Who is crazy? Me, DH or both?

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MommyQCT's picture
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Who is crazy? Me, DH or both?

Ok - so DH and i rarely fight and last night i blew up at him and said I wanted to kill him and tried to sleep on the couch (which he would not allow since I am pregnant) - this may or may not have been the result of prego hormones... what do you think???

DH and i are lying in bed - discussing how much craziness we have in our lives right now and haven;t been preparing much / thinking about new baby coming and I feel guilty about it.... we are planning his sisters wedding in 10 weeks, and thew shwer and bachelorette party, also I am loosing my job in 3 weeks and perparing for baby and my energy is like zero....
so DH what we have to do to get ready for baby - I say at absolute LEAST we need to:

  • Assemble crib
  • get boxes of baby clothes (sheets, blankets etc...) out of attic / sort / see what we can use and need
  • get car seat/ stroller, bassinet, swing, bouncer ,etc... out of attic - clean be sure all in working order
  • clean out dressers / throw away clothes so make room for baby clothes in an old dresser
  • purchase anything that didn't store well

..there are a few more - but that is the absolute LEAST of what we need to do before July...

to which he says - we from that list all we really need to do is put together the crib... we won't need the other equipment right away (hello we need the car seat to get the kids home from the hospital) and we don't need clothes for the baby - we have clothes from when DS is born - I said Well yes - that baby was born in Jan and this baby in July - he does not see how a difference of 30 degree to 90 degrees will make a big diffrence in clothing - so then he says "what is the point of buying clothes that he is just going to grow out of in 2 week! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I guess we sohuld just leave our kid nakes al lthe time until he is fully grown! At this point I say i hate him and want to kill him, leave the bed and slam the door.

normally he isn't such a dope! I mean we just raised a kid together its not like this is his 1st time around?
So was he being dumb or me emotional???

ftmom's picture
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I would suggest a bit of both Smile Honestly, when I brought DD home we had a crib, carseat, and 6 sleepers.......so I do see his point. But on the other hand, you dont want to be trying to get everything together with a new baby in your arms either.....so I can see where you are coming from.

Hang in there. I'm sure he will come around after the craziness of job, wedding etc is over.

KET_2010's picture
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*Lurker*

He sort of sounds like my DH at times. Ha. We recently moved and I was the one who packed almost everything except maybe 4 boxes because DH was sure everything would be ready and by the time to actually move came, he was running around and making a huge mess of things! I was so mad because if he had let me do it my way we would've been more organized instead of him throwing things all over our kids' rooms. UGH!

With this pregnancy he is sort of like that. I keep telling him I wanna have our DS's room set up before he arrives, but DH keeps saying there's no point since he will be in our room in the first few weeks. It took him at least 2-3 MONTHS before he even measured to make sure all the car seats would fit in the back of our car! When it came to clothes, I just bought some off Craigslist and Ebay because I knew he wouldn't want to be bothered. I actually ended up setting up the crib at 36 weeks pregnant because I knew he wouldn't get it done lol.

I think that you're hormonal, but I can see where DH is getting on your nerves to contribute to it. Mine does the same thing. I love the crap out of him because he is wonderful and great with the kids we have and has been sweet about this pregnancy. Sometimes you unfortunately have to do things yourself to get them done, even when pregnant (ha, who do you think has been the only one to unpack at my house? Lol ME!)

Last time I was pregnant DH kinda did the same thing and our DD2 came 16 days early and we weren't all the way prepared. So while I was in the hospital he spent the day getting our apartment in order and getting her things in order. Ha sometimes they just need a little nudge once reality hits.

I have noticed though, that lately I really have to watch my anger and irritation at him because it's gotten bad lately. I keep having to tell myself all the nice things he's done lol. Hopefully he comes around soon though to prepare for your LO because it's so much easier when that happens!

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Yeah, probably a little bit of both. I totally get where you were coming from, DH has been aggravating me too, not listening, etc. I just don't think men get the whole planning thing. They think "Well, I hardly ever plan anything and everything turns out OK!" But they don't realize the reason everything turns out OK is because we make all the plans for them! LOL

Still, I'm sure your hubby didn't appreciate the death threat, even though you both know you'd never act on it! I'm having a heck of a time controlling my temper and saying things I don't mean all the time. But I've got to try to keep a good handle on it. I figure I'll do my best to control my temper, and he can do his best to avoid annoying me! Smile

ftmom's picture
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"SunDevil28" wrote:

Yeah, probably a little bit of both. I totally get where you were coming from, DH has been aggravating me too, not listening, etc. I just don't think men get the whole planning thing. They think "Well, I hardly ever plan anything and everything turns out OK!" But they don't realize the reason everything turns out OK is because we make all the plans for them! LOL

Still, I'm sure your hubby didn't appreciate the death threat, even though you both know you'd never act on it! I'm having a heck of a time controlling my temper and saying things I don't mean all the time. But I've got to try to keep a good handle on it. I figure I'll do my best to control my temper, and he can do his best to avoid annoying me! Smile

LOL! Where is the like button on here? This is going to be my motto for the rest of this pregnancy.

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I agree a little of both. Although there are times I think maybe we could be married to the same man lol. We have nothing left from our last kids so I had to buy everything all over again. I have just been buying stuff and showing him when it arrives because he has zero interest in picking stuff out anyways and I just end up mad at him lol.

readytoplanmom's picture
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I agree with everyone that it's a little of both and I think it's to be expected with all of the changes to come. This will me my first time through it and so far it hasn't been bad, but I already plan on doing most of the buying, building, and decorating myself, that way when he decides he wants to help it's an added bonus. I thought he would be more interested when we started our registries, but turns out he doesn't have an opinion on baby carriers, doesn't think we need a nice pack n play, thinks we can wait on baby proofing items, doesn't want a changing table( we agreed on a dresser that has room for a changing pad), and well...I wish my mom was in state so I could go with her, but then DH would complain that it's something we are suppose to do together.

Anyways, I could ramble on for days, I think it's a huge adjustment for anyone and there are going to be disagreements, you just have to find a middle ground and compromise so both parties are happy with the outcome. Maybe you two could set apart some time each week to talk about just the baby and to complete a baby task without the wedding and everything getting in the way. Good luck and remember we are here for you!