Baby blues.

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ammoss890's picture
Joined: 10/08/11
Posts: 184
Baby blues.

Everyone warned me about emotional states after having baby but I honestly never thought I'd have to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby more than anything, but I've been having a rough time. I find myself having teary breakdowns daily, I can't sleep, I have no appetite. I miss being pregnant. I have terrible jealousy when other people hold Daniel. I went to the store to pick up a father's day cake and had a total panic attack because I was away from my baby. Baby Daniel makes me so unbelievably happy but when I have moments to myself I get so sad and I'm not entirely sure why I feel sadness.

Another issue, I've held my tongue over it, but I'm so tired of having company. People are here constantly, as soon as someone leaves, somebody else shows up and I'm not the type to start confrontation. My family has been outstanding, they know me so well and they know I'm tired and emotional, they atleast limit their visits and call first, they offer to help with chores and running to the store. I love our friends and I love Nick's family, but I need a break! I know everyone's excited and they want to spend time with baby but I'm just not up to entertaining company right now.

All I want is to spend time with Nick and my baby. Alone. As a family.
I think it'd really help me to de-stress and handle my emotions better.

newmommie25's picture
Joined: 09/20/07
Posts: 123

I hear you on the emotions. I have found myself crying all day and all last night for no reason. I just want to sit and cry all the time. I dont remember it happening this soon after the other babies. I also no not want to be away from the baby at all. I have been sleeping in the living room so that she can be right next to me because even though her crib is in our room I felt like it was too far from me. I am hoping this gets a little better in the next few days. It is hard to be so sad and worried about everything. I am so in love with her and my 2 big kids are being great so I know I should be happy but its not working for some reason.

As for the visitors maybe you could tell people you just need a week of you and your husband and baby alone to bond. It may help you be less stressed. It is hard when everyone is excited but they can wait a week to see the baby.

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

I'm sorry you are feeling like that. What you described all sounds normal to me though...it is normal to cry every day after you have a baby, believe it or not! Your hormones are totally out of whack and trying to resettle themselves, and you just had a HUGE life change, even though it was a positive one, it is still so stressful, and you just went through childbirth, which while amazing, natural and awesome is definitely a shock for most women. It takes time to bounce back from. It's even harder when you feel like you should be feeling nothing but joy and love, it makes you feel guilty or that something is wrong when you feel weepy and sad too. I remember being pretty off kilter for about 2 weeks with DS, and then started to feel normal again. Hopefully it starts to feel better soon! And you are allowed to tell people to get out of your house, by the way, and they will understand. You can even pick a day or something when you just tell everyone "no visitors today" so you can just focus on your family.

ammoss890's picture
Joined: 10/08/11
Posts: 184

It's nice to be able to vent out some feelings on here and hear that I'm not the only one experiencing things.

knhoward's picture
Joined: 04/22/08
Posts: 998

*Lurker* I have a 4 week old and I went through the same thing. In addition I was having some problems with breastfeeding (which even at 4 weeks still make me sad) It's normal to feel that way - but it's not normal if those feelings drag on for months. For now make sure you take care of yourself and the baby. :bigarmhug:

jubileerose's picture
Joined: 06/12/09
Posts: 549

Honey, I wish I could hug you. It's ok. But you need to speak up for yourself now.
Have a day off all visitors, insist your hubby sit on the couch with you and hug you and the baby. Cry whenever you feel like it- it's mostly just hormones, and you'll feel better after.
Just speak up and declare the next few days visitor free. If you don't take care of yourself and hole up and nest, nobody will know that's what you need.
I'm going through the same thing, but it's not new to me, do I'm just speaking up.
Take care!

shroutbabymama85's picture
Joined: 11/08/11
Posts: 434

"ammoss890" wrote:

Everyone warned me about emotional states after having baby but I honestly never thought I'd have to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby more than anything, but I've been having a rough time. I find myself having teary breakdowns daily, I can't sleep, I have no appetite. I miss being pregnant. I have terrible jealousy when other people hold Daniel. I went to the store to pick up a father's day cake and had a total panic attack because I was away from my baby. Baby Daniel makes me so unbelievably happy but when I have moments to myself I get so sad and I'm not entirely sure why I feel sadness.

Another issue, I've held my tongue over it, but I'm so tired of having company. People are here constantly, as soon as someone leaves, somebody else shows up and I'm not the type to start confrontation. My family has been outstanding, they know me so well and they know I'm tired and emotional, they atleast limit their visits and call first, they offer to help with chores and running to the store. I love our friends and I love Nick's family, but I need a break! I know everyone's excited and they want to spend time with baby but I'm just not up to entertaining company right now.

