Cycle 9 and in july :(

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Joined: 08/10/13
Posts: 366
Cycle 9 and in july :(

Here's my vent
I just don't get it. I don't know why or what to do anymore to get a BFP. AF showed up today 3days early. So again cycles changed.
This is so darn frustrating. Ahhhhh

Sorry. Had to vent somewhere. DH reminds me it will happen when it happens but I just don't know emotionally if I can handle anymore.

What about you ladies???

Kixsgc's picture
Joined: 03/26/06
Posts: 245

Again, Sorry AF showed and early at that! What is going on with AF's this month!?

We're just going to have fun and try not to stress about it, at least not in front of DH, but that's what these forums are for, right?! Wink
It'll happen, when it happens and we'll be ready for whenever that is.

beccasweet's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 679

Vent away! ((HUGS))

I am debating taking a month off from charting myself. We have been TTC since April but this cycle that should be ending tomorrow is only my 4th. I'm afraid not charting may be just as stressful since my cycles are so wonky. Beee Hopefully this month is "when it happens" and you won't have to wait any longer.

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I'm beyond emotionally handling it, This month I broke down and cried for an hour. It is normal, TTC is dealing with various hormones all the time and it sucks, but the end result is so worth it

UpBeachMom's picture
Joined: 11/09/10
Posts: 838

I cried for the first time this cycle when AF came. I don't get it. I am as frustrated as you. I cannot stop taking my temp because I would stress out even more.

For me, I had everything planned out to have a baby early in the year, so that DS would be 3 1/2, a perfect age imgap IMO. Now he'll be almost 4 or more, depending on when this happens. I know it's not the end of the world but unjust for once wanted this to happen the way I wanted it to happen. It's so hard to hear about people havin sex once and getting pregnant, when it takes so much effort for me to get pregnant.

There's my vent Smile

Joined: 08/10/13
Posts: 366

The serious thought is throwing my hands up soon. November is approaching and my girls are getting older. At one point I don't want such a gap, it's a whole new start I can see that with your ds julie

I just can't handle it anymore. I'm still a wreck and trying to hide it so DH doesn't think I've lost my mind. Truly I have already Sad

What are you ladies going to do? Am I wrong for thinking this?

ange84's picture
Joined: 12/28/09
Posts: 6564

I have discussed that with hubby often, we have decided to keep trying. I am worried about the age gap, I never wanted more than about 2 years, but i had a c section so had to wait to even be considered a candidate for VBAC and head of maternity at my hospital is an idiot and would not rule me a candidate unless there was a full two years before I fell pregnant again, when I heard he was gone we started trying. Now we are looking at much closer to a four year gap, it makes me sad but having one child only would make me sadder, although I am working on acceptance of that situation

UpBeachMom's picture
Joined: 11/09/10
Posts: 838

I'm not ready to set an end date yet. I'm sure when I will be...I feel like I'm in it for a baby, and it will eventually happen - I've had 2 other babies, so it'll just take a bit more patience. Or at least that's what I'm trying to believe Smile

beccasweet's picture
Joined: 04/10/11
Posts: 679

We won't set an end date for a long time. My DD isn't 2 yet but I am 30. My end date would be based on my age more than anything but I'm not even considering that for now. I have friends with all kinds of age gaps between themselves and siblings and each has advantages and disadvantages so I am not worried about that personally.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

I'm 34. I turn 35 in February. At some point I will have to make the decision that I'm done because I'm too old.

If I was pregnant right now I'd be 35, DS would be 5, DD would be 3 1/2 when baby arrived. So I'm okay with that.

But I can't see myself trying for more than a year at this point. I think I'd feel like I do have two wonderful kids, I'm older and maybe that's just the way it's meant to be. I'm not there yet, but I can see myself getting there within the next year.

I think I'm going to try for two more cycles and then take a 5 month break. We have a big vacation for next November. So I'd want an August baby at the latest and then not want to try again until it would be a late January baby. So it's conceivable that I only have a couple more months to try and then I might be done forever. Sad

Joined: 08/10/13
Posts: 366

Tink
That's exactly how I feel, more my age. Kids difference is a little bit as well but our age is the breaking point. Not to mention the emotional drainage it's taken on us.

As much as I want baby#3 I can't go crazy doing it. It's just so hard Sad

KatieWillis's picture
Joined: 07/01/07
Posts: 1441

I haven't been posting much on the boards, but we're on our 9th cycle of ttc #3. We've decided to give it 4 more cycles and then probably just be done having babies. It's really been hard on our relationship and I've gained a little weight from the stress of it. We've had 3 chemical pregnancies, which have been especially hard. We're opposed to medical intervention purely for the fact that we cannot afford it and our insurance doesn't cover it. We got pregnant easily with our other 2, so I'm really hoping that it's just taking longer this time and there's no issues.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Agreed Katie & Katie! With two kids already I really can't make myself crazy with TTC #3 and DH would never agree to any interventions with two healthy kids already.

UpBeachMom's picture
Joined: 11/09/10
Posts: 838

Katie, wouldn't it be fun to share another July BB?! In all seriousness, I'm so sorry this is taking you so long.

Joined: 08/10/13
Posts: 366

Oh wow. Another Katie and talk about basically same situation!
That's wild.

Yes julie i agree. July would be neat Wink

I just feel it's never going to happen. Til that day I will keep my mind open but on the other hand it's just not fair for myself, DH and kids.

Joined: 07/29/13
Posts: 448

I just wish I could give all of you ladies a hug. It's not fair! And I know I don't understand what you all are going through. I wish I had answers for you all or a real life hug.

This was my first experience actually TTC...but I have lost 2 babies in the past. That's really the only thing I can compare this to. You have this little person inside and have all the hope and happiness and potential and then it's just taken from you. And then your friends fall pregnant and you are happy for them...but still you wonder why not me.

That's the only way I can relate...knowing you ladies want this so badly and every month is a new hope...I really do pray for you all that you all get your BFPs soon. That you would all get your little gifts of life! And that you could all have hope!

:bighug:
I really hope you all get them soon.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Thanks Stephanie!

Joined: 11/16/11
Posts: 265

Oh Katie - I feel you pain! ((HUGS!!!)) Here's my "story". We started trying over 30 cycles ago!!! DH has azoospermia - so he had all types of blood-work, MRI, ultrasound, etc, etc. (and thousands of $$ worth!!)
I started a new temporary job last October, so we decided to put TTC on hold until my job became permanent. Then I find out in January that my job now offered paid infertility treatment! I was super excited, but still didn't have the benefits b/c I was still a temporary employee. So I was frustrated that the job was dragging its feet, and stressed b/c everyone else was getting pregnant and having babies - and I had neither. Sad It was the hardest time of my life. We started IUI last month, didnt work :(, but just had our 2nd IUI yesterday...I am FAR from throwing in the towel. It is beyond difficult - mostly b/c we know we can never get pregnant naturally - but we're lucky in that our insurance covers most of our treatments. I know that it will happen. It may take us another few months, but it will happen...just try to stay positive. (believe me, i KNOW that's tough!!!!)

On a positive note - i started working out 5 months ago to deal with the frustration and depression - and i lost 20 lbs!!! Smile

The reason I post on this site is because I need that outlet, to vent, to obsess, and just know that I'm not alone. B/c you're not. We are all in this together. Smile