great! We had a lovely date! They're doing Nemo 3D in the fall. Smile

MommyQCT's picture
Joined: 06/12/08
Posts: 387

I say go with Materinity clothes - for ME..I LOVE BEING PREGNANT! Personally i would much rather people think I am expeceting than just getting fat. I still have like 1-2 pairs of regualr jeans that fit - but i needto wear them with huge bulku shirts and i look HUGE - then i put on materinty pants and a materinty top and i loo kvery pregnant - I still don't fit into my materinty jeans though so really only have clothes for work - just wear big yoga pants and leggins when I am off.
DH and i booked a last minute trip to FLORIDA in 10 days! Yay but now i just realized i only have 2 pairs on maternity shorts - and maybe one suite I can squeeze into - need to check my large size tank tops to see if anything will fit... we can;t afford to buy new clothes right now (i just got laid off and we were forutnate enough to have this trip fully paid for)... but our only plans are relaxing pool side in DH'sa parents backyard so I guess I can get away with what little i have and just do wash evey other day... same for DS - don;t have any summer clothes in his current size - need to see what he can squuez into from last summer...

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

I cannot wait to look undeniably pregnant. If I wear a tight shirt, a person would have to be really out to lunch not to notice, but like pp said, I cannot quite bring myself to wear fitted maternity shirts yet. Could be the giant boobs make me self-conscious. But when I wear baggier clothes, I feel like I just look fat and I would rather people KNOW that I am pregnant and not think this is just me. It bothers me that people don't ask also, but I can tell most of them are wondering but just not sure if they should ask. I have had that thought before too when I've seen someone who I am pretty sure is pregnant...what if I ask and she isn't pregnant?! How horrible would that be? I just try to put myself in their shoes, and I am just flat out telling people now, because I feel to self-conscious if I wait for them to ask. I NEEED to go shopping for maternity shirts though. I'm down to about 4 shirts that I can wear.