Childbirth

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Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131
Childbirth

So, the other morning I woke up worrying about all the first time moms who are not reading up on childbirth or thinking they need to be educated about it. It isn't their fault, no one tells us! So, I am going to get on my soapbox here as a BTDT mom and tell you! I realized that I am not so much a natural birth advocate as an EDUCATED birth advocate. I'm choosing a natural birth with a midwife not because I want to be superwoman or because I have some kind of strange love of pain, but because after all of my research I have decided it is the healthiest and safest option for me and my baby. Other people may do their own research and come to different conclusions, but I REALLY believe that women need to be educated about their own births and not just trust that the doctors know everything. And also, we have to go through this, it happens to our bodies, and it is not like an illness where you just go to the hospital, the doctors know what to do, and they "fix" it without any help from you. Birth is a process, and I think it is a sacred one, and the experience of the mother and baby during birth is important, whether the majority of doctors think that or not. It is up to us as women to be in charge of OUR birth experiences. Whatever kind of birth you choose, YOU deliver the baby, not the doctor, and it is up to you to prepare yourself for it. It can be one of the most amazing and best experiences of your life, but if you go into it unprepared, it can be shocking and scary too. So, this article has been going around, and I think it is really good and says everything better than I can say it. Worth checking out. I'm sorry to be lecture-y, I just want you all to have really wonderful birth experiences!

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/03/the-most-scientific-birth-is-often-the-least-technological-birth/254420/1/

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

I'm probably weird, but I love giving birth Biggrin I can't wait!! Its such a beautiful time and experience. Thanks for sharing the link!

How many first time moms do we have on this board anyways?

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

Sorry, Double post

carissar's picture
Joined: 06/22/07
Posts: 212

TOTALLY AGREE!! I too actually love the whole birthing experience and after both of my children were born one of my first thoughts was, " I want to do that again!" I don't think there is a more exciting time that birth and it can be such a wonderful fufilling time. I think that all women should educate themselves on their options so that they know what is best for them, what works for one may not work for another, but don't limit yourself by not knowing what type of experience you are looking for and what your options are, and remember that not all Dr.'s are going to share every option, so sometimes it is up to us as the patient to know what is out there.

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

I would like to add a few thoughts regarding c-sections.

I didn't want a c-section, mostly because I'm a singer and thought I needed my abs intact. Also the idea just scared me, and so I ignored everything about c-sections. I am pretty sure I went to the bathroom during that part of birthing class, lol. I just completely dismissed it like "I don't want one, I'm not getting one, so that's that."

But it did become necessary, and can be medically necessary no matter what kind of birth you plan for yourself, even at birthing centers or homebirths with midwives. I was in total panic when I needed one, and was a little PTSD about it afterwards, which I attribute to the fact that I knew absolutely nothing about it, I wasn't informed at all!

Well, I'll tell you now that I survived and thrived, and so did my baby. I have since done tons of research on both sides of c-sections, both for my own purposes and for my dissertation. I will be scheduling a c-section this time around, so that should tell you that it really isn't the end of the world! I have a happy baby and my body is back to normal. I promise you, if you need a c-section, it will be OK!

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

I have also seen a FB friend become a complete disaster over having a c-section, when IMHO, she should be thankful she did! She was scheduled for a c-section because the baby was full breech, but when they got in there, she had undiagnosed severe vasa previa, and had she gone into labor, the baby would have died with 100% certainty.

I just can't wrap my head around the fact that she spent time being so upset over having a c-section when she wanted a natural birth, when the c-section was the only thing that saved her baby. I really think things need to be kept in perspective here. Smile

And yes, I am the mod of the c-section board, why do you ask? Smile No seriously, if you have any questions or concerns, the board is a little slow, but I have noticed that people check in and respond when they see questions.

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

I've totally ignored everything about c-sections. I'm going to take your advice though and read up.....just in case. Thanks for the tip!

nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508

Maggie, I loved this article! I am going to share it on my FB page. I am one of those pants wearing, omnivores who is a science geek (not a doctor, a research scientist) who chose a midwife and a doula to deliver my first baby and am doing it again this time. Reading this article made me wonder why doulas are not covered by insurance. I was waivering about getting a doula this time, mostly because of the cost, but reading this article (and remembering how useful my doula was during labor) has me thinking I will pay for one again. I was fully dialated and pushed for 2 hours with no medication and I was doing great managing the labor on my own. DD had other plans (she was sunny side up and put her head into the birth canal crooked) and when they told me to lay on my left side to help her ease down (the pushing wasn't working) I couldn't relax at all so I ended up getting an epidural, sleeping for 4 hours, pushing for another 2 hours, sleeping 2 more hours and pushing for another 2 and then she was born. Despite using medication, I felt great about my birth experience (and I had educated myself about all the drugs that were used and felt I made an educated decision). This time I really hope to do it all naturally, but I do know that no matter what, having a healthy baby and healthy mama are priority number one. And Andi, great points about c-sections. It is important to learn about all the birth options, so we can feel like we are making educated decisions that we are happy with. Great post ladies!

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

Andi, that is baffling and sad about your friend who is still beating herself up about not getting her NCB when the c-section really did save her baby's life in that instance! I hope she can find peace with it eventually. If I found out I had vasa previa, trust me, I'd be the first one in line for a c-section. Of course there are good reasons why the technologies we have exist, and there is a place for all of them. I just can't stand that our society makes childbirth out to be so scary that women are so terrified of it they will opt for an elective c-section over having to go through labor (I know most women don't do that, but I did have a friend who swore she was going to have 3 babies all by c-section because she was so scared of labor--after reading a few books she changed her mind though, which is what I mean about being educated--you can't make the best decision for yourself if you don't educate yourself). I think it's possible to read and educate yourself and choose any number of birth options, but it should be an educated decision.

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

I watched my sister go through labor before I had kids. Her doctors and nurses and the whole hospital wee horrible towards her that I swore I'd never have kids. My mother and 2 sisters all had c-sections. Not one of them had a vaginal delivery. Sure they tried (labored with no dialation) only to end up with c-sections anyway....this scared me into thinking I'd need one to that at first I didn't even want to attempt a vaginal delivery. My doctor was convinced I'd need a c-section too just from my family history and gave me the option to have an elective surgery (with my first child!!) I was tempted, but told them I would give laboring a shot....so I did and all 4 of my kids have been born vaginally!! I'm glad I didn't just go for the c-section.
You'll be surprised what you're body can do!!!

augustgirly's picture
Joined: 12/27/05
Posts: 60

Great article, I had both my children naturally, and all my friends and half my family thought I was crazy, but it was the decision I chose to make, I wasen't sure I was strong enough but now when I hear people say that, I always say of course you are, women have been doing it for thousands of years, and I really wanted the experiance of pain and labor and birth all naturally. I loved my births, even though they were extremely painful and I still shutter at the thought of a really bad contraction, I am choosing to do it again, mostly because I do not like hospitals, the way they do things, treat people, keep people, poke people, charge people and refuse to discharge people when wanted.... I also have a recommendation; "Birthing from Within" It's a great great book that every pregnant women should read!!! Good luck ladies!

-Katie

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

"augustgirly" wrote:

Great article, I had both my children naturally, and all my friends and half my family thought I was crazy, but it was the decision I chose to make, I wasen't sure I was strong enough but now when I hear people say that, I always say of course you are, women have been doing it for thousands of years, and I really wanted the experiance of pain and labor and birth all naturally. I loved my births, even though they were extremely painful and I still shutter at the thought of a really bad contraction, I am choosing to do it again, mostly because I do not like hospitals, the way they do things, treat people, keep people, poke people, charge people and refuse to discharge people when wanted.... I also have a recommendation; "Birthing from Within" It's a great great book that every pregnant women should read!!! Good luck ladies!

-Katie

After I had DD#2, they refused to discharge me after 24hrs because they said my daughter had lost too much weight since being born. She was 7lbs 12oz at birth and went down however many ounces (I don't remember what she weighed afterwards, but I know it wasn't under 7lbs.) and hadn't gained any back in the 24 hours. I was trying desperately to breastfeed her and was starting to get the hang of it. I was refusing to give her formula and they wouldn't let me go home though!! So the nurse told me that if I gave her a bottle of formula just before she took her to be weighed, it would add 2oz to her weight and they might let me go home. So I gave in and gave her formula. They weighed her and the doctor reluctantly let me go home (after hours of asking and bugging them to let me go.) They also said that the reason that they didn't want me to go home was because it was Saturday and that if she was to get sick the next day, the office wouldn't be open for me to bring her in because it was sunday.
She was perfectly fine though.........I ended up formula feeding her though, which made me mad. She refused to take the breast after all that Sad

augustgirly's picture
Joined: 12/27/05
Posts: 60

Ugh after I had my daughter at home they (The hospital) Insisted on giving her a full bottle of formula when we got there to "warm her up" Even though I kept saying no, and she didn't want to nurse for like hours and hours, even though you're suppose to do it right away; It made me really mad. And with that pregnancy I tested positive for the group b step so since I had her at home, they wanted to keep her for 36 hours just in case she had it, even though right away a baby will show signs and symptoms and she was totally fine, and our midwife who had come to check on us even checked her out and recommended we be released, but it still took like 6 more hours it was sooo frustrating. We were there 19 hours and were switched to 3 different rooms, and then you should have seen our bill!! 30 dollars per pain killer;.....Ridiculous.