Who will be at your birth?

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Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131
Who will be at your birth?

I'm trying to figure this out, so thought I'd see what everyone else is planning to do.

With DS, it was DH, a doula, the midwife, about 500 nurses it seemed like, and my mom (she wasn't supposed to be actually in the room with us, but the way things went, she ended up being in there. I think she asked at one point if it was OK for her to stay and at that point in my labor I couldn't have cared less who was in the room).
This time, I'm trying to decide a) whether or not to get a doula and b) if I should invite my mom to be there again.
With DS, my labor was very quick and I didn't really need anything from anyone until about 2 hours before he was born, and then I needed a lot. I had 2 people pushing on my back and one person holding my leg up during contractions. However, I feel like I would have been fine without the doula, I was so out of it by the time she was there and assisting that it really didn't make any difference to me that she was there. I guess she helped DH some. With DS, when it got hard, I was not one of those women who wants to just be alone. I needed reassurance from people around me and I needed physical things from them like pushing on my back, etc. But it could be that DH and a nurse could handle that just fine.

carissar's picture
Joined: 06/22/07
Posts: 212

Well since I live 2000 miles away from most of my family and close friends, (besides my dad, stepmom, and brothers). It will just be DH and I. Since I am a doula myself I don't feel the need for one, honestly one would probably annoy me more than anything. I am a go inside myself type person with pain. Although depending on how fast things go, I may end up having my two older kiddos there if my step mom doesn't get to the hospital in time to pick them up, she lives an hour away. My DD would be totally on board with this my DS, probably not, so we have decided that the iPad and headphones will be going in the hospital bag incase he ends up having to be there lol. It is weird because my other 2 were born in OR where we are from and we had family and my best friends in the room, plus a waiting room full of people both times, so this time will be very different.....

Aggiegirl06's picture
Joined: 03/31/09
Posts: 567

As a FTM I'm going into this a little blind, but I really want it to be just me and DH. I feel like if I have my mom in there (which would honestly just annoy me more) then I would have to have his mom in there too.

EveC's picture
Joined: 11/02/04
Posts: 18

Since I'm a section, it will just be DH in the OR room. My oldest daughter I'm sure will show up after delivery.

ftmom's picture
Joined: 09/04/06
Posts: 1538

It will just be DH and I. Thats all I had for DS, and when I had DD it was just my Mom and I, although all the inlaws and my Dad were in the hallway (my dad snuck in and cut the cord after she was out Smile )

I am a total 'go inside myself' kind of person though, so I would rather be by myself during my labour. In fact, until we actually head to the hospital (during transition), I prefer to stay in the bathtub by myself and not have even DH around.

readytoplanmom's picture
Joined: 06/03/11
Posts: 168

I was thinking DH and my mom because my mom is a nurse and she has always been there when I feel the worst to make me feel better so what would this be any different? DH thinks she will drive him crazy and be more annoying than helpful and he wants to be the one helping me get through it, which I totally understand, but why can't I have both? Not sure what we will decide yet, I guess we will see when we get closer to making our birthing plan.

nmpiche's picture
Joined: 08/29/07
Posts: 508

I will have DH and probably a doula (I still need to find one!). Last time it was me, DH, a doula and my mom. My mom opted to watch DD this time. I think that's great but I did have a pretty tough labor last time (the worst my mom had ever seen - note that she's seen her own two and mine so not too much perspective there). I do think it was tough for her to see me go through it (DD was upside down and in crooked and did take a long time to get through the birth canal). DH liked having all the support, he was trying very hard but was kind of useless. I think the doula was the best person to have in there.

MrsDisel's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 338

Probably just my husband, my doctor and a nurse or two. I'd like to have my mom or my sisters with me, but I labor better alone and in the dark. My friend also wants to be there to do pictures. Not sure we'll have anyone in the room.

Lorah's picture
Joined: 11/06/05
Posts: 201

Well since I have csections it'll just be DH and I. But at the hospital, prolly my whole family. Which includes, My Mom, step dad, 2 sisters, Dad, Grandparents and my 3 other children. Possibly my Aunt and a friend or two! Smile

Joined: 05/06/04
Posts: 106

It will be just my husband and I which has caused a rift between mt mother and i

She was there at my last birth not by choice and my three before was just DH and I. This time she assumed she was going to be in the room again and when I announced my induction date she was like I will clear my calendar, I said oh food because I need some to help with the other kids since I can't watch them and she got all pissy and said fine I will take the older two leaving my mil with the younger two when what I meant was for her to take an older one and a younger one but she is so spiteful right now she won't even talk to me.

SunDevil28's picture
Joined: 04/30/07
Posts: 496

It will be just me and DH. Oh, and the surgical and anesthesia team! LOL

My parents will be at the hospital and I'm sure my ILs will be too, if I go all the way to my scheduled c/s date. I will really miss my sister but she will be away for a month for work when I have the baby.

I'm hoping I will have the baby on a weekday so DS can have a normal day at school and keep his routine, and our parents can be there. My parents and I are very close and I would hate for them not to be there, and I hope my ILs will be there because they weren't living here with DS so they missed out last time. Then one set of grandparents can pick up DS at school and bring him to the hospital. Sounds like a good plan but we'll see if it actually works out!