All I want is to spend time with Nick and my baby. Alone. As a family.
I think it'd really help me to de-stress and handle my emotions better.

after my hell of antibiotics every two hours and not sleeping, i went through the same ordeal. only thing is though, i lost it. i told dh people were smothering me. especially the mil. she showed up the other day after i only had 2 hrs of sleep and just got jayden to sleep. she woke jayden up after telling her i hadnt slept and just got him to sleep. well i walked outside called dh and i must have one of those mouths cuz she ended up calling dh after she left and apologized. i explained it that i wasn't one of those people who don't allow them around their kids, it's just that i wanted left the heck alone. so i hear ya on that. hasn't been bad since.

the only other weird thing i've felt was not being used to being small again. seems so weird to see myself without the tummy but it is nice to maintain the lawn department, as well as the other things i couldn't do for the last 6-7months. hang in there....i talked to dh about how i was feeling and spent a whole day as a family and glad we did, it was fun!

greenmylife's picture
Joined: 10/24/11
Posts: 355

(((hugs)))

I hope you get some quiet time soon. I understand your feelings.....especially from DS1.

Joined: 04/30/09
Posts: 2257

*lurker*

I'm sorry you're going through this. Kids are so overwhelming despite how wonderful they are, and having company over 24/7 is a lot to take in too when you're still adjusting to your new baby. I agree that while what you're describing sounds normal and familiar, if it feels too out of the norm for you or you feel like it's getting to be too much, I'd definatly mention it to your OB/MW. If it was me and it was still going on at my 6 week pp checkup, I'd say something. I had PPD with DD but I didn't think that's what it was because it wasn't the same as "normal" depression and so I kept my mouth shut for a long time and just suffered through it. I hope that's not the case for you, but just that if you feel you need help dealing with your emotions don't be afraid to ask for it. ((HUGS))

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Ooh, yeah, tell everyone to leave you the heck alone!!! My birth class teacher told us- don't get dressed for two weeks after birth- live in pajamas and a robe. Look like ****! That way when people do show up, they feel umcomfortable staying for long. Or you can always just put a sign on your front door, "We are resting and getting to know each other. Please leave us food if you brought it, and come back for a visit in two weeks time! Thank you!" and that way, you don't even have to answer the door. Smile

That all said- I have a history of depression outside pregnancy/postpartum so I watch myself pretty carefully, because I know I'm more likely to suffer PPD as well. That said, sometimes I have trouble distinguishing between just the baby blues and actual PPD. I take my placenta pills to help- but I know that's not a common option, nor even an available option if you haven't planned ahead for it.

I do think a lot of what you're feeling is normal (I honestly think it is a primal instinct for moms not to want to be separated from their newborns). But like someone else said, if you start to feel like you really can't handle it (even once people are giving you space), or if it continues on for a long time, it would be good to mention it to your care provider.

nea458's picture
Joined: 07/26/11
Posts: 376

BIG HUGS...you are not the only one experiencing these emotions. I had it rough too! Well, with my first baby I had a touch of the "baby blues" and found out it was not only based off my off-the-wall emotions but because I was sleep deprived and trying to do everything on my own. With my second, I was fine. Now, with Wes, I had the emotions but I blame it on my mother who was supposed to help me with him (the whole point while she was here while DH was deployed). Anyway, long story short...she left a week after I gave birth and during that time we were having yelling matches that was not conducive to a peaceful and non-emotional environment. I do feel relieved that she is gone now. It was almost like having 4 kids instead of 3. Sad. But, try not to put too much on your plate, sleep when you can, stay hydrated, and adjust to his needs. You will get through this. If it becomes too much, ask for help. Seriously. That is the mistake I did with my first...I attempted to do everything on my own because I wanted everyone to see that I could do it w/out asking for help. Big hugs to you!

wlillie's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 1796

Have you been able to get out of the house besides the trip to the store? I enjoy taking walks with our family to get out and about. I think the sun helps too.

We've had house guests except for Sunday since two days before the baby was born and my mom just showed back up with my 5 year old niece and a freezer full of food despite me pitching a fit the last time she brought food to my house two weeks ago. And before that when dh was in Japan, I had company (needed for the 4 year old in case I went into labor early) for a week. I know how you feel about alone time. I love them, but so far none of them have been helpful at all so it's frustrating to be cleaning up after "company" while they hold my newborn. I am done.

:bighug:

RebeccaA'07's picture
Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 1628

Totally normal. This is my second and I still get an overwhelmed weepy feeling when someone is holding Abram, I want to snatch him right back and keep him snuggled next to me. If you feel like there are too many people, limit them. They might be excited to see the baby but you need your down/alone time to get used to being a family, too. Hang in there...the weepy feeling passes after a couple of weeks!!

boilermaker's picture
Joined: 08/21/02
Posts: 1984

I could have written Lillie's post Wink My Mil is here now and she is driving me insane......

((HUGS)) What you are experiencing sounds totally normal, but it still sucks. Hang in there!

sometimes's picture
Joined: 07/08/08
Posts: 900

Huge hugs, hope you're feeling a little better today... it took me over 2 weeks to start feeling somewhat normal again, I was really concerned I had PPD but it evened out and I felt much better. It was definitely gradual but one day I noticed I just wasn't as emotional.

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