I know I've been pretty inactive on the board and haven't posted a good update--Izzy is doing FANTASTIC--but life seems to be getting away from me.
I've been subbing 2-3 times a week, and am training to begin teaching online courses for a new charter program our school district is launching. It's DH's busy season at work, which is always rough. But I feel like I'm falling apart and I don't really know who to talk to about it. Not sure if anyone on our forum has any input, but I haven't had a ton of time to look for or find any online support that isn't CRAZY for the issue of spousal depression.
Over the past couple of months (5-6 weeks has been the worst) DH has gotten very distant, and he decided to go seek counseling for depression. He's now diagnosed as depressed and has started taking medication (I think this will mark his 3rd week on the meds). The man I married and I have ALWAYS had a very affectionate, warm and passionate relationship, and so his changes have hit me really hard. I feel like it's unfair, but I'm often in a very sour mood because I feel like he doesn't like being around me--he always wants to have friends over, but doesn't seem to enjoy 1-on-1 time and has absolutely no interest in intimacy. We've gone from a couple who were DTD 4 or more times weekly to once a month. And it's not that he is totally ignoring me... if I hug him he hugs back, but he just seems to be going through the motions and it doesn't feel the same.
Things don't seem to have gotten any better since he started his meds, and a lot of what I'm reading online shows that it's common for antidepressants to have a negative effect on libido and affection. So now I'm panicking and worrying that this might be what life has to offer me from now on, and it breaks my heart. Anything I've found so far as support forums for spouses of depressed are extreme and all seem to be about families going through divorce and separating, with no hope of things improving. I can't believe that this is the only outcome. Have any of you dealt with this? Is it possible that he's just adjusting to his meds, and that eventually he'll be back to his normal self? Is it possible that it's worse because of work stress?
Just feeling really lost and alone right now. He's always been my rock, sounding board, and partner, and I miss him. Any help/input is greatly appreciated. Thanks